I AM NOT THE CHIPPER!
Topic: Stephen Says
Aaaaaarg!
We're reading The Corrections again. I'm already spazzing out.
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRg!

Ya couldn't make this up even if you wanted too...
Topic: Stephen Says
We were walking back from the pub, Elisabeth carrying 12 rolls of China blue toilet paper (12 for the price of 9!) and me with the bottle of cheap Spanish cavas (sparkling wine) clinking against the cheap bottle of rose with my every second step. Elisabeth turns to me and asks "Are we trash?" ... and a bird poops on her head.

Who's your primary bread winner now, baby?
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Stephen Says
All work & no play makes for very, vert light blogging. I'm learning the joys of the 14 hour work day (It's not so bad, actually) and the joys of receriving a pay cheque (Debts will be paid.) that's bigger than your wifes. The only thing is that there's not alot to say. This morning's conversation:

Me: "We should up date the blog."
Elisabeth: "Yup."
Silence.

Oooh! OOOH! I know, there was a talent show in the Woking mall yesterday. E pointed out the the mall doubles as the city's rec centre. How horrible is that? Not a horrible as a fat, hairy 50 year old man in a leisure suit singing Elton John songs. Or kids doing dances to the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Or 50 teens smooshed into our local bandstand (About the size of our kitchen) trying to play their own brand of feel-good, tinny, high school band music while avoiding the slide trombone threatening to concuss the 1st 2 rows. But I digress...

Friday was the hottest day in England in 50 years. I sweated through it and it seems that the coming apocalypse was averted but the fallout it that it's still pretty nice out and we're off to the nice pub this afternoon. The one with the big beer garden on the bank of the canal.

And that's about it. While I sweated it out on Friday in the busy office (sort of...), Elisabeth got off work early & went to a BBQ at her boss' house with the rest of her office and got to impress everyone with her abilities in gymnastics, alcohol consumption & Swedish wood chucking. All crowned by a wobbly bike ride home and, saving the best for last, Ghostbusters.

Who ya gonna call?

Bla, bla bla
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Stephen Says
Something strange must be going on when Elisabeth starts hinting that it is I who should be blogging a little bit more. Usually I'm the one nagging her to keep the blog alive.

Unfortunately, I don't have a heck of alot to say - it's been all work all the time, the last few days, which, I must add, I don't mind at all. It's been an exciting week so far with police & broken glass & dodgy psychiatrists and the tension is palpable as we approach this Big Inspection in early June. I slept the other night on the office floor & did a 14 hour shift yesterday.

I've got today off, thank God. I'm a litle bit nervous of burning out but I think that's just an over-reaction. More strangenesss over at the homestead - Elisabeth has slipped me a 20 pound note telling me to 'spoil myself' today.' It's official, I suppose - she wears the pants (trousers) in this household!

Ugh, damn I need more coffee before I get out. My mind is as blank as a fart.

Oh the Ironing!
Mood:  spacey
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
So yes, the Angelfire server has been down for a couple of days...which explains why all blogging has been on hold. Don't panic, we're still alive & puttering around Surrey. Stephen is doing the over-night shift tonight, so I am sitting in my underwear at 10:30 at night, debating whether or not to do the ironing, and what to cook for dinner tomorrow that will keep for Thursday. And frankly, as Queen Elizabeth says..."Let them eat CAKE!"

ASSAULT!
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: D.O.A. - Talk Minus Action Equals Zero
Topic: Stephen Says
Yeah, so *technically* I got assaulted today and it kinda sucked because I had to do alot of paperwork as a result. I also cooked up a batch of kick arse Thai chicken tonight, so who's complaining?

Oh yeah, I know who is - every motorist who passed through Woking today. There was some kind of spectacular accident today where (and I kid you not, this is 100% true) a cement mixer ran over & killed a man by the town center. When it stopped, the car behing the mixer crashed into it & the two people in the front were taken to the hospital. The police closed down Woking's main artery & life for drivers passing through sucked.

I pulled a 12 hour work day today and have earned my cider. Goodnight.

Fraud!
Mood:  chillin'
Topic: Stephen Says
Rightie ho, enough with all this silliness with comments and onto the silliness of life. My, how whimsical that sounds. Elisabeth has been the victim of card fraud and we've had 70 pounds taken from our accunt. We've followed it up and will be doing the paperwork thing, etc and, with luck, be getting re-imbursed by the end of the month. Our fight with Dell has taught us some things about some things and all is good. Her card is cancelled and we shan't lose any more money. It also helps our case that the withdrawl was made manually (no card involved) from somewhere in northern England while she was in China.

The funny thing is that we're so comfortable right now that we didn't notice the missing cash for almost a month. As a result, we're going to buy a proper table & chairs with the money when we get it back. So long pink table & blue benches!

We'll be auctioning them off on eBay so keep your eyes peeled!

GAME OVER!
Mood:  surprised
Now Playing: Stack Attack
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Ok so thank you all who posted comments (6 in total...not including the Sean & Stephen repeats). You did average when it comes to alphabetical order.

But the more important thing is that we had 40 hits on our website yesterday, and only 6 people have left comments. This means that only 15% of people reading this page care to identify yourselves.

WHo the hell are y'all?

Break on Through
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: Autechre--"Second Scout"
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Hey ya'll...it's Sunday afternoon in Surrey Uk, and Stephen & I have already been to the hardware store twice to buy a florencent lightbulb and a new shade for our kitchen window (no more nursey themes!).

We went into town, had a pint & now are home to relax...well Stephen is making a super smelling curry & I'm drinking wine & enjoying the sunshine through the window.

Yesterday was an amazing day for me as I spent the day with the company secretary (who is leaving to start her African food catering company) & helped her as a server for her first solo job. The day started by collecting the pig (already dead) from a fellow spit-roaster/butcher & then jamming steel rings through the pig's flesh to attach it to a pole. Then we drove to a parking lot on the river Thames, somewhere between Sunbury & Hampton where we were met by the lady who's 40th birthday party had brought us all together. She turned out to be a sucessful contemporary artist currently exhibiting at the Saatchi Gallery in London. As the party was on a small island (Platt Eyot--a real name!) they came and collected us & the food in a boat. We sailed around a nesting swan to the other side of the island where we set the cooker alight and cooked the pig for 5 hours. It was so much fun, & the party was a blast as it was free food, live music, on a secluded island (car free) on the water & the company was artsy type people so everyone was super nice. I ate some of the pork...as the reformed vegetarian hypocrit that I am...and it was delicious! (I even tried the crackling-which is the cooked skin all bubbled and crispy) mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....sinful

Anyway...I am drunk now so here's a IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL READERS: We want to break the record for the most comments in 24 hours ever to be posted at oz/rexcats. So please post a comment following these guidelines:

1. All commenters shall state their name
2. All commenters must write 1 letter of the alphabet, but this must be in alphabetical order. So the first commenter leaves their 1) Name & 2) "a"

The second commenter leaves his/her name & text "b", and so on.

Let's see how many letters of the alphabet we can post in a 24 hour period. Should there be more commenters than there are letters in the alphabet, please start using Aa, Bb, Cc...

And remember, this IS a popularity contest.

Good posting to ya'll.

Moonlighting
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Stephen Says
Not to be outdone by her husband getting a job so that we can be a dual-income family, Elisabeth has taken it one step further and is moonlighting as a caterer. A friend of hers has started her own catering company (click here for the as-yet-still under construction web site - Today's her first do.) and Elisabeth has eagerly agreed to help her get the business going.

Me? Well, after doing the dishes, the laundry, vaccuming the flat and buying the groceries, I'm going to settle in with a few cans of cider and some pasta with red lentil bolognaise. It's all about the food.

Disturbing incident of the week: I've signed up to a private health insurance scheme (scheme? That sounds so dodgy. I mean, PLAN) and now have things like accidental death & disability coverage and a dental plan. Now, if only I could find a dentist...