OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD AHHH IT'S THE APOCALYPSE
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: BBC radio madness coming live from Westminister
Bless the British. E&I have always felt that the only thing that could ever get a Brit excited is football. But woah, fox hunting! Riots outside Westminster! Old conservatives in Burburry jackets being beaten by bobbies! Blood gushing from ears! The house of commons being invaded!

Man-o-man, if it wasn't so goofy it would be pathetic. >sigh< I suspect that if my family were to read this I'd be excommunicated but seriously, my official position is this: A Japanese tourist on the side of the road taking pictures of the shenanigans thinking 'wait'll I show these to the folks back home. They won't believe it!'

Oops - this just in while I was running the spell checker: 7 people have been arrested over this apocalyptic insanity.

WTF? - Job fairs
Mood:  d'oh
Now Playing: BBC World News
**Rant warning - filthy language is likely to ensue.

So this is me getting frustrated and bored with unemployment. My mind harkens back to a song lyric "Successful unemployment is more challenging than having a job." Ain't that the truth, brother. I shaved, trimmed my sideburns, gelled my hair, removed any offensive piercings, threw on my nice shirt, strapped on a tie and headed for the Woking job fair after dropping off some applications I'd filled out yesterday.

Wow, Stephen thinks, the H.G. Wells Center is swanky. Polished old wood floors, shiny steel fixtures, Safe but elegant art prints, a chi-chi secratery to point you in the right direction. Good thing I dressed up, I thought. This is my ticket to the big time!

(I'm realizing that Iceberg Slim's Pimp writing style is rubbing off on me - apologies.)

Upon entering, I realized I'd made a terrible mistake. Little did I know that proper attire for the job fair was your team's football jersey, sneakers, a toque (Which E&I call condom hats - long story) and a pair of eyes that say 'I smoked a bowl 1/2 an hour ago.' >sigh< I thought all this would give me a leg up except that 50% of the stalls were all the employment agencies that took my CV last week and don't return my calls. I don't want to say that all employment agencies are useless; all but 1 are.

The other 45% of the stalls were fat yobbos in wool turtlenecks eating the candy in the little baskets that every stall had in order to entice you in (I admit that I was tempted by a tasty red lollipop). They were looking to hire drivers. i.e., people who want to drive delivery vans around and deliver pizza, kebabs, McChinese food and curries in vehicules I'm not qualified to drive.

As I left, the last stall caught my eye - The British army was here. How fitting, perhaps I should join the army. After all, for most of the yobbos skulking around the hall, wondering when they could suck down their next pint of cider, this is the job most appropriate for them - drinking and getting paid to run around terrorizing the minorities they profess to hate over here.

Instead I headed back to the mall and dropped my CV off at a jewlery store; this job, at least, will involve dressing in something a bit more elegant than in something I'd be likely to sleep in. Then off to the market for farm fresh peppers and onions.

As I was heading back, something that had been niggling away at the back of my skull all morning suddenly became clear: There weren't even any rides at the fair!

What's good for the goose...
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Birds chirping
When confronted by things in England that are totally backward to other Western countries (Such as their resistance to putting flouride in the water because 'there's no prooven link that it actually does anything... and might actually be a danger to our bodies') we often do this sarcastic routine that goes like this: "Well, if it worked 100 years ago, it's got to still work today. After all, nothing's changed in the last hundred years."

So today on the BBC, it looks like they're going to officially, 100%, no matter what, ban fox hunting (With dogs, going into effect 2 years from now, with the possibility of the ban being overturned during that time.). Naturally, people are UP IN ARMS about this. The pro-fox hunting guy on the radio today made his point on the necessity of fox hunting based on the structure of the feudal system in 1100AD. The presenter pointed out that hisinformation applied to situations 900 years ago and the man replied (I kid you not) "I don't think much has changed since then."

Today's mission: Try to find one thing that's changed in the last 900 years. I think you'll find it's trickier than you think!

Living in England doesn't change you, except...

Buh?
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Thump thump from whatever the guy downstairs is playing
'Buh?' pretty much sums up this weekend. Yep, we did a big fat zero. Lessee...

Yesterday: A trip to the library and lots of reading. Elisabeth got out a book on etiquette and manners and we were pleasantly surprised to discover that we actually know what we're doing when it comes to this kind of thing. And how many people who think they do actually don't. I finished up Douglas Coupland's Girlfriend in a Coma and was reminded by how, as a writer, he irritates me so now I'm reading a book about what it's like to be a pimp. It's called Pimp and written my a dude named Iceberg slim with an introduction by Ice T so you know it's legit. It's also got a glossary of 'pimp' terms which is handy. ... If our money troubles over here keep persisting, I know a way to book me some scratch.

Today: We went on a tour of the local theatre where Jack the Ripper's going to play and went to Carters Steam Fair. Those of you who've been following this web site might remember the fun we had there last year in Englefield Green on the bumper cars (Dadgem's in England) and how Elisabeth flirted with one of the carneys. Well, that same damn carney was there this year and, low and behold, who starts taking pictures of him? Hmmm... I made sure they were all deleted post haste... We were also good and resisted the urge to spend money. So instead we headed home where Elisabeth baked some cakes and melted part of the carpet.

A query
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Bob Marley - One Love
I know that I'm not supposed to get all political over here, but it's the anniversary of the Sept. 11th attacks in New York and there's barely a peep in the news. Is it like that in North America as well? Basically what I'm getting at is, has Bush so squandered the international outpouring of grief and support three years ago that he can't even mention "the worst attack on U.S. soil since Peal Harbor?" (In quotations because I'm sure someone has patented that term so that they can make a quick buck out of it)

Just a depressing thought.

-Stephen singing lets get together an we'll fell alright, out.

Update:
I just checked out al Jazeera and according to this story, the New York and New Jersey Port Authorities are celerbating by suing the saudi Government for 7 billion dollars. Happy anniversary!

Cough up the Doh!
Mood:  mischievious
Now Playing: The Breeders--Last Splash
Ok, so we've been a bit excessive this month with our money. Ok, so maybe it was me who was excessive...but in anycase...we're basically out. We made the mistake of believing we could afford going out for a coffee, a bagel, a trip to London, a couple of nice fruit drinks, a bit more wine, and renting movies. Guess that's only for the upper class! Yes, we're right back to where we were last year, except now a 1,800 pounds more in debt!

Needless to say Stephen has been on the prowl for jobs this week, with a couple of leads...

It is a stressful and cautious time as many of you past job-seekers know. But the good news is, once a job is secured, we will be on our way down Easy Street (or so we think.)

Not much will happen this weekend...we can't spend one pence more than necessary...which means we're stuck in Woking with no alcohol, no movies, no nothin!

God Bless the Queen!

Over and Out: E

Funny foibles* of the Trendy British Girl
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: BBC special report: The youth of today are apathetic and depressed!
*Because 'foible' is the word of the moment.

Woah Nelly it's humid today! Moisture is condensing on my glasses, my legs are all sweaty under my jeans, you know the routine. But it's not raining. That's the important thing.

Anyone who's visited knows that the walk to our new flat is along a long, straight road and you can see someone coming towards you from 2 blocks away, sometimes. So, heading towards me is a Trendy British Girl with her umbrella up and as she nears me, I can sense her palpable fear: 'Cor blimy! 'e doesn't 'ave 'is brolly up. It's not rainin' Wot am Oi doin'? Oi must save face and cahn't let 'im know Oi've mucked up. Must look straight ahead. Must maintain my superficial facade of trendiness.'

After we passed each other, I counted to 10 before looking over my shoulder. Sure enough, her umbrella was already put away.

At Last
Mood:  hungry
Now Playing: Some pretentious Shakespearean actor name-dropping and going bla, bla, bla on the radio
New gallery added:

Englefield Green Fair

And with that, the photo galleries of year 1 of Stephen & Elisabeth in England come to a close. There are a bunch of pictures that I wish I could have put up from John & Sean's visit but they've got them on their own pages and, best of all, my snide commentary is absent from them so I won't bother.

Time for breakfast.

Light blogging
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: BBC News - the Today show
For the forseeable future. Elisabeth's got tons of work to do at the office, I'm looking for work (And not being driven insane) and things are pretty quiet ie, uninteresting. I imagine that later this month, once Ms. Allin arrives, things worthy of blogging may transpire.

In the meantime, there are a couple of photo albums I've been meaning to put up for a while so this place won't go completely dead.

PS- Whenever I say there won't be much blogging, somethig usually comes up, so yeah, I'm stacking the deck in my favour.

PPS- 3000+ hits on our web site. I would say "cool" but I'm also aware that 2647 of those hits are from JC so I can't get too excited about it. [evil smiley goes here]