"Watching the English" tm
Mood:  chatty
Now Playing: Bjork (Debut)
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Right...Monday is just about over. It was a beautiful day today...18 degrees...clear sky...high ceiling...low humidity...intermittently sunny...perfect.

Unfortunately I could not bike to work today because I was forced to leave my bicycle there over the weekend, so I could free my hands to bring home an electric drill. With that drill we installed our beautiful new curtains, which frankly make me feel like a new person. Those ugly mouldy, water-stained orange drapes were just weighing on my mind like a gorilla.

Stephen is playing D & D tonight, so I have some time to read "Watching the English" that he bought for me on his last day at work (see yesterday's entry). I finished THE AMBER SPYGLASS (the 3rd of the Philip Pullman Trilogy) and felt thoroughly satisfied. My eyes were not dry, but then I cry at most things emotional either happy or sad. Weird girly thing I'm pretty sure.

The key to this new book is in the second part of the title: the HIDDEN rules of English Behaviour.

Basically, Kate Fox is an English Anthropologist at a research school in Oxford. She is trained to identify the hidden codes and mores of cultures.

The very fact the Fox examines the rhymes and reasons of the English people is a taboo in itself. I almost feel ashamed to be reading the book on the train, in case some Nosy Parker glances at the cover and feels embarrassed that I'm reading about all their secrets. Because there are a lot of secrets.

For one, they pride their ability to master emotion, harness honesty, and guard their private lives while ripping everyone else's open.

What makes looking at English behaviour unique is that whereas most behaviours of any given culture are done unconsciously, such as wearing baseball caps or being friendly to strangers, the English are usually very aware of their behaviour at all times, but are simply unaware of how illogical it all is.

For instance, when meeting new people "...the English do not want to know your name, or tell you theirs, until a much greater degree of intimacy has been established..." And of course not all English people are this way, and if you feel you need to qualify how she defines "the English" read her introduction, because she makes a very strong argument based on her sound research that these rules apply to the majority of people living in England.

And most English therefore, subscribe to the unwritten rule that the weather is mentioned as a greeting, as an ice-breaker, and as conversational filler. With so many uses for weather-talk, it is also useful to know this rule: "Always agree" If someone says "Ooh it's chilly today" (and to a Canadian this couldn't be farther from the truth) and you disagree, even mildly, this "is a serious breach of etiquette." If you do, "you will find the atmosphere becomes rather tense and awkward, and possibly somewhat huffy." She goes on to point out that the English Weather is one of few things about which the English are unashamedly patriotic. They treat it like a member of their family...the English can moan about it, but outsiders certainly cannot! They don't take to comparison to other climates, as "Size...isn't everything, and the English weather requires an appreciation of subtle changes and understated nuances, rather than a vulgar obsession with mere volume and magnitude."

I.e.---the English are petty and unreasonable.

Now everything is starting to fall into place...why English people don't take too kindly to us Canadians here at Rexcats. We're vulgar, honest, and "gasp" we like to express ourselves freely!

Already today I tried the new etiquette techniques, and saw them working.

Doubtless there will be more quotes from this book as time goes on.

Happy End of Monday!

Can't think of no stinkin' title
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Charlie Chesterman - From the Book of Flames
Topic: Stephen Says
I survived my first major clothes shop in England today. It was relatively painless, really. Elisabeth and I puttered about and looked at clothes and I tried them on, feeling smugly superior to the gentleman who was begging his wife to come into the changing room to help him tell if his shirt fitted. She rightly pointed out that it was a men's changing room and couldn't help him sort out if the shirt was too tight across his chest or not. He would just have to figure it out himself.

Anyway, a few trousers and some shirts later and Elisabeth says that I look like a man now and not a guy rapidly approaching 30 who refuses to grow up. I won't be sleeping well tonight.

Todays point of high stress was when we tried to install a curtain rod & curtains. I couldn't measure out where I was supposed to drill the holes to make everything straight (Elisabeth did that) and Elisabeth was afraid to use the drill, so I got to wreck install things. [Actually, the contraption that I used wasn't a drill but an electric screwdriver that I managed to fit a drill bit onto and then just pressed really hard against the wall.] All this was to the dramatic background music of Yobbo & his girl having one hell of a fight. Yobbo is a rhetorical philosopher, it seems, as he was quite keen to stress that "You mean nothing to me! Love? Nothing! Women? Nothing! Children? Nothing!" Quite an intellectual capactiy for argument and debate he has, let me tell you!

We also put up a framed Klimt print from Elisabeth's company and I got to vaccum up the mess. I'm blogging now while Elisabeth irons. She's also preparing a new dish for dinner tonight: vegetable and cashew currey with sweet potato & coconut milk. I'm not at the bookstore anymore so, alas, no more strange but true tales. *sigh* Anyhow, the flat looks quite nice. It's lighter now without the oppressive weirdness of the orange/pink curtain coated with mold, mildew & water stains.

Finally, a book that EVERYONE should read: Watching the English: The hidden rules of English behaviour by Kate Fox. It's an anthropological study of the British by a Brit. It's well researched & funny & very informative. It's shameful the degree of major faux pas' we've made. And we're still on the first chapter. Who could have known that there were so many intricasies to discussig the weather???

Crimewatch!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Mr. Bungle - California
Topic: Stephen Says
1 day left at the bookstore and I have the following tales of true crime to report:

(1) Earlier this week, a cunning robbery was carried out at the Staines branch (Staines: Linoleum capital of Great Britain), where two [As it turns out, one] whole SHELVES of BBC spoken word comedy CD's were stolen. We've been told not to accept any 'returns' of CD's of their ilk without a receipt as proof of purchase. Police are looking for good humoured people with a near encyclopedic knowledge of every episode of Black Adder, The Goon Show & Fawlty Towers.

(2) Due to excessive dodgyness, we've had to stop accepting exchanges by a group of people who want to continuously return & exchange crime novels without receipts. This one's a bit harder to explain; they exchange 4 crime novels for new and/or the same novels with no method to their madness. Then exchange them for 4 more a few days later. The returned books are in perfect condition except for the fact that someone has folded the cover all the way back. I want to beleive it's some kind of frat-boy prank but who knows - it's Woking, after all.

1 more Year to Thirty
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Arsenal vs. Manchester
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Someone is 29!! Here are the highlights:

Still young at heart the night before his b-day:)

And here's what a 29 year old looks like:

Until he gets into his cups that is:

Happy Birthday Stephen! (And P.S: don't eat 2 deep dish pizzas for lunch, and expect to be able to eat a large Dominos pizza for dinner as well. Especially not when you have also eaten a bag of licorice candy, and pack after pack of Fizzles)

Hip Hip Horay
Mood:  celebratory
Now Playing: Mitch Benn's Crimes Against Music
Topic: Stephen Says
Elisabeth has once again reminded me why I love & married her and sorted out those theiving turd-monkeys over at Dell. It looks like, at long last, they're going to give us back our 381.88 pounds. I'm aware that we probably haven't really blogged about the whole Dell stupidity but it's been so infuriating and soul destroying that, up until this minute I haven't been able to deal with the issue in public without spazzing out. Big time.

I doubt I'll be at the bookstore much longer either; I've received my background check that has confirmed that I have no prior of pending criminal convictions and that I am not a threat to at-risk adults. So the good news is that I'll be starting my 'real' job soon. The bad news is that my street cred is ruined.

So with that in mind, I'll tell a story or three:

"I'm looking for a book. I don't know it's title or it's author but it's about bees."
"Is it a children's book?"
"No."
"Is it fiction? Natural history?"
"I don't know. Look, it's been featured on the television. It's been written about in the papers!"
"If you can tell me which papers or channels, I can look it up."
"Well how should I know which one's!"

Or how about this one?

"I'm looking for a map and I won't order one. I need to see it before I buy it. It's a map of Egypt. More specifically, Alexandria. ... Well?"

Or how about this one? (Granted, it's a blast from the past but I must obey The Rule of Three.)

"You HAVE to sell posters of horse anatomy! You sell books about horses, after all!"

I must be getting old
Now Playing: Some tacky Fats Waller wannabe show music
Topic: Stephen Says
Or else I'm not sleeping enough. This morning I washed my face with hair gel by accident. Elisabeth is cooking a quiche for tomorrow as I type. The benefits of going to the pub with your co-workers on a Friday night: another week or two at the bookstore. One would think that would mean more money, but Barclay's bank won't get involved in the whole afair of Dell charging me almost 400 pounds for some non-existant repairs. I'm desperate - does anyone have any advice? The only people who I can ever seem to talk to are call centre jockeys in India who don't give a rats ass about my problems. Tomorrow E&I are going to try a tri-pronged attack with me going after the bank and her going after Dell but, uh, my advice to all you computer users out there is DELL SUCKS. BOO DELL YOU CHEAP MONEY GRUBBERS. (Sorry; I'm trying to influence the ads at the top out the page.)

Bluh. I don't have anything to say - just wanted to blog. Elisabeth is the reigning blog queen at the moment.

Filo Pastry Blues
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: BBC 4
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Stephen is quite upset because Pilsbury is an arsehole Filo Patry supplier b/c while they only fill the packages with 6 sheets, the filo pastries we usally get from Waitrose have 20 sheets. Now our dinner will most certainly split apart. "Split apart, it's already fuckin' slipt apart" ie..our dinner will be ruined exponentially.

Also, he's had a nosebleed today after our trip to the pub....

But before all of this mayhem, we had a wondeful stroll to the Bridge Barn Pub and had a couple pints, whilst planning our trip back to north america.

Basically, so you all can be told at the same time...we are now planning to make a trip at Christmas-tyme. "Until we find those blue scissors, my nose hair is going to keep growing longer and longer. Fuck, fuck, all filo pastry's cunts." That's is what Stephen is feeling right now.

{Erm, Stephen here - I'm doing my impression of our yob neighbour, replacing filo pastry with his usual hit list of victims which include his wife, child and any race he deems below his scrawny, homely, inbred character. Um, which only leaves real estate agents & landlords as far as I'm aware...}

Ok--so basically because the Westbergs (Elis's fam) is having Christmas this year, we will be making the trip over in Dec. anyway. So we figure, why come in Sept. and Dec? Big waste o' money that we don't have. So we will be coming in Dec. We will probably fly into MTL, and then make our way to T.dot. From there we will travel to Wisconsin to the seminary (where my family is) and then backtrack to MTL for New Years and fly away. So...what we want to know is where YOU will be in Dec. so we might begin to arrange to visit you!

{Stephen here again: This also means that lots of funds are now freed up so we can visit my sister & her beau in Marseille and Mark & Dr. J in Berlin, later on this year. Effin' Eh!}

And while you're musing over the possibilities, here's a picture of spring in Woking:

Friday night Live!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Neko Case-Blacklisted
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
I'm scrapping brownie from a knife with my teeth, and then washing it down with white wine. I just felt my teeth tingle with approval (or was it the opposite...I know it's been over six months but...)

And like I promised, I bought some Chardonnay...5.99 pounds, marked down from 7.99...and just so that no body thinks I wasted my money, I thought I ought to prove what kind of value for money I got:



So it's the end of the week...what are you doing this weekend? Hopefully someone has plans to a) Go out drinking with friends b) Going on a trip somewhere (anything that's not in your post-code counts) or c) Going out to see, hear, or do anything. Please unveil your social calender to the Allins, so we might live vicariously through you.

The reason is that Stephen is working all of Saturday, and Sunday we like to just relax at home. Nothing wrong with that, but boy sometimes do we wish you all were here.

There is a gorgeous cat outside on the wall:

And I'm going to go read more of Phillip Pullmans' The Amber Spyglass, which made me cry on the train today (I'm in the middle of the third book for anyone out there who's read-em.) I am enchanted with this trilogy. It really strikes a chord inside.

And now for some political commentary:

Terry Schiavo: Look, I havnt' been able to bring myself to keep up to date on this story, hoping that sometime soon it could rest in peace... I believe it is not natural to use science to defy the call of death for years on end. I also believe its blatantly hypocritical of pro-lifers and fundamentalists to suddenly back technology as a stand in for God. Again, I havn't been keeping up with the news stories really, but it strikes me that the issue here is not over this woman, or the debate whether or not it is correct to keep people on life-support indefinitely, but rather, it seems to be about who has more of a right over a person's life: the parents, or the spouse.

Is that over-simplifying things?

But think about it, the real horror of this newstory, is this family ripped apart--the parents loosing a daughter, the husband loosing a wife. Then the media pours acid in the wounds.

But when it comes down to knowing best what somebody else wants, I honestly don't think parents are ever the best candidate for the job. As hurtful as that feels for parents, it is true. A partner/lover/spouse on the other hand is in a relationship of equality (hopefully) and intimacy (hopefully). Over an issue like life & death, how many times do you think a partner is going to make the wrong decision for the person they are in love with? Maybe I'm way off the mark here...

ANOTHER ISSUE: the world's natural resources

I am getting scared my friends. I do not like all these reports coming out once again to try and convince all the greedy assholes out their that their lifestyles are unsustainable for a future.

I find have children a matter of moral responsibility to HAVE them, then to NOT have them.

I find this idea is difficult for anyone over 45 years of age to understand, but probably because they are not affected, and neither will their children.

In the end, we must all be prepared for the worst. For in how many articles do they offer information as to what can be done, and how you can help now. Very few. I can only hope that nature will take its own recourse, and if that means natural disasters to wipe out millions, but the end result is a balance eco-system again, than I say so be it. I would rather die knowing that the world will correct itself, than to go on child-less, or living with the knowledge that my children and grandchildren will face hardships that they were never responsible for.

ok--I am going to finish the rest of the wine. Maybe Stephen will be home soon....

ciao

Honey I'm Home
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Stephen's Star Wars Trivia
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
I am surprised to be home right now, and in fact I was home by seven with Chinese takeaway b/c the meeting finished early, gasp! So don't cry for me...but I will still be home early with a bottle of chardonnay tomorrow.

Oh yeah...and more book-token fiascos today at the bookstore...

Hi folks, Stephen here. Look'it! I drew a pitcher. We went and got us some art supplies and I can draw again. Welcome to my subconscious:

I came up with a really good name for it but then I forgot it so I'll try to remember it, though I think it'll stay forgotten.

Mid-Week Update
Mood:  lyrical
Now Playing: They Might be Giants -Lincoln
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Hey y'all,

So far this week:

Stephen has been disappointing customers who are trying to use out-dated book-tokens...a surprising number have come into the bookstore this week. He discovered today the reason why his new job has not started yet: they only today posted the references. Luckily Stephen was in charge of the post today...

For me, there's a big product meeting tomorrow where the company reviews which products are definitely discontinued, as well as select new products to be introduced in the fall. This has involved a lot of sourcing, and it will probably take 10 hours to go through all the selections tomorrow. While I only got home at 8pm tonight, tomorrow may be more like 10pm.! Crazy... I am going to buy a big ol' bottle of Chardonnay and a fruit pie on Friday, and soak in the tub while Stephan mingles with his co-workers at the pub...in hounour of their departing manager.

I finally received the fruit of my labour today, which means that I can now ride the train without dipping into my over-draft...my bicycle blew a flat tyre! Luckily it was only on a leisure ride to Woking park, and not somewhere along the 7 miles between here and Innova.

And really, They Might be Giants just sum everything: "He wants a shoe horn (the kind with teeth), because he knows there's no such thing."