More Canal Blogging!
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: Bjork: Greatest Hits
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
We've been working...sleeping...and eating...but here's some more canal pix to look at until we actually do something blog-worthy!

This coming weekend Stephen works both Sat & Sun, so you might be looking at these pictures for a while!

SMell-ya later...E

Oh where or where could my wedding man gone?
Mood:  sad
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Wail...wah...Stephen's doing a sleep-in tonight. Tomorrow he works until 4pm & then plays D&D. No see Stephen until Wednesday! Makes Lisabef a sad girl :(

So Stephen thought he was irritated on Friday when he wrote the last blog-entry. Boy did he not realize how much worse things were to get that night. I went out drinking with co-workers, had dinner & more wine, then to a cocktail lounge & came home a right ol' mess. We fought, blah blah, it's all my fault because I go crazy when hard liquour hits me, yah yah....anyway, I got up in the middle of the night to get some squash b/c I was dehydrated, and what do I do? "Oh my God...I just stepped on your glasses!" And I wonder why I'm not going to see Stephen for a couple of days...(sheepish=Lisabef).

But the light of day sorted things out & Stephen sent his glasses to try to be repaired to stall for time as his insurance coverage will kick in late this week. So for the next 7 days, he is a blind ol' fart.

On Sunday we trained it down to Highcliffe, Dorset to see Stephen's Nain. We had a lovely lunch & strolled along the beach. It was a gorgeous day & could very clearly see the Isle of Wight & the Needles. Ice cream was enjoyed by the seaside...real Dorest cream too!! Don't forget the 99 flake...

Now it's the working week...and Stephen will be working this coming weekend...so I've got plenty of time to finish reading The Corrections for the 2nd time...it just gets better & better...

Cheerio!

Mayoral Mayhem!
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: Grand Buffet - The Trilogy of Terror 3 EP's
Topic: Stephen Says
In September it's the annual review. An opportunity for the residence to show off it's stuff to head office & throw a really good party for staff & residents alike. I'm one of the two in charge of setting the day up. Amongst those invited are our local MP and mayor. I mean Mayor.

They're both coming. But, with the mayor's presence comes a series or rules UK style. Here are my favorites and, it should not need to be said, these are all real:

(And keep in mind this is a short-term rehab for people with mental & emotional health problems with an increasing focus on those from a forensic background.)

(Also keep in mind that it's a pretty relaxed and casual environment so long as everyone behaves. As a result, to an outsider, what is going on may appear chaotic, offensive, even more chaotic and extremely offensive. But it gets results, so, as the great "Bob" Dobbs would say, 'fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.'

Note 2: Precedence:
"Except in the presence of a Member of the Royal Family, or the Lord Lieutenant of Surrey, the Mayor must always take precedence within the Borough. Unless in the Chair, the Mayor is to be seated on the immediate right of the chairman or other person pending. The Mayoress should be seated on the left of the Chairman."

Note 6: Mode of Address:
"It is customary to address the Mayor as "Mr. Mayor" or "Your Worship" and to refer to him in the third person as "His Worship the Mayor".(sic) Letters should be addressed to "The Worshipful the Mayor".(sic) [Aside: My letter to him was addressed to "Hello."] The Mayoress is addressed as "Madam Mayoress"."(sic)

Note 9: Lunches/Dinners/Suppers [Is there a difference???], etc.:
"The Mayor should be seated on the Chairman's right (unless the Lord Lieutenant of Surrey be present, in which case the Mayor should be on the left of the Chairman).

"When the Mayoress accompanies the Mayor, her seat should be on the Chairman's left, except when the Mayor sits on the Chairman's left, in which case the Mayoress should sit on the Mayor's left.

"When the Mayoress is attending unaccompanied by the Mayor, her seat should be in the position indicated above for the Mayor."

Anyway, I have used my authority to delegate the resposibility for dealing with the Mayor to someone else.

blah blah blah
Topic: Stephen Says
So it's been exactly 4 weeks since the London Bombs (tm))(c) and 2 weeks since the Failed London Bombings (tm)(c) and the British police is making their Presence Felt (tm)(c) today by piling all their forces onto the whole country's public transport system. Of course, this has been met with great fanfare and news coverage so you're 100% guaranteed that only the most idiotic fool of a terrorist would even try to do anything today.

Of course, the argument is made that this is a jester (Deliberately ironic & snarky spelling mistake) to reassure people who take public transport that for this one and only day, the whole system will be terrorist-free. And that they can feel comforted that, in a few weeks, when the hoo-hah has died down and there are no more police on the transit system, they might have the opportunity to get blown up all over again.

And the way to reassure people in War on Terrorism (tm)(c) style is to make sure that your police are carrying the biggest, baddest heavy machine guns in almost all of Britain painted a mat coal black for extra effect.

And an even better way to reassure the public is to LOCK ALL THE TOILETS AT HASLEMERE STATION FOR THIS ONE DAY ONLY. As I discovered today. Oh, and the village of Haslemere is about as important to the functioning of the United Kindom as Kamloops is to Canada. So naturally, you understand why some mad jihadist would wat to plant a bomb in one of the station's crappers.

On a serious note, please read Ted Rall's newest op-ed piece. If you haven't added his weekly articls to your must-read favorites list, I'm very disappointed in you.

Don't Tempt Fate
Topic: Stephen Says
Pooped.
It was supposed to be my slack week but I covered for a co-worker and did a sleep in and then I spent today running all over Surrey which, while it was very enjoyable has pooped me out. So yeah, 30 straight hours of work.

On Sunday that pesky co-worker with whom I took the 1st aid course and I decided to horse around with another employee and pracise what we'd learned - bandage his head, put his arm in slings, bandage broken fingers, lots of ha ha hee hee.

Then into the office comes one of the project's residents, shaking, confused, unable to speak clearly. He pulls up his trouser legs and blood is pouring from both shins. Turns out he'd had a seizure in town, been sick and cut his legs open. First aiders to the rescue, we followed the book precisely (It had only been just over 24 hours since we'd both gotten 100% on our practical exams) and things were sorted out.

Anyway, the weirdest thing was the way in which something very funny turned so serious. And then I went home. Thank goodness, because it meant that I didn't have to fill out all of the incident reports. In quadruplicate.

Workin for the Weekend
Mood:  chillin'
Now Playing: A Really Good Mix CD
Topic: Elisabeth's Entries
Not much a-doing. Stephen's been working this weekend, and I've been cleaning, reading, playing piano...will go out to the shops to buy some cider & wine so we can chill out tonight.

This coming week looks good with planned outings to pubs/bars, and a trip down south to see Stephen's Nain on Sunday. My workload should drastically reduce this week as major projects have come to an end, and Stephen is scheduled for some reasonable hours.

Otherwise, much more of the same.

OH!! Good news: It looks like Yob has finally moved/been kicked out and hence it has been very quiet this weekend in the grange development. YAY!!

Yeah, yeah, I know. too much blogging spoils the pudding
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Husker Du is still going on
Topic: Blogs with photos
Sweden trip pictures.
Enter at your own risk.

Spoiler-free thoughts on Harry Potter VI
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Steel Pole Bath Tub - Scars From Falling Down / Husker Du - Candy Apple Grey
Topic: Stephen Says
Well, I finished it a week or so ago and have had some time to digest it. First of all, Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials is, as far as I'm concerned, the bar to which all cross-party-child/adult literature should be held up to so, granted, Harry Potter will fall quite far below the bar. Of course, the series isn't finished so I'm open to revise my opinion once it's all been said and done.

I'm also aware that His Dark Materials is principally for young/middle teenagers and Harry Potter is for children. And this is my main criticism of the 6th book - They're all 16 now and a year away from being (Wizarding) adults. The original fan-base is also rapidly approaching this age (If they're not aleady older), yet the style, while maturing (Since Mrs. Rowling is maturing as a writer), the content is not.

Is this really how 16 year olds actin Britain? Even if they're wizards and witches? Um, where are the thongs, the boob tubs, the experimenting with illegal drugs. And please, don't tell me that (Insert charater name) and (Insert other character name - you know who they are!) didn't have sex after all the stressing of how hot & heavy they were.

Harry Potter is stuck in this weird idyllic Enid Blyghton (Spelled wrong, I know) world yet, at the same time firmly placed in the present (Don't tell me that you didn't think you were reading about Tony Blair & Chimpy in those 1st three pages) (Also, don't tell me that you didn't see MASSIVE resembelances to U.S. style indefinate detentions and the random [and fictitious] headline grabing caused by the so-called war on terror [though, if my sources are correct, its name will be changing shortly. Stay tuned!]). As a result, there's something that just seems, erm, wrong about it. Remember what happened at the end of His Dark Materials? If Harry Potter doesn't have a heart-breaking, mind-blowing conclusion like that, where all the nerds (And lets face it, Harry Potter fans are nerds. The books are written to appeal to them and, I have no shame in saying it, they appeal to me) are left going "holy shit!!!," then, I fear, they will be a big ol' waste of time.

That said, I was planted for 3 days reading it. While I was aware of some of what happened in the final pages (Who wasn't), the Really Big Twist caught me by surprise and I think the last book, at last free of the structure set up by every single other book before it (Thank God), will be really quite good. Even thought it's obvious what's going to happen in it. Except for the final chapters, of course. Those are up in the air. My money's on Harry dying, though. Mind you, I've been wrong about everything in the past. So he'll probably live. After all, he was The Boy Who Lived.

Oh, and those last two chapters just dragged and dragged and dragged, trying a little too hard to squeeze a tear out of your eye.

But I enjoyed the book. I really did. I just suspect that, come book seven, much like The Matrix, everyone will be left wondering what the heck all the hype was about.

And if you're gonna comment, it had better be spoiler-free. I'm gonna have a certificate in first aid. I can fix you and I can break you, too.

I think I'm in love
Mood:  silly
Now Playing: and You Will Know us by the Trail of Dead - Source Tags & Codes
Topic: Stephen Says
And her name's Annie. She's got no arms and legs and she's pretty quiet. Yup, she's a CPR dummy. I'm almost through my 4 day First aid course and my sanity has (mostly) returned. What was poorly planned about this course is that I'm taking it with the certain co-worker that (according to my 3 month probationary report) "can have dramatic and destructive effects on Stephens (sic) ability to focus on the job at hand." Hence why were were making wind up calls to the boss from the pub during out 'lunch' hour.

It's a weird thing to be taking this course because I thought that it would be with other people from a care environment and the vast majority are, in fact, slaves to a large corporate firm (Tele-communications-something-or-other). As a result, my co-worker and I have taken it upon ourselves to engage in fast-track rehabilitation Snowdon style on them. There hasn't been too much progress but we have managed to convince one fine fellow to leave threatening messages on the project's answer phone claiming to be the first aid instructer and saying that he had to kick the two of us out for being inappropriate and coming back from our 'lunch' hours drunk.

My probation report also says something about this, let me see... Ah yes, " [I] must be aware that [blah, blah, books & stuff] are legal documents and should keep this in mind when assessing the appropriateness of [my] comments." Hmmm...

The really interesting thing, though, is that I've withnessed an interesting cross-section of the types of orifice office workers that Elisabeth works with and all I can say is holy cow, I could never conform to that kind of a crowd and kudos to Elisabeth for having that ability (Though I wonder if that's a good thing...). I mean, honestly, they're all really nice folks but they're really quite S.Q.U.A.R.E. And the funny thing is that they're all aching to break out of their squareness. Whenever we have to do role plays, improvisations or volunteer for things, they're petrified. But holy moley do they get into it once they're up there. It's refreshing to see and gives me hope for their future.

Oh, and the guy that were were able to corrupt so easily into crank calling the project? Well, my co-worker recognizes him from a club in Brighton. So you know what that means. It's a handy skill to be able to spot those who you just know will be willing to fuck with someone's head.

Don't readt this entry
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: Love - Forever Changes / Da Capo
Topic: Stephen Says
Rightie ho, I'm on my 3rd pint of Pimms and am ready to blog about mine & Elisabeth's most recent trip to Sweden.

Be warned: This entry may get deleted in the harsh light of day. You know what I'm talking about, M&J.

First off, holy cow, Swedes are good looking. Danes are too (We once again spent quite alot of time loitering around Coppenhagen airport and had the opportunity to meet the funniest check in guy ever. For example: "Any bags to check in?" "No." "Good!"). But it's quie a strange thing to fly for an hour and a half and enter this mystical land of blondes who are all normal (Though slightly boring) and beautiful in non-trendy ways. ie, ways that will not grow old or dated.

Anyway, onto the juicy stuff.
Actually, it won't be quite so juicy - I'm going to write in the abstract for a little bit.

There was a good line in the book that I was reading while in Sweden that went (To paraphrase) "some people can be so rational to the point that they become insane." I thought that was really interesting because rationalality is relative and, when someone is firm in their beliefs, there becomes little room for introspection and, as a result, for some, their their very rational beliefs can be sane to them but abso-fuckingly-ridiculous to others.

Confused? Well, this entry will get more so.

There's also a strange insanity when it comes to flexability. It's that old question about anarchy - Who will fix the sewers? Likewise, when does one persons irrational flexability, combined with theit martyrdumb and add a dose of oppressively imposed low-self esteem become utterly ridiculous? You know, like just because a restaurant serves really good cheese cake, well maybe I don't want cheese cake for lunch. Maybe I want a quiche! And maybe I won't eat any cheesecake at all!! And why is it so fucking weird that I eat and drink what I want?

Why does my menu have to conform to yours?
Why do we have to eat together and why does it all have to bee the same thing??

(Look, I'm sorry - this is the kind of artsy / over pretentious thing that someone in high school writes. I promise not to do it again.)

(After this time.)

It's weird to visit an essentially Western country country with all the first world conveniences only to discover that your hotel is stuck in the middle ages where the management goes out of its way to turn you into a monastic serf and, should you not crumble into their clutches after their first half-assed barely heartfelt attempt, they hide in thier bedrooms, spying on you. Afraid to leave you alone because you must be some kind of horny sex-monkey who will start humping anything and everything at a moments chance at the first second that you're alone with your wife.

Or how about the franctic "NOOOOOooooo!" as you try and open a bottle of wine that you smuggled into the monastery under the nose of the watchful bloodhounds, only to have most of it drunk greedily by the head monk, who cares notihng about offering it (even though it wasn't even given to him) to those who brought it in, as the bloodhound angrily chastizes the 'alkies' who have hardly had a tipple.

The thing is, there's more, there's more, there's always more.

-Angrily driving around parking lots of glass factories under the pretense of 'finding a place to eat,' except that, dude, you didn't even stop the car OR check to see if you could even eat at thre glass factory.

-Getting so angry that you couldn't even to bring yourselves to say grace. Over the course of 3 meals!

-no communication, fleeing the scene, encouraging others to flee the scene.

-insanity, insanity, insantiy.

Thank God the airport had nice, cold beer on tap. I'm not an alcoholic but some people turn me into one. Give us a call is you need me to explain all this shit. It's been a long four days.