Canal Tribute
Mood:  hungry
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
I think Stephen has said enough on the cinema topic, so I instead want to post a few canal pictures, b/c frankly the canal is beautiful in spring. I failed to capture the 1/4 mile blanket of purple rhododenrons, which shed their petals into the water, making me half expect to see Sebastian and the Little Mermaid cutting through the water on the way to sing "Kiss De Girl" (if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're not missing anyting).

In addition to the new flowers, there are also new water fowl:

I used to love to see Herons standing on the tow path staring into the water, until I learned that they are looking for little duckies and ugly swanling to snatch & kill.

I think this one section of the canal is not used very much. Actually now that I think about it, it's not surprising the canal boats are chosing NOT to come to Woking Town. But the result of the heat + the locks never opening, results in this miracle of nature:

And finally, just messing around with photo editor:

Well Stephen is just finishing an evening shift, and so another working week begins...expect that I am taking holidy Wed/Thurs/Fri & next Mon/Tues. so I will have LOTS of TIME for BLOGGING!

I hope our dear readers have also made exciting summer holiday plans.

Oh, and nb: Stephen graduates and becomes an MA on 13 July, but due to the Uni's lack of communication re: the ceremony & that it will cost lots of $$ & that ROYAL HOLLOWAY IS A BUSINESS & NOT A REAL ACADEMIC INSTITUTION, means that it will be humiliating to participate in that charade, alongside narrowminded greedy, lazy, and selfish professors.

Ok.....god it feels good to rant... Ok, but instead we are having an alternative celebration, seeing as it's also my birthday...but exactly HOW we will spend the day is still a secret from Stephen, shhhhh

Stephen goes on a tirade. Part 1
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Stephen Says
I know this is a re-tread of an old subject but what the fuck is up with U.K. cinemas???

Gentle reader, you may recall a few months ago that either E or myself complained bitterly about the fact that the cinemas over here have reserved seating and how ludicrous it was. Furthermore, it was pointed out to us that it’s like this in Sweden & all across Europe. Well, All I can say is WTF?!

This tirade begins sometime last week when a resident at Snowdon and I went out to see Batman Begins in the afternoon. While buying the ticket, we were asked “Where do you want to sit? Front, middle or back?” Like most people, we said “Middle.” Upon entering the cinema (You know, the giant, 15, 000 seat variety), we saw that there was less than a dozen people scattered about the place. So we decided to sit in the front row. And then, 5 minutes into the film, some dumb-ass father shows up with 4 boys and informs us that we’re n his seat. In a massive theatre, less than 5% full, we were asked to move because we were sitting in his seat. So we moved. To a better spot and this fool (Whose mobile kept going off during the film) sat with his boys in the front row to the left of the screen. He never even thought to move a little bit to the right just to get a better view of the screen. Obey the ticket.

Now, I know that there’s a very real concern about the so-called nanny-state in this country and, to a large extent, I think that these concerns are truly valid. But when you start putting the bureaucracy of a ticket over your common sense, maybe you do, indeed need the nanny-state to look after you. After all, look at North America where there is (brace yourself) no assigned seating when going to the movies. In North America the crime rate is up, random violence, drive by shootings. I’m sure some wanker from the Conservative party could extricate a poll from his cavernous backside that categorically proves that “the gratuitous and anarchic use of unassigned seating for the viewing of cinematic moving pictures in a cinematic moving picture venue (hereby referred to as a ‘cinema.’) clearly shows a rise in blood pressure, drop in overall viewing pleasure and increased propensity for violence. It is thereby that I propose a committee of committees to look into this further and write a report on said subject. Until this time, we shall persist with the tradition of assigned seating in this ‘cinema,’ to ensure to proper and continuing function or our great society.”

Or something like that.

Anyway, here’s the whole point of what I’m trying to get to:

Elisabeth and I went to see Sin City last night. We were asked where we wanted to sit – front, middle or back. Like most people, we said ‘middle.’ We went into the theatre only to discover that Sin City was showing in the tiny “last weekend or bust” cinema with only 10 rows. Our tickets: F10 & F11.

1st rule of common sense when you’re going to use assigned seating in a cinema: Turn the lights on so that you can actually see the damn seat numbers. Of course they didn’t, so we just found the F section and sat in 2 random seats because I (unlike everyone else in the theatre) don’t gain a lot of pleasure at stooping over and putting my nose 1 inch away from a movie seat to try and see where I’m trying to sit. Note to guys taking a girl on a date: It’s impossible to look remotely cool doing this so don’t even try.

The other thing is that everyone says that they want to sit in the middle of the theatre. So you end up with a dense pocket of people all squished together with the entire front & back sections empty. Add that to the fact that the theatre ticket seller (…ability to use language draining…) is a dumb-ass and assigns people to sit right next to each other, no one has any person space. Now I’ve heard of these mythical beings called ‘teenagers’ who like to go on ‘dates.’ During this bizarre mating ritual, they like to have a bit of privacy but, thank to the genius of assigned seating and idiocy of ticket sellers, there is no privacy allowed. Is this the sinister plan of the Religious Right??? Ah, the seer brilliance of it!!!

Okay, so the theatre is now full; I’ve been asked to move because some chap insists “This has to be me spot – it’s an aisle seat.” And the light go out. But there are still the later-comers & stragglers who are still searching for their damn assigned seat, making entire rows stand up so that they can make their way to their assigned spot. Morons all of them. Just sit down in one of the empty rows. It does not matter. It’s a movie, after all. ARG!

I’m tired and I’m out of coffee. E Is just as irate as I am about all this and I haven’t even gotten into the shenanigans surrounding the previews & commercials before the film started. The fact that no one seemed to ‘get’ Sin City as being a comic book put on film. The way that everyone was too embarrassed to react (read: laugh) to scenes in the movie but felt comfortable enough to giggle at a fucking commercial. The abominable behaviour that took place at the close of the film. I’ll let her continue this parade of tirade if she so wishes.

It’s highly unlikely that E&I will be going to the movies again. The long & the short of it is that we enjoy the privacy & intimacy of watching a DVD at home over the cinema-going experience of bottled up emotions and anal-retention. Until Land of the Dead comes out. I gotta see that one in the theatre!

A Question
Topic: Stephen Says
So what do you do when the movie that you want to see isn't playing until after dinner and Woking is a sea of chavs, yobs, families, children, teens, pre-teens, old men, bums, assorted scum, single mothers, old ladies in wheelchairs running over the ankles of young ladies, football hooligans, trendoids, yuppies, sales assistants, incompitant saturday staff, cockney fruit sellers & a mysterious David Suzuki lookalike that's been following you and your wife around for the last two days?

Yup, head home and open a bottle of Enest & Julio Gallo's Sycamore Canyon California cabernet sauvignon and bring on the evening!

Pooped no more
Now Playing: Elisabeth doing Chopin
Topic: Stephen Says
Yummy, yummy, dinner was pretty fantastic last night. The new place is no Don Bennis but it had a 'band' (two guys and a drum machine) playing italian songs mixed in with the occasional 'classic'. Yes, they did sing Layla.

We picked up some wine on the way home and planned to just chill out & watch Mash but I wound up asleep with my head in Elisabeth's lap.

There's a bunch of new guys living below us. E figures they're just-graduated students. Crappy pop music, masquerading as alternative gets played loudly, lots of joints getting smoked in the evening, etc. At least they're not like Yobbo & his girl or Y.I.T. and his vaious pregnant girlfriends. That, we would not be able to take. Elisabeth's started screaming out the window at them. Students living below us is amusing and reminds us that yes, some people around here know how to relax in a way that is not loud, obnoxious and public. Let's hear it for pot-heads!

Hey nonny no, it's off to see Sin City we go.

This title has nothing to do with the post below it
Topic: Stephen Says
Whee, it's Friday & E&I are both off tomorrow. We're off to our second favorite Restauranto Italliano tonight for din-dins. Plus booze. It's la Fete Nationale, after all and what better way than to celebrate a pointless holiday that's celebrated on the other side of the earth, than to beat your liver to death like it's a rat in your basement.

The 'heat' wave over here has come to a dramatic end with thunder & lightning storms and lightning strikes on the main stage of the Glastonbury festival.

Elisabeth's wounds are healing slowly. Her arms no longer look too bad. Just kind of like how Jesus looked in The Passion of the Christ. At least I assume they do - I can't bother to waste my time on that right-wing pap; bring on my DVD's of M*A*S*H season 3!

Kudos to Markus Barkus & Dr. J for making a very good and correct and holy decision concerning their Xmas plans.

G'night!

just stuff
Now Playing: Elisabeth playing the piano
Topic: Stephen Says
You know, I'd blog a heck of alot more if I wasn't working 13 hour days. Like the one I did today. Or the one I'm going to do tomorrow. Or the one I did before. And the one I'm going to do after.

E took a header off her bike by the canal today and has some terribly sexy road rash on her arms & palms and her thigh is turning, oh, lets say... mauve. It'll be black this time tomorrow.

So, like the Fraggles, we're drinking our cares away. Well, sorta like the Fraggles.

Busy, busy, busy, light blogging, etc...

PS- according to Angelfire's top 100 blogs, we're #5. Got figure. That means that there are 5 people even lamer than us and 20,000,000 less lame. LiveJournal, Eff-off. At least until we need you, that is.

Toodleoo!

Gratuitous Linkage
Now Playing: See below but add a pneumatic drill off in the distance
Topic: Stephen Says
CLICK HERE.

It's a pretty amusing blog, period, and, while the 1st 3rd might not make too much sense unless you've been following the minutiae of his life, when he starts ranting about Air Canada, well, um, yeah, it's true.

Oh, and light blogging for he next few days - Very busy.

Just some stuff
Now Playing: the clatter of the train, the um of the fan, the fat blow-hard on the radio ranting in his wheezy, flinty voice
Topic: Stephen Says
You know, I really should type ‘light blogging for the next few days’ at the top of every blog entry that I do, because that usually means that there will be some actual blogging going on, instead of dead silence. So, um, anyway, light blogging over the next few days – Very busy over here.

Over on my end of the stick, I’m still really enjoying my job. Now that the inspection is over and the various problems with residents is over, it’s actually quite relaxing: Giving out medication, chatting to people, organizing activities, blah, blah, blah. By my figuring, I’m working 5 weeks in terms of hours for every four weeks of actual time. Make sense? The main problem is the degree to which we’re massively understaffed but the amount of freely available overtime is very nice for my wallet as we’ll should be able to get out of debt almost as quickly as Elisabeth is building it up. And yeah, she will kill me for that comment but, Jesus, do you know how much that piano cost?!?

As for England, well, it’s hot. But I won’t complain, since I understand that Mtl & T-dot are, of course, much hotter and much more humid (Show offs!). The significant advancement in my overall maturity is that I’ve gone & bought myself shorts. Willingly. Happily without argument. The big test is today when I hit Guildford for a new pair of shoes. Baby steps. Baby steps.

Anywho, it’s my day off & I’m only starting my second cup of coffee (I need 3 to function at above 75% capacity) so I’m not fully together. Hoping that there’s a long promised thunderstorm soon so that the humidity will be cut. I’m slowly melting. Oh, and light blogging for the next few days – Very busy over here.

The Cotton Anniversary
Mood:  a-ok
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Since this past Tuesday, Stephen & I have been married for 2 years!!

And only after 2 years of marriage have we begun to do anything close to a honeymoon...(we had no money in Paris...)

We booked at lastminute.com...and got a good deal on a 5 star hotel deluxe room with a river view.

And on closer inspection:

In short, the view was stunning. Especially at night...cor blimey govna'

When we arrived, the room was not ready. But the hotel gave us a sign that our marriage was truly meant to be: complementary drinks at the bar....And what a bar! There was a quiet garden with heating lamps (and yes, we needed them) a trickling fountain, flowers, etc... very relaxing. And relax we did with the help of Organic chardonnay & Jack Daniels. Bliss.

Once the room was ready we were hungry & left to walk through the tourist infested streets of covent garden & soho. We found a laid-back place called Soho Pizzeria (I wonder why this caught Stephen's eye). We ate pizzas to rival that of Don Benis (sorry Mr. Beni...).

Afterwords, we felt we had cultured ourselves enough, and reverted back into our chav-y ways and went to Tescos to buy cheap Cuvee, wine and cookies.

Back at the hotel we watched TV (a big night out, we know, we know!). I saw Big Brother for the first time. Who Wants to Be A Millionaire was also just the ticket. So we drank cheap wine & ate cookies in bed watching the boob tube..how romatic are we??

In the morning Stephen made and drank every complementary tea & coffee. Yes, even the decaff...it was such a fancy coffee maker. Very hard to resist.

We then walked to a much more peaceful & deserted Covent Garden for breakfast, where we found a little terraced joint called the Rock Garden. Service was slow, but it was the best English breakfast we'd had.

After strolling through the streets, we ended up at the Saatchi gallery, and actually paid to go inside. Big mistake...all the art seemed hyped to make you think "gosh, how disturbing..." But after being married to a man who has perfected the art of drawing disturbing monsters and people, nothing Saatchi had to offer could compare with what's drawn on our pink table. That is, except for a room half-filled with engine oil. You have to read a warning before you enter, and there is a steel runway with walls that come up to your chest that are holding back the oil. Very cool, and very smelly.

But just to prove that our weekend was indeed exceptional, here is a picture of...OH MY GOD!!! IS THAT A BLUE SKY IN LONDON???!!!

Apocalypse!
Topic: Stephen Says
Yes, yes, yes at long last we saw it! And yeah, it rocked. Almost too much of a movie to take in in one viewing. And if you haven't seen all three season (plus special), then you'll probably find yourself just sitting there wondering when they'll get around to telling a joke.

Click here you bums who have high speed/ broadband internet for more weirdness.

It's one of these weird films that both Elisabeth and I would happily go back to the theatre to see a second time. It's a terrible shame that there's pretty much a 0% chance of the movie (let alone the show) getting released in North America.

Bring on December! E&I have already booked tickes to see The League's Christmas show...

"Look! I made a brown fish."