Delicious, delicious food
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The morning trains going by
Topic: Stephen Says
I just want to say that chefs should be the most popular people in the universe. Our meal last night was fantastic and Elisabeth stopped being vegetarian so that she could eat venison shish-kabobs & ostrich steak. Oh, and Best Chocolate Mousse Ever.

So now we're fat & I've got to do a sleep in at work tonight. I will be returning to the would of sanity tomorrow afternoon. Yikes!

Where did all the blogging go?
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: Elisabeth playing the piano
Topic: Stephen Says
So this is me this morning: "You know, since getting back from Sweden, We haven't been blogging that much. And actually, when I say 'we' I mean 'me.'" And then Elisabeth goes "That's because you've been working like shit."

And I suppose I have, really. So much so that on Friday I twice called the residence "home." Yesterday I called Elisabeth "mom" but I'd prefer not to talk about that. This week is my mad week with two sleep ins and the working weekend but when I say working weekend, it's actually alot of sitting out in the garden, chatting to the residents and, weather permitting, having a barbeque.

We went to a very nice luncheon yesterday at the house of a friend of, oh never mind, it's going to be far too complicated to explain the relationship. Anyway, it was a very traditional British affair with aperitifs, brandy after lunch, conversations in the drawing room, a geriatric beagle & kids running around with tiny mallets. It wasn't so much Great Gatsby as it was Clue (Or Cluedo in this country) but alas I'd forgotten to bring my monocole so I was more Ms. Scarlett than Colonel Mustard.

What with all this hard work, I haven't had that much time to do laundry and have been complaining about a lack of appropriate trousers for the last few days. Elisabeth told me to look in the closet and whoops, there are all the clothes I washed last week and forgot to put away.

Elisabeth's been pretty stressed out and feeling down about her job so last night, once we'd gotten back from the lunch, we tried to re-capture to good ol' days when we were broke with nothing to do to raise her spirits (It made sense at the time). One fast and furious game of Monopoly (Which she creamed me at), some spinache & gruyere pizzas, some vino (A very nice South African pinotage) and two and a quarter hours of Queen later, she was quite a bit more cheery.

The good news is that the bookstore will be hiring around the time when she's leaving her company and the two of us agree that it might be fun for her to give it a shot. She already knows the people and, what with the amount of travelling & unpaid overtime she does, the bookstores salary will effectively earn her the same salary PLUS give us 30% off books (Although it seems that my staff discount still applies, even though I haven't been staff there for almost 4 months...)

And speaking of books, after Harry Potter and another girly fantasy book (Tad Williams' War of the Flowers), I'm enjoying some good ol' hard boiled right-wing spy thrillers. On my bedside shelf is Andy McNab's Bravo Two Zero - a 'harrowing' true-life account of the SAS in action during the 1st Gulf War by one of the most decorated soldiers of recent memory.

And in my bed is the crushed remains of a terrifically large spider that woke me up last night because it was crawling on me. Elisabeth was thrown into the usual panic that always seems uncharacteristic of her and is now explaining her reaction as a 'surreal moment.' That's sort of like calling what Bush did to Iraq as a 'slight case of overbombing.'

10 points if you can tell me which 80's goth band that phrase is from.

This afternoon we're off to the South African caterer's house where we've been invited to eat her left overs from this weeks catering. We can't wait. Delicious, delicious food here we come!

Big Frank's Deep Pink
Topic: Stephen Says
is the name of the wine we're drinking tonight. On the back label it is written:

"Why do we bother having back labels? I'm fed up with writing the normal pile of rubbish. Yes, we picked it when the grapes were ripe. Yes, we fermented it at low temperatures. Yes, it's great with fish, barbecues and red meats. My wife likes it with chocolate mousse... but that's her problem. I'm afraid the only way to decide if you like my Deep Pink is to buy a bottle, take it home, pull out the cork and drink it.

"What you drink is what you get.

"Questions? See our web-site www.bigfranksred.com"

I ain't no friend of Jack's
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: Devo - Greatest Hits
Topic: Stephen Says
Alright, I told them - I like Jack Daniels but I can't be held responsible for my actions because they'd been forwarned and, under His influence, my drunken behaviour is worse than usual. And it was.

I escaped with a skinned knee & elbow, some pretty nasty bruises on my thighs and a painful bump on the back of my head. Others weren't so lucky and had to go to the doctor the next day and were diagnosed with whiplash, torn muscles & compressed nerves. And sadly, this was all before we got to the club.

I'm actually quite embarassed by my behaviour. But at least I didn't make the pizza delivery guy sit on the hall floorway and start lecturing him about ... whatever was rattling around in my brain at that very minute.

And sadly there are pictures that I will make sure never see the light of day.

This was all down in Brighton, mind, and it's a beautiful town. It's got a huge Dr. Who exhibition and it's always sunny. It's alot like how you think England is if you live in North america except that it's hot & sunny. And beachy.

I don't even remember the hours that I spent at the club, other than spilling a beer and being led around the dance floor and dancing. I have a nasty suspicion that I was just sitting in a dark corner spaced out and dribbling.

Got home and talked about the new Harry Potter book until 4AM and fell asleep on the couch.

Got back to the flat in time for a quick shower & bite to eat before I was back at work doing my sleep in where I was lulled to sleep by 11PM by Britney Spears Redneck Roots on TV.

Last night, though, I think E got a bit of hers back by going to the Bridge Barn pub with some friends. This was the site of my first 'MACA night out' and I'm surprised that she was willing to show her face there again.

For me tonight: D&D and an extra early day tomorrow but, if I've read the tea leaves properly, I should be reunited with my wife tonight if I don't get back too late.

Nope, no title for this sucka
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: Whistlin' the Buckaroo Banzai song
Topic: Stephen Says
No much agoin' on this Weekend. Me: work, work, work and Elisabeth has renamed herself Delia and baked bread, made super-duper merangues, and cooked up a storm. All this snacking has made me gain weight. E points out that my nipples have become misshapen thanks to my weight gain (Yikes!). I will be cutting back on snacks and booze (the prime offender) soon.

Ish.

Sadly, I am going to subject Elisabeth to another husbandless week. Tomorrow night I'm going clubbing in Brighton with my co-workers. Certain staff have already voiced alarm and concern that I may end up doing a repeat performance to the last staff outting and start hitting people. I am promising to be well behaved.

Then on Tuesday I'm doing a sleep in and Wednesday is a D&D night.

We're getting our Canada itinary set up and, with luck, we'll have it before the weekend.

More Canal Blogging!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Bjork: Greatest Hits
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
We've been working...sleeping...and eating...but here's some more canal pix to look at until we actually do something blog-worthy!

This coming weekend Stephen works both Sat & Sun, so you might be looking at these pictures for a while!

SMell-ya later...E

Oh where or where could my wedding man gone?
Mood:  sad
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Wail...wah...Stephen's doing a sleep-in tonight. Tomorrow he works until 4pm & then plays D&D. No see Stephen until Wednesday! Makes Lisabef a sad girl :(

So Stephen thought he was irritated on Friday when he wrote the last blog-entry. Boy did he not realize how much worse things were to get that night. I went out drinking with co-workers, had dinner & more wine, then to a cocktail lounge & came home a right ol' mess. We fought, blah blah, it's all my fault because I go crazy when hard liquour hits me, yah yah....anyway, I got up in the middle of the night to get some squash b/c I was dehydrated, and what do I do? "Oh my God...I just stepped on your glasses!" And I wonder why I'm not going to see Stephen for a couple of days...(sheepish=Lisabef).

But the light of day sorted things out & Stephen sent his glasses to try to be repaired to stall for time as his insurance coverage will kick in late this week. So for the next 7 days, he is a blind ol' fart.

On Sunday we trained it down to Highcliffe, Dorset to see Stephen's Nain. We had a lovely lunch & strolled along the beach. It was a gorgeous day & could very clearly see the Isle of Wight & the Needles. Ice cream was enjoyed by the seaside...real Dorest cream too!! Don't forget the 99 flake...

Now it's the working week...and Stephen will be working this coming weekend...so I've got plenty of time to finish reading The Corrections for the 2nd time...it just gets better & better...

Cheerio!

Mayoral Mayhem!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Grand Buffet - The Trilogy of Terror 3 EP's
Topic: Stephen Says
In September it's the annual review. An opportunity for the residence to show off it's stuff to head office & throw a really good party for staff & residents alike. I'm one of the two in charge of setting the day up. Amongst those invited are our local MP and mayor. I mean Mayor.

They're both coming. But, with the mayor's presence comes a series or rules UK style. Here are my favorites and, it should not need to be said, these are all real:

(And keep in mind this is a short-term rehab for people with mental & emotional health problems with an increasing focus on those from a forensic background.)

(Also keep in mind that it's a pretty relaxed and casual environment so long as everyone behaves. As a result, to an outsider, what is going on may appear chaotic, offensive, even more chaotic and extremely offensive. But it gets results, so, as the great "Bob" Dobbs would say, 'fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.'

Note 2: Precedence:
"Except in the presence of a Member of the Royal Family, or the Lord Lieutenant of Surrey, the Mayor must always take precedence within the Borough. Unless in the Chair, the Mayor is to be seated on the immediate right of the chairman or other person pending. The Mayoress should be seated on the left of the Chairman."

Note 6: Mode of Address:
"It is customary to address the Mayor as "Mr. Mayor" or "Your Worship" and to refer to him in the third person as "His Worship the Mayor".(sic) Letters should be addressed to "The Worshipful the Mayor".(sic) [Aside: My letter to him was addressed to "Hello."] The Mayoress is addressed as "Madam Mayoress"."(sic)

Note 9: Lunches/Dinners/Suppers [Is there a difference???], etc.:
"The Mayor should be seated on the Chairman's right (unless the Lord Lieutenant of Surrey be present, in which case the Mayor should be on the left of the Chairman).

"When the Mayoress accompanies the Mayor, her seat should be on the Chairman's left, except when the Mayor sits on the Chairman's left, in which case the Mayoress should sit on the Mayor's left.

"When the Mayoress is attending unaccompanied by the Mayor, her seat should be in the position indicated above for the Mayor."

Anyway, I have used my authority to delegate the resposibility for dealing with the Mayor to someone else.

blah blah blah
Topic: Stephen Says
So it's been exactly 4 weeks since the London Bombs (tm))(c) and 2 weeks since the Failed London Bombings (tm)(c) and the British police is making their Presence Felt (tm)(c) today by piling all their forces onto the whole country's public transport system. Of course, this has been met with great fanfare and news coverage so you're 100% guaranteed that only the most idiotic fool of a terrorist would even try to do anything today.

Of course, the argument is made that this is a jester (Deliberately ironic & snarky spelling mistake) to reassure people who take public transport that for this one and only day, the whole system will be terrorist-free. And that they can feel comforted that, in a few weeks, when the hoo-hah has died down and there are no more police on the transit system, they might have the opportunity to get blown up all over again.

And the way to reassure people in War on Terrorism (tm)(c) style is to make sure that your police are carrying the biggest, baddest heavy machine guns in almost all of Britain painted a mat coal black for extra effect.

And an even better way to reassure the public is to LOCK ALL THE TOILETS AT HASLEMERE STATION FOR THIS ONE DAY ONLY. As I discovered today. Oh, and the village of Haslemere is about as important to the functioning of the United Kindom as Kamloops is to Canada. So naturally, you understand why some mad jihadist would wat to plant a bomb in one of the station's crappers.

On a serious note, please read Ted Rall's newest op-ed piece. If you haven't added his weekly articls to your must-read favorites list, I'm very disappointed in you.

Don't Tempt Fate
Topic: Stephen Says
Pooped.
It was supposed to be my slack week but I covered for a co-worker and did a sleep in and then I spent today running all over Surrey which, while it was very enjoyable has pooped me out. So yeah, 30 straight hours of work.

On Sunday that pesky co-worker with whom I took the 1st aid course and I decided to horse around with another employee and pracise what we'd learned - bandage his head, put his arm in slings, bandage broken fingers, lots of ha ha hee hee.

Then into the office comes one of the project's residents, shaking, confused, unable to speak clearly. He pulls up his trouser legs and blood is pouring from both shins. Turns out he'd had a seizure in town, been sick and cut his legs open. First aiders to the rescue, we followed the book precisely (It had only been just over 24 hours since we'd both gotten 100% on our practical exams) and things were sorted out.

Anyway, the weirdest thing was the way in which something very funny turned so serious. And then I went home. Thank goodness, because it meant that I didn't have to fill out all of the incident reports. In quadruplicate.