4 haikus (Sort of)
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: The news (aka Tony Blair taking it up the arse)
Topic: Stephen Says
Why isn't there
an emoticon for
'tired?'

Elisabeth gets in
at 5 am tomorrow.
Yikes!

I am tired and, sadly,
ethically-speaking, I cannot blog about my job. So just call me
Mystery Man.

England's warm and
the cider's cold.
Ahhhh.

Arg!
Topic: Stephen Says
Fine! Angelfire ate my last entry! Funny stuff - equating a scene in Apocalypse Now to what happened to me in town today. Fuckin' funny stuff, I. Tell. You. The long and the short of it? I got my hair cut and it started to rain and hail and I got caught without and umberella. Boy, was that SO not funny. Well it could have been.

I've drunk enought so that I'm not that upset anymore. ... but why am I drinking, you ask. Good question, I say. Looks like at long (8 weeks) last, I'll be starting work. Tomorrow afternoon.

Debts will be paid.

(That would be the tag-line if E&I were an action movie.) By the way, She's back in Hong Kong. Back Saturday afternoon.

No news
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The kettle whistling
Topic: Stephen Says
No news so here's some random (Ran-dumb?) links for y'all. I might have some job news later this week, but then again, I might not. I'm beginning to wonder if it was all a dream.

Happiness of the Katakuries is the Internet Movie Databases' movie of the day. Horay! It sould be the movie of the week, no month, no, they should just have a big banner advertizing it it every hour of every day because if you haven't seen this movie, you suck. It's got better claymation than the California Raisins! Better singing & dancing zombies than a Michael Jackson video! Better acting than the combined love child of Robet Deniro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer, combined! Flying sailors! The real reason Princess Diana was killed! A karaoke sing-a-long! And it's impossible to not leave the thatre that the end of the film without having the biggest, goofiest grin on your face. Ever.

I'm going to have to Buy the film today if money has been deposited into our account. All signs are pointing to it. Elisabeth and I talked about it yesterday, the film I rented had a trailer for it. Oh, to be paid and not into my overdraft. Speaking of films, I watched Sympathy for Mister Vengence last night. Brilliant film, but, um, I don't know if I've ever seen a film so brutally & relentlessly nihilistic, even by my standards of jadedness and *ahem* optimism.

Anyway, here's the original reason for this blog entry: I don't normally check out mainstream U.S. newspaper editorials but This one is pretty good. It basically addresses why conservatives in the U.S. align themselves with evangelical Christianity and not Jesus. (Hint: Because The religious right = Taliban-like dictatorship = Good vs. Jesus = think for yourself & do good things = bad)

200TH BLOG ENTRY
Topic: Stephen Says
And could it be more appropriate to report that Elisabeth spent the evening in China singing karaoke?

And will be doing so again tomorrow?

Early morning blogging
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Stephen Says
?been meaning to blog for a couple of days now and, as it?s grey & dreary & rainy outside, what?s my excuse? How am I holding up with Elisabeth away? Last night I had a disturbing dream that I was trying to play Mario Bros. (The original, not ?Super?) but he screen kept getting all messed up. This was all taking place in a box in a great big theatre that was being hosted by this Chinese woman who was barking orders to people that I couldn?t see. And, suddenly from the dark there would be these living, gay mannequins dressed in Nazi/S&M style gear doing song and dance routines. Don?t ask me what it means, but I did watch Dirty Harry last night so maybe that?s got something to do with it.

I?ve sort of re-evaluated London, after making a day of it on Friday. My main complaint is that it?s too-damn-crowded. Just, it?s just so crowded that it?s not funny. Try walking down Bond Street during rush hour on a Friday. And the thing is, the center of the city is so packed with tourists (Of which I consider myself one) that the proper inhabitants of the city are squeezed into their own neighborhoods (after all, who wants to associate with tourists) so that everywhere is crowded. Everywhere. It?s just way too crowded.

But really, that?s the only bad thing. It?s impossible to be bored and, since many of the galleries are free, it?s quite easy to not spend any money. Yeah, it?s expensive, but everyone knows that (And if you don?t, you learn it pretty damn quick) so, if you?re smart, you can bring a sandwich to hide park and sit in the park, eat it and read Papillion.

Anyway, Paris is still a prettier city but London?s got it?s own, weird vibe going on. It?s a hodgepodge of architecture, culture and other things that, I?m sure, make no sense in a city planning sense. The London Eye is still the ugliest thing in the world because it?s too modern and doesn?t fit. But then, why is the Giant Gherkin so freakin? cool??? It?s like the city itself dropped acid and, while on a whole, everyone?s having a good trip, certain areas have climbed up a sky scraped and are shouting ?I can fly, I can fly!?

Funnily enough, I also got to experience my first genuinely ?bad neighborhood? in England complete with arson & a mini-riot. I don?t know; it was more ?neat? than ?exciting? but then, I was pretty pissed as, now that I?m no longer inching but galloping my way towards 30, I can no longer party as hard as those young folks. I think I?m going to go out and buy a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches.

Elisabeth has left for the Chinese mainland today after spending yesterday touring around Hong Kong. She is very well and enjoying the trip but has no access to the internet. She is, however, taking lots of pictures and will make up for lost time, I?m sure.

Things Are Tough All Over
Topic: Stephen Says
Okay, this bonus blogging is mainly for Elisabeth's sake, but it's amusing none the less.

Yobbo flipped out today outside on the phone with the guy whom he bought his broken car from. It seems that he didn't realize that it was that broken and wanted to return it and get his money back. His negotiations (ie, screaming obscenities) didn't sway the guy so he spent the rest of the afternoon inside his broken car with the hood up revving his engine.

Someone in one of the other apartments broke up with her boyfriend. Rather, he found her with her new boyfriend. Screaming, death threats and an attempted fight ensued. Nothing happened and the girl & her boyfriend went back inside; the spurned dude rode around the parking lot and revved his moped alot. Maybe it's a Woking thing.

There's something incredible about how people articulate their rage over here. Men become inarticulate cuss-mongers and cease speaking anything that can be called 'language.' Both sexes become shrill but women over here do it in a way that cuts to the bone. I will have nightmares for years at the way that they can push every button that I, as a man, would drive me to insanity. Good for English girls. You can kick my ass any hour of any day.

Belated Blogging
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: BBC news election coverage. All day, all the time. I'm a masochist.
Topic: Stephen Says
No news is good news, so to speak. But no news makes for light blogging, unfortunately. I received a phone call from Elisabeth this morning and she?s landed in Hong Kong safe and sound after a 12 hour flight. I?ve managed to survive her departure with the help of Gene Wilder & Richard Pryor in Stir Crazy. Elisabeth saw Meet the Fockers on her flight.

Um, nothing else. Dell has finally refunded the money that they stole from me. It took two months of stupidity and useless call center workers with a dodgy knowledge of English but the money is back and just in the nick of time, since I had to pay my Visa bill yesterday. Thank God. Now our debts are ones we?ve legitimately accrued.

Nothing else going on. All quiet on the western front.

Elisabeth?s got the digital camera & her company?s decked her out with a modern ell phone with a built in camera, so hopefully she?ll get to a computer in the next few days and post something more exciting than what I?m likely to post.

British politicians (A poem)
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: A British politician
Topic: Stephen Says
I just want to say that I really hate British politicians.
All of them.
With their pompous diction and their belief that if they enounciate every sylable and speak at a heightened level,
bordering on that of a panicky house wife,
that they will appear stong and sincere.
Their encyclopedic knowledge of the most pointless statistic and their utter inability to give a strightfordward answer to the simplist of questions.
Their constant and planned out confusion of the words "I," "We (As in 'we the party'," and "We (As in 'We the people.)" to protect themselves from the legal ramifications of their speeches.
Three more weeks of this stupid campaign?
AAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Thank God the pancakes are ready now. Yum yum.

(Sorry - bad spellings of words. No glasses & no food & 1/2 a cup of coffee makes blogging hard work. Which was the whole point of this stupid rant - some asshole politician said that Blogging was a very complex and difficult thing to do and that is why if won't catch on. What a maroon.

OOps! Forgot to post a title for this blog entry!
Mood:  accident prone
Now Playing: Grand Buffet - Pittsburgh Hearts & Cigarette Beach
Topic: Stephen Says
Righty-ho, I'm wrestling the blog away from Elisabeth's sweaty little fingers. She hasn't been reading her book too much in the last few days so she's had little to rant about. I've been puttering around being the good house-husband cooking and cleaning the place (Including the flats windows - probably the 1st time they're been cleaned. Ever.) Slowly, slowly, my job will begin. I swear. Really I do.

We saw The Ipcress File last night (It came free with a magazine) and we were suitably impressed. A little dated but still enjoyable. But then, it's hard for cold war spy thrillers not to be. The reason why I mention it is that it has the most realistic example of grocery shopping in England that I've ever seen. It's absolutely brilliant. Worth the price of admission alone.

I'm going to have to find a way to edit together a video made up of clips from movies and TV shows that depict 'The Real England.' So far my video would contain:

a) The shopping scene in Ipcress,
b) The pub scenes in Straw Dogs,
c) The maypole song & dance in Wicker Man, and
d) Every single episode of The League of Gentlemen.

Scary stuff.

Anyway, we're off to the market now to revel in Woking's town center. We're out of coffee; a crisis more pressing than the whole of the Middle East.

Here's a link to entertain yourselves. Jenn, I was going to e-mail it to you and Mark but thought it was better to put it here; Sean you'll probably get a kick out it. Anyway, make sure that Markus peeps it as well.

Winging It
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: StacK ATtacK
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
It is almost the weekend, yay! Things that have happened this week: we've discoverd how broke and in debt we still are, so we must cut back on the spending for the rest of the month. Luckily I will be in China this time next week, being treated better then, well ever I expect!

Meanwhile, Stephen being off from the bookstore this week, has been preparing our "poverty" meals, like Chili (8 meals) and pasta. I have been cycling to work, even in the rain yesterday. My supervisor had to dig out the space heater to help dry my clothes. Even though I was soaking wet when I arrived at work, it was a very satisfying cycle...you know, being right there in the elements.

So this weekend, I think we'll be laying pretty low...

New topic: Spring in England...from what we can see from our non-automotive perspective, the greens are greener than green, the flowers are full and vibrant, and generally people are perkier.

In my last blog I was perhaps a bit unfair to the English, and only presented apsects of the culture that infuriate me. So today for the sake of fairness and balance, here are some things that are good about England:

1. Their commitment to linguistics.
2. Their passion for gardening.
3. They are very careful about their appearance.
4. Their sense of humour
5. A pub every 5 miles.
6. The abundence of green spaces
7. Numerous local farms
8. YOU ADD SOMETHING...