HOLY FREAKING MOLEY IT'S SNOWING RIGHT NOW!
Ok, it's ended now.
And they were only flurries, really.

Yikes!
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Stephen Says
Holy crap, no blogging for a couple of days and Hunter S. Thompson goes and kills himself! Okay, 1st things 1st and a belated happy birthday to Catherine. I hope that Clyde's was a ton of fun.

Not much blogging for the next little while, I suspect - We're getting back to life in the UK & Elisabeth doesn't have much interest in writing anything about the Paris trip, claiming that I sad it all. Consider this a call to start nagging her to post something.

So what did we do over the weekend you ask? Well, Friday night we had a very nice dinner with one of Elisabeth's co-workers & Saturday found us grotty from a late night out so we went to the mall and ate mall bagels and fake-shopped except that I ended up buying a tie so it wasn't fake at all.

On Sunday I woke and realized that Elisabeth had been quite crafty the night before & took advantage of my weakness for cider by getting me to agree, while I was enjoying the sweet, sweet apple nectar, to go out for a traditional English breakfast. 10 pounds later, having consumed one oily egg & some runny beans in tomato sauce, she learned why I tend to avoid this branch of European cuisine. Good coffee, though. We'll go back for that.

Other than that, Elisabeth caught up on her correspondances this weekend & I filled out job applications that are so obscenely obtuse, most people probably wouldn't beleive, for example, that to apply for a job that's really just a combination of date entry & schlepping boxes around, I've got to write a paragraph on examples of my skills & experience in: (1)Teamworking, (2)Leadership, (3)Building relationships, (4)Communicating, (5)Delivering a quality service, (6) Developing and applying expertise, (7) Thinking and decision making, plus (8)Additional information and 4(!!!) references; 2 character related and 2 work related. The only god thing about the application is that it came in an envelope stamped "On Her Majesty's Service."

...Must find work...

Bonus Monday morning filo recipe:
1 fried onion, 1 big package of spinache(blanched), ricotta cheese, feta cheese, grated jarlsberg cheese all wrapped in 5 layers of filo, each brushed with melted butter & cooked at 375 for 30 minutes.

Marmalades may get sent out this week.

Bureaucratic Buffoonery
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Neurosis - Times of Grace
Topic: Stephen Says
We've been back to England only 3 days and the nonsense is already piling up.

1) Due to the fact that I went to Paris instead of staying in the UK and signing on for the dole, I got in a bunch of trouble at the Job Center and was told that because of my actions I would be taken off the list and would have to re-apply. When I pointed out that I wasn't getting any money anyway and didn't see what the point was, I was told that it was about maintaing the levels of my pension. I pointed out that I would only be in England for a few more years and wouldn't be eligible for a pension and was told that, yes, signing in every two weeks was a big, fat waste of time. Especially since I can make payments into my pension retroactively once I've started working. The dole officer agreed to tear up my application so long as I promised not to come after him should I decide to stay in England and, in a few years time, discover my pension isn't as high as I'd thought it would be. I promised not to and we called it even.

2) Dell has now sent me two invoices for over 380 pounds for their non-existent repairs on the computer. I've had to get in touch with them and point out that they've never actually done any repairs on poor old She-Bop and they've promised to credit my Visa in a few days. I'll see it when I beleive it.

3) There will be some mad tidying going on tomorrow as the landlord & estate agents will be coming by for their 1/2-yearly inspection. They'll be bringing some building assessor-somethings to appraise the value of the flat as well. While housing prices in England are stagnating or dropping; Wokings market is booming and, according to last week's real estate news; we're paying 50-75 pounds a month less on our flat than we should be. I suspect this will be an attempt to twist our arms to pay more when our lease comes up for renewal. I suspect, though, that when our flat is assessed, it won't deliver our landlord the god news he's hoping for.

4)I've got to go and check our electricity meter. We got our bill the other day and thay've doubled how much we're expected to pay. Elisabeth called them up to find out how they'd come to their conclusion that we'd doubled or eletricity usage and they told her it was only an 'estimate' based on 'projected energy usage' for this time of year. Seeing as we haven't turned our heat on all winter, I seriously doubt that we're using more. Hopefully the people below us will get around to using more heat, though. It's been bloody cold in here the last few days and we need to steal their warmth!

5) And finally the good news... We got out phone bill and this 1p a minute deal is frigging fantastic! Over 6 hours of calls to Canada and we were charged less than 4 pounds. If anyone in the UK wants the number, drop me a line...

Paris in Pictures pt.2
Topic: Paris trip 2005
After a tough schlep, it's nice to be able to lounge in the foyer of our hotel room with a glass of wine.

Elisabeth consults the map, wondering where the heck Stephen's taken her now. The Ecole Militaire is in the background.

Like I wrote before, the sun only came out when it mattered. One of those times was when we were at Sainte Chapelle:

Sacre Coeur:

And click HERE for a panorama of Paris from Sacre Coeur that's too big to fit on the blog. [For some reason the linking mechanism isn't working right now so if you can't click on "HERE'" copy and paste this address into your browser to go to the panorama: https://www.angelfire.com/oz/rexcats/uk214.html ]

31 kilometers in 60 hours
Topic: Paris trip 2005
[Apologies in advance; I can?t find the button to put accents on all the appropriate vowels.]

Day 1
Note to self (1): When buying e-tickets, remember that Elisabeth?s maiden name is still on her passport. This will prevent an awkward situation while you?re trying to board the plane when you?re told that you can?t because the ticket name doesn?t match up with the passport name. Luckily the dunce behind the check-in counter should have been the one to catch the discrepancy and so there?s not much that they can do about it.

Note to self (2): The Parisian check-in lady will be more alert and catch the problem and be kind enough to bend to rules for you and tear up your old ticket and print out a new, ?corrected? one. The moral of the story: Always travel with your marriage certificate.

At the airport we discovered that the French have a knack of turning Elisabeth beet red. The first occurrence is during her passport check and the officer, upon seeing her Canadian passport says ?Ah, une cousine.? At which point, Elisabeth blurts out in true Quebecois fashion ?Ouai!? Much to the officers amusement.

So we arrived in Paris and were bowled over by so many things. Mostly the pace ? No one running around being busy-bodies like in the UK. Everything?s at a much more relaxed pace, Canadian style. We were even able to stop on a street corner and look around without having anyone bump into us.

I?m not even going to touch upon the insane architecture and city planning. Consider me suitably impressed.

We checked in, walked through the Champs Elysees and pretty much got our bearings; saw the opera house, wandered about. I ate the best baguette I?d ever had and realized that my vegetarianism would be severely challenged seeing as most Parisians were under the impression that fish grew from trees. Luckily there were lots of pizza joints.

We hit the main drag that night and soaked up Parisian tourist culture and had a late supper. My accent, as usual, sucked but once I got over the embarrassment of it, people were happy to talk back to me in French.

At least 5 kilometers walked.

Day 2
Got up, ate, walked along the Seine to the Eiffel Tower and then along the Left Bank, passed by the Musee D?Orsay and ate lunch. Walked to Notre Dame cathedral, Sainte Chapelle, and then wandered around the area until we found a marche, fromagerie & a boulangerie. Walked back to the hotel and crashed.

At least 16 kilometers walked.

That night we became acquainted with European culture: German MTV, French games & variety shows, and of course, CNN.

Day 3
Checked out of the hotel, ate, decided to take it easy so we walked up to Sacre Cour & then toured Montmartre. It started to hail so we hid in a cafe. Then we walked back to the Champs Elysees to see it in daylight and realized that exhaustion and grumpiness was setting in & we still had 4 hours ?till we were picked up to go to the airport. So we loitered in Cafe before setting out and walking for the 100th time through the Jardin des Tuileries, did some window shopping & checked out the insane antique shops outside the Louvre.

At the very, very least, another 16 kilometers walked.

I?m still to pissed off to go into what happened at Charles de Gaulle airport; suffice to say that it involved, in a microcosm, a reenactment of the current state of American/French relations post-9/11 and climaxed with a bottle of Orangina exploding all over my crotch.

And that?s it; back to England. If you have any questions, post them below and I?ll fill in the blanks. Elisabeth will be posting her own version of events soon enough.

Paris in Pictures
Topic: Paris trip 2005
Our trip was pretty grey with occasional bursts of sunlight at the best possible times. Here, Elisabeth poses with the Eiffel Tower in the background; it's top shrouded in mist. We're in France, not England, I swear!

A very sexy shot of the Champs Elysees at night; the obelisk is all lit up, the Eiffel Tower in the background doing it's best impression of Place Ville Marie.

Elisabeth & the Arc de Triomphe

The next day wasn't as grey and Stephen gets his chance to pose infront of the Eiffel Tower...

...and then pose beneath it...

...and then the tower got a chance to pose all by itself.

Outside Notre Dame Cathedral(Almost as impressive as the one in Montreal):

Stephen wonders 'what's it all about' inside Sainte Chapelle.

The answer comes later that evening with a dinner of vin rouge, une baguette frais & some tres smelly cheese.

More to come later...

A few more hours...
Mood:  rushed
Now Playing: Neurosis - The Eye of Every Storm
Topic: Stephen Says
Yikes! Prince Chuck has finally embraced his homosexuality and is getting married to that transvestite, the Bowels "woman." I'll be interested to see how all this plays out with the British public; last I heard, same-sex marriage wasn't a popular subject. After all, look at the deteriorating state of society in Canada - we haven't yet come to our senses and embraced all those sensible British notions like 'council tax,' 'the class system,' and 'kissing George W. Bush's arse.' It's a wonder how can get around to get to our local grocery store to buy our Red Rose tea!

Therefore, this will be our last blog entry for a few days as E&I will be taking to the Continant, where we will see how the other half lives.

[By 'other half,' I refer to the non-english speaking barbarians who eat cheese, conquer this glorious isle but find the stubborn nature of this lands people too strong to assiliate, and of course, resist kissing George W. Bush's queue.]

I suspect that, on our return to this Sceptered Isle, we'll have some pictures to post so hopefully that will satisfy the bleating of the colonials over in the New World.

Cheerio!

Update
(...Oddly, I'm still listening to Neurosis...)

Here's a link to keep y'all busy while we're away, courtesy of my lovely wife. Be warned; there's lots of potty language in it; though it's perfectly justified:
Some British views on our charming hamlet, WOKING

Coffee is wonderful
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: nomeansno
Topic: Stephen Says
blogging in note-form:
1) The computer seems to have magically fixed itself so WooHoo. Plus we're able to run programmes that we never could before so ... what's up with that? As a result, I don't know if we'll be sending She-Bop away to the Dell warehouse. If we don't, Dad; we'll just return your cheque since a little check up will probably only cost a few quid.

2)Happy birthday to Stephen W.! 30 years old? you're a big boy now!

3)Jenn; your marmalade will get sent soon... sometime this week. Maybe. Sean, you'll get yours once E's figured out how to burn DVD's etc.

4) Must go; I've got nothing else to say. Silly computers. Silly, silly computers.

MONDO BAD-O
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: The humming of Flourecent Lights
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
________THIS IS A SERVICE ANNOUNCEMNET ________

"She-bop", better known as Stephen's Laptop, has fallen ill and will be out of commission indefinetly. We are more broken up about this than you are...believe me. We will report back when the situation is more clear. But suffice to say, the keyboard is not functioning & the motherboard might have to abandon ship.

This message was brought to you courtesy the Photo Album Company :)

Unbeleivable
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Stephen Says
I got into an argument with the woman at Barclays Bank this morning because I didn't bring 'additional' identification when I paid my Visa. She demanded to see at least 1 other piece of photo ID (which I didn't have) and I was told that I wouldn't be able to put the money on my Visa. I told her that I refused to leave because it wasn't like I was TAKING money off my Visa so she had to talk to the manager who in turn made me answer a barrage of questions to verify who I was. When I told them that I've never had this problem in the past, I was told that it was "standard" when you pay more than 300 pounds onto your Visa account.

Man, I wish that I had asked them what they would have done if I'd have paid 200 pounds in today and then come back tomorrow and paid the other 125.