Sick
Topic: Stephen Says
As in, both Elisabeth and I are. But Elisabeth's cough is more severe so, hopefully she'll take tomorrow off and plug herself full of drugs so that she'll get better. I'm working late 'till 9:30 pm tomorrow.

I'm also signed up to take a distance learning course at Guildford College on infection control, all working towards NVQ levels. I don't have a clue what the Canadian equivilent is. It's kind of like, uh, nursing...? The funny thing is that I had to take an english language proficiency test on my ability to comprehend written language and spell. I got 100% (Which seems to qualify me for a certificate of something-or-other. It also shows that all my 'typos' and 'grammatical errer' on this blg are purely intentionall and ment to be ironick. After all, I GOT 100% on my english test. THAT MEAN'S I'M PREFECT (at english). So Phblitt, suckers!

It also means that I'm considered a student once again, eligable for a student card and all the benefits that come with it (10% discount in most stores in Guildford AND [And this is the best part] 1/3 discount on train fares all over again.). The only downside is that I've got to, erm, study again.

Bank holiday? What bank holiday?
Topic: Stephen Says
Light blogging over the next few days (Erm, isn't it ALWAYS light blogging???) as I'm working & Elisabeth's still fighting jet lag & illness (Not SARS or bird flu, I swear) and working awfully hard getting all the work that she did in China ready for presentation. I'm fighing off her illness.

In England it's all election all the time. Tony Blair makes Mel Lastman (Lassman?) look cool as a cucumber compared to the way that he's spazzing out about everything. Basically, Labour's got a lock on the election but Big T desperately doesn't want to lose his majority. I think that it would be a fitting 'fuck you' to him if Labour got a 3rd majority but he wasn't elected in his riding. In fact, my money's on that happening.

The wonkily mind-boggeling good news of the moment is that I get paid overtime (time and a half).

Guess who's back?
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The Russian celebration of Orthodox Easter coming live from Moscow
Topic: Blogs with photos

...and are YOU rapture ready?...
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Stephen Says
Oh, well that's a big fuckin' relief!
(Yet do you notice how much 'St. Malachy' sounds like 'St. Malarkey?')
"?and, uh, last but not least, fuck, and I mean seriously, really, really mean, fuck, double fuck, fucky fuck the religious right?"
-Grand Buffet "Thank you! Goodbye. We die. (Pittsburgh Hearts)

PS: DOESN'T ANYONE REALISE THEY'RE IDIOTS?!?!

4 haikus (Sort of)
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: The news (aka Tony Blair taking it up the arse)
Topic: Stephen Says
Why isn't there
an emoticon for
'tired?'

Elisabeth gets in
at 5 am tomorrow.
Yikes!

I am tired and, sadly,
ethically-speaking, I cannot blog about my job. So just call me
Mystery Man.

England's warm and
the cider's cold.
Ahhhh.

Arg!
Topic: Stephen Says
Fine! Angelfire ate my last entry! Funny stuff - equating a scene in Apocalypse Now to what happened to me in town today. Fuckin' funny stuff, I. Tell. You. The long and the short of it? I got my hair cut and it started to rain and hail and I got caught without and umberella. Boy, was that SO not funny. Well it could have been.

I've drunk enought so that I'm not that upset anymore. ... but why am I drinking, you ask. Good question, I say. Looks like at long (8 weeks) last, I'll be starting work. Tomorrow afternoon.

Debts will be paid.

(That would be the tag-line if E&I were an action movie.) By the way, She's back in Hong Kong. Back Saturday afternoon.

No news
Mood:  caffeinated
Now Playing: The kettle whistling
Topic: Stephen Says
No news so here's some random (Ran-dumb?) links for y'all. I might have some job news later this week, but then again, I might not. I'm beginning to wonder if it was all a dream.

Happiness of the Katakuries is the Internet Movie Databases' movie of the day. Horay! It sould be the movie of the week, no month, no, they should just have a big banner advertizing it it every hour of every day because if you haven't seen this movie, you suck. It's got better claymation than the California Raisins! Better singing & dancing zombies than a Michael Jackson video! Better acting than the combined love child of Robet Deniro, Al Pacino, Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer, combined! Flying sailors! The real reason Princess Diana was killed! A karaoke sing-a-long! And it's impossible to not leave the thatre that the end of the film without having the biggest, goofiest grin on your face. Ever.

I'm going to have to Buy the film today if money has been deposited into our account. All signs are pointing to it. Elisabeth and I talked about it yesterday, the film I rented had a trailer for it. Oh, to be paid and not into my overdraft. Speaking of films, I watched Sympathy for Mister Vengence last night. Brilliant film, but, um, I don't know if I've ever seen a film so brutally & relentlessly nihilistic, even by my standards of jadedness and *ahem* optimism.

Anyway, here's the original reason for this blog entry: I don't normally check out mainstream U.S. newspaper editorials but This one is pretty good. It basically addresses why conservatives in the U.S. align themselves with evangelical Christianity and not Jesus. (Hint: Because The religious right = Taliban-like dictatorship = Good vs. Jesus = think for yourself & do good things = bad)

200TH BLOG ENTRY
Topic: Stephen Says
And could it be more appropriate to report that Elisabeth spent the evening in China singing karaoke?

And will be doing so again tomorrow?

Early morning blogging
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Stephen Says
?been meaning to blog for a couple of days now and, as it?s grey & dreary & rainy outside, what?s my excuse? How am I holding up with Elisabeth away? Last night I had a disturbing dream that I was trying to play Mario Bros. (The original, not ?Super?) but he screen kept getting all messed up. This was all taking place in a box in a great big theatre that was being hosted by this Chinese woman who was barking orders to people that I couldn?t see. And, suddenly from the dark there would be these living, gay mannequins dressed in Nazi/S&M style gear doing song and dance routines. Don?t ask me what it means, but I did watch Dirty Harry last night so maybe that?s got something to do with it.

I?ve sort of re-evaluated London, after making a day of it on Friday. My main complaint is that it?s too-damn-crowded. Just, it?s just so crowded that it?s not funny. Try walking down Bond Street during rush hour on a Friday. And the thing is, the center of the city is so packed with tourists (Of which I consider myself one) that the proper inhabitants of the city are squeezed into their own neighborhoods (after all, who wants to associate with tourists) so that everywhere is crowded. Everywhere. It?s just way too crowded.

But really, that?s the only bad thing. It?s impossible to be bored and, since many of the galleries are free, it?s quite easy to not spend any money. Yeah, it?s expensive, but everyone knows that (And if you don?t, you learn it pretty damn quick) so, if you?re smart, you can bring a sandwich to hide park and sit in the park, eat it and read Papillion.

Anyway, Paris is still a prettier city but London?s got it?s own, weird vibe going on. It?s a hodgepodge of architecture, culture and other things that, I?m sure, make no sense in a city planning sense. The London Eye is still the ugliest thing in the world because it?s too modern and doesn?t fit. But then, why is the Giant Gherkin so freakin? cool??? It?s like the city itself dropped acid and, while on a whole, everyone?s having a good trip, certain areas have climbed up a sky scraped and are shouting ?I can fly, I can fly!?

Funnily enough, I also got to experience my first genuinely ?bad neighborhood? in England complete with arson & a mini-riot. I don?t know; it was more ?neat? than ?exciting? but then, I was pretty pissed as, now that I?m no longer inching but galloping my way towards 30, I can no longer party as hard as those young folks. I think I?m going to go out and buy a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches.

Elisabeth has left for the Chinese mainland today after spending yesterday touring around Hong Kong. She is very well and enjoying the trip but has no access to the internet. She is, however, taking lots of pictures and will make up for lost time, I?m sure.

Things Are Tough All Over
Topic: Stephen Says
Okay, this bonus blogging is mainly for Elisabeth's sake, but it's amusing none the less.

Yobbo flipped out today outside on the phone with the guy whom he bought his broken car from. It seems that he didn't realize that it was that broken and wanted to return it and get his money back. His negotiations (ie, screaming obscenities) didn't sway the guy so he spent the rest of the afternoon inside his broken car with the hood up revving his engine.

Someone in one of the other apartments broke up with her boyfriend. Rather, he found her with her new boyfriend. Screaming, death threats and an attempted fight ensued. Nothing happened and the girl & her boyfriend went back inside; the spurned dude rode around the parking lot and revved his moped alot. Maybe it's a Woking thing.

There's something incredible about how people articulate their rage over here. Men become inarticulate cuss-mongers and cease speaking anything that can be called 'language.' Both sexes become shrill but women over here do it in a way that cuts to the bone. I will have nightmares for years at the way that they can push every button that I, as a man, would drive me to insanity. Good for English girls. You can kick my ass any hour of any day.