World Cup 2006 Topic: Stephen Says
Want to know what Matterazzi(sp?) said to Zidane(sp?) to make him flip out like that? "Your wife's a lesbian! A lesbian!" (Let's hear it for obscure comedic references from the movie Slap Shot.)
Anyway, France deserved to win until Zidane turned into a big ol' jerk and now I'm glad they lost.
The Italians are partying it up in Woking and all I can hear from the flat is cheering & cars honking their horns but the pub was weirdly quiet. World Cup is definitely better in Canada compared to Woking unless you're a chav cheering on Ing-er-lund during the preliminaries.
Ah well, there's always the Euro Cup in two years...
10 days in America Now Playing: Fatz Cafe's theme song Topic: Stephen Says
Things I learned on my trip to America:
1) When you’re flying from Cleveland to Charlotte, don’t make fun of goofy Southern accents because the well-dressed businessman next to you will have an even goofier accent than anything that you can muster. (Though, ironically, no one seems to mind that you’re talking in a fake southern accent. Let’s hear it for assimilation!)
2) Don’t mess with the Department of Homeland Security or U.S. customs in general. Not only will they do a really thorough and uncompromising job in order to make you feel safe, keep their country secure and keep that niggling fear of terrorism alive in the back of your mind, they also don’t mind if you give their camera a big goofy grin after they’ve finished fingerprinting you and are taking your mug shot. Though they’ll cut the locks off your bag, search it they will leave a ‘compliments of…’ chitty inside your suitcase.
3) You can say hello to and make small chat with anyone. In fact, it’s expected. Unlike in England where you’ll be regarded as a crazy. In fact, after dining at the Cracker Barrel, I had a word-for-word identical conversation with a lady that the U.S. guide book that Elisabeth got for me said I would.
4) As a whole, the United States is a very hot country. I mean really, really hot. Hotter than I can handle.
5) On top of being hot, it’s so humid that it’s too humid. Did I mention how hot it was?
6) Going to a great-big (By my standards) southern evangelical church makes me feel like an alien. Or at least newly immigrated Muslim from Pakistan who is made to attend a church service. Except that I speak the language fluently and am technically the same faith.
7) In fact, the sheer bombardment of religion in the South is so overwhelming that it’s easy to assume that you’re opinion of how much religion is out there is correct. Only it only actually accounts for about 5% of the total religion that is very politely and sincerely fed to everyone in the South every day of their life. The local Charlotte ‘news’paper had a section devoted to extreme Christian views as a matter of course.
8) Newspapers in America contain no actual news. And if they do, contain what appears to be a news story then it’ll be cleverly written so as to only contain one side of the story so that people mistake ‘opinion’ as news.
9) It really sucks to be a vegetarian if you don’t live in a city. It must really suck to be any kind of gourmet in the south as well. There must be more to life than fried food and salads are not a suitable vegetarian alternative.
10) Never ever, under any circumstances, eat at Fatz Cafe.
Actually, that should be point number 1. And I can’t really think of any more snark so I’ll stop there. The trip was, in fact, very nice, fun and chilled out and it was a real pity that we had to leave when we did. Even though I’d reached the limits of spending family time with people, it was still very sad to leave.
Back in Woking, we’re taking advantage of the Italian market that’s rolled into town and our bodies are thanking us generously for starting them back on that healthy organic diet. I have gained something akin to a million-billion pounds thanks to the bottomless pit of beer and was carted around with us all trip. So there’s going to be a massive anti-alcohol detox going on for us as well.
(I.e., we only got one bottle of wine for tonight to accompany our delicious Italian market meal. But you need red wine to go with Italian food so it’s not like it’s a failure on our part to control our alcohol intake, we’re just doing what needs to be done. It would be rude not to.)
It’s really nice to be back in England, actually. It’s nice to be in a multi-cultural society again . It’s nice to be able to get a paper and go to the Italian cafe for a coffee to relax. It’s nice to see that there has been progress with the construction near the town centre where the workmen have replaced the safety fence with a different safety fence.
It’s nice to be positive once in a while and not snark about how
11) Americans don’t know how to travel. Gatwick has its own wing devoted to clueless travelers how must have come to England in the first place, but have obviously forgotten how that happened because they’ll wander round getting angrier and angrier because they won’t stop and ask for help or, if they do, blame the person who is helping them’s accent for their confusion except that they’ve obviously spoken to English people while they’ve been here so one would think that they’ve learned to understand the language. You’ll also encounter petty air rage on the flight back to the U.K. that’s so petty it’s not worth even going into detail about.
Back Topic: Stephen Says
It took us 17 hours of travel time from Charlotte but we're home at last and the plants aren't dead. The jet lag doesn't seem so bad this time though we managed a 4 hour power nap as soon as we got through the door. It's nice to be home.
Aaaaaand we're outta here...
See y'all in 10 days or so. Here's Devo to keep you company while we're away. The song seems very appropriate at this juncture in time.
I really don't know what to make of this... Mood: happy Now Playing: Of Montreal - Sunlandic Twins...as usual... Topic: Stephen Says
Approaching the flat, two well dressed men get out of a car and buzz one of the apartments. I assume at first they're estate agents but as I get closer, I see that they're actually properly well dressed and not in the tacky estate agent garb plus silly spikey hair. One has a fancy camera with a long tele-photo lens.
As I approach, Main Guy says "Is flat 23 on the ground floor?"
"Definitely," says I.
"Are you sure?" he asks.
"Yes," I say and point out how the buzzers are designed to correspond to the locations of the flats.
"Do you know Mr. & Mrs. Phelps?" he asks.
"Nope," I say.
And then I go in. As I go up the steps, Tele-photo Lens very smoothly and quietly caught the door wih his foot, propping it open and is talking to Main Guy.
Hmmm, any clues? They actually seemed cooler & more collected than anyone who wears a suit in Woking deserves to be.
Anyhow, I'm done for 2 weeks thank God - who, of course, doesn't exist(Click here to get the joke) and just in time as far as I'm concerned. The past 3 weeks I've been at Burn-out Factor 6.5.
Suffy McStuff Stuff Mood: chillin' Topic: Stephen Says
It was a good weekend and a good trip to the wedding. Two hours to get there and 4 hours to get back. Why? Weee-eell, I don't know... but while we were stuck in traffic jams on the way back, Elisabeth noticed that, for about 2 miles, every car in the jam had exactly one person it.
The rest-stops were weird however, has anyone ever been to a normal rest stop? On the way up, the one we visited has some weird aura where all the men had receding hairlines and widows peaks only they'd cut the widows peak shorter than normal and gelled them forwards and... well, it was weird. The mens room was also odd. I've never seen so many men peeing in ove place and, for the 1/2 hour or so that we were at the rest stop, the flow on men into and out of the room never stopped.
The camping was good, the reception fantastic and here's a picture of E dancing sort-of with the groom:
(More pictures below... I know this one isn't the greatest but there's a definite lack of Elisabeth in those below.)
Anyway, it looks like my Cyberdog tie may not have survived it's inaugural night out so I've been all sensible and have bought a back-up outfit for next week. Jeeze, what's happened? I've now got two fancy-dress outfits. But I still don't own a suit, thank God!
Elisabeth's had a letter to the editor published in the Independent today but it's not on the website yet. A link will be posted when one is available.
Campy Mood: crushed out Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
We survived yet another night out with Stephen's co-workers. This time it was in celebration of Stephen's manager's wedding which took place in Castle Donnington, Derby. Around 2pm, 5 of us packed into a car with some beer & other refreshments and found our way up the crowded motorways to the tranquil Derby countryside. The wedding was held at this venue that must have been an old farm now turned into camping site/reception venue & pub. It was lovely, especially since the weather was very good.
We tried to find a pub where we could have dinner, but the "northerners" didn't seem too keen on us infiltrating their quite ways of life, so we bought some snacks at the supermarket and ate at the campsite. We were the only campers there...go figure.
The wedding reception was a lot of fun, the bride & groom looked very happy and there was plenty of pims and dancing to please everyone.
More merrimaking after the reception at our campsite until 5am, when the sun was very much awake. We left the site around 10am, and wound our way back through the cramped motorways to Surrey.
I've already had two naps, Stephen's in bed, and it's only 9 pm. I'll be joining him soon. Pictures will be posted tomorrow.
beep beep beep Mood: lazy Now Playing: Blondie - Denis Topic: Stephen Says
All I can say is 'Phew!' and that has nothing to do with the Americans getting lemonaded from the World Cup or Richard avoiding nominations in the Big Brother house.
Nope, I'm done for the week and E&I are off to Castle Donington tomorrow for a wedding/camping extraviganza. In fact, I'm pretty much done, period. I'm working Monday but I'm just super-numery so that I can get things sorted out for the trip to the States which means that I'm shedding stress much in the way that I'm shedding the hair on my head.
(And that's regardless to the fact that the Area Manager showed up today without warning to do a Quality Assesment of the service with me. Two hours later and I've got this splitting headache...)
I am however, having re-curring dreams/nightmares about going through airports & dealing with probelms inside an airport0like maze that's usually located in Berlin. Basically, my fear is that I won't be allowed into the States because I don't have a visa and my U.K. passport isn't Big Brother I mean machine readable and that my now massively expired Canadian passport won't be able to save the day.
Anyone got any ideas on the going rate to bribe a U.S. customs official?
Promise Keepers are idiots Mood: lazy Now Playing: Of Montreal - The Sunlandic Twins Topic: Stephen Says
And an editorial in the Independent proves it. Sucks that you need to pay to see it BUT...
The title: A ring of ignorance, hypocrisy and stupidity.
In a nushell: Promise Keeper rings actually sexualize pre-pubescent girls by making them hyper-aware of their sexuality and spreads false ideas and facts that, considering that 9 in 10 promise keepers don't actually keep the promise, damage young girls.
Good points: -re: promise rings: "There may be one or two mitigating factors here - religious fervour, a general sense of moral threat, fear of the modern world - but, in the end, sexual exhibitionism is the same, whether the boast is of promiscuity or of purity, it has no place among girls in their early teens."
-re: the sexism inherent in the idea: "Boys, mysteriously, seem to play little part in the scheme [of promise rings] ... perhaps many years hence, it can be solemnly handed to a husband."
-re: the poor thinking behind the idea: "It may be [promise ring 'inventer' Rev. Denny Pattyn] this man of God is unusually innocent or stupid, but even so, someone, perhaps one of the teenagers he cares so much about, should surely have taken him aside to explain that a girl wearing a virginity ring on her finger will not think less about sex, but more; its presence sexualizes her everyday life."
Anyway, there's more but E's taken the paper to bed with her and if you want to read more, you can pay a pound ($2.10 CDN, $1.80USD).
...
Stupid Angelfire, POST MY ENTRY... Boy, once we move back to Canaduh & this blog has run its course, I can't freakin' wait 'till we move over to Blogger. Angelfire, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!
Typical Mood: irritated Topic: Stephen Says
Typical Sunday: I went to work (Took the bike!), did the accounts (Nearly balanced them!), bought my manager wedding presents from the staff, held a BBQ at work, came home, opened a bottle of red wine and spilled my 1st glass all over our curtains. Our white curtains.
Much stress ensues as we soak the bloody thing in salt water, spray them with stain removed, bung them in the washing machine with so much laundry detergent, soap suds are leaking from its cracks and... hopefully that will do the trick. Otherwise it's Bleach City for them tomorrow.
Why does wine taste so good but stain so bad?
And, of course, we're totally broke what with this trip to the States coming up (Interesting factiod: We've spent (thus far) 1/2 of the total cost of our own wedding to make this trip.) and, what with another wedding to attend next Friday, the ballet to attend tomorrow, my Nain to visit on Tuesday, it's like eek! Is this Woking or Englefield Green? So yeah, stress levels are a little high.
Elisabeth's inheritannce couldn't come at a better time. She's in the process of sorting out how much will go to paying off debts, long-term-high-interesting the rest of it, sorting out a standing order and figuring out how much of our salaries we can set aside to save-up, etc. All so that when we go back to Canada, we don't have to deal with the same shit that we had to deal with here. Anyone know any mental health charities in the Toronto area that are hiring?
Speaking of which, I may not be a deputy manager for much longer. You see, I need to take a test to qualify. And the old DPM who is now the PM needs to take a test to qualify as a project manager. And if he doesn't pass, he get's sent back to my position which means that I get sent back to my old position. Likewise if I fail my test. I thought I was through with tests but whatever, we've decided to put all this off until after he's back from his honeymoon and I'm back from my whatever and we're both (in theory) rested. With luck ah, getting busy...phone ringing... need to stop blogging.
happy
chillin'
crushed out
lazy
irritated