This is the Tale of Warren the Emu
There once was a land named Mack. In this Land of Mack, there were many wonderous animals. There were also many delights of nature. Clouds blew across the skies, warning many of the early spring storms that would often blow across the valleys, dresing all in a blanket of snow.
But spring warmth brought many new faces to the meadow. There were plenty of new baby animals this spring, and the entire valley was up in a rush over these new members of the world.
Of the heard of emu, six families were blessed to have a newborn child this spring. One mother imparticular had given birth to a child whose body frame was, to be kind, frail.
They named him Warren, in hopes that he would grow up to be just like their favorite negro rap-artist, Warren G and the Regulators.
Warren the Emu was a special emu indeed. He was quite different from the other baby emu. He looked frail and small, almost breakable to the touch. The other emu would laugh at his antics as he would chase a butterfly on his tailfeather; 'round and 'round like a whirling dervish.
Warren was always getting picked on by the other larger emu. They would often chase him into the muddy creek and get his feathers all crusty with mud. As he did in these situations, he sat in the mud and let the mud dry and crack in the hot sun upon his jet black feathers, his face quite expressionless.
As things often do, late spring brought change to the Valley of Mack. By now, Warren was out gathering food on his own. On an expidition for corn kernels left behind by the farmer's clumsy plow, he discovered a mine of broken cobs left upon the field. When he proceeded to eat the yellow treats, a band of other young larger emu leaped upon him and pecked out many of his feathers and stole his precious corn.
Bawling, he ran home to his mother and father. "Oh mother," he cried, "the other emu have taken my corn. Worst of worse, they plucked my feathers!"
"There, there," his mother sided, "it's just that you are small and they are big and strong. That will all change very soon though."
"Change?" asked Warren, totally confused, "You mean to say I am not the only little emu?"
"Yes," said his father, "for this is the time of late spring, and other baby emu shall be born soon, and you shall not be the little one any longer. We, in fact, are anticipating the arrival of another egg!"
"Really!?!" Warren said with delight.
And then, the others arrived. That day, and the next, and the next, the valley was filled with the shrieks of newborn emu.
With the birth of the others came a great change in Warren's life. From a grapefruit-sized egg arose a frail black and gray figure that Warren's mother and father named Chris. Yet, larger emu still would laugh at Warren, but now, they would tell him to go away. It seemed that little emu were very special, even more than he was. It seemed they were all cuter than he.
It was then that Warren, with tears in his eyes, told his story to the Great One, Chaunsey the Lion.
"Arrrr, little emu," consoled the old and wise lion, "being a big brother isn't that bad. The little emu need someone to look up to. The little ones need an older brother to love."
All this made absolutely no sense to Warren, and it seemed that he was not even wanted in the company of Chaunsey the Lion. Sadly, with head hung low, he packed up his napsack and headed for a land far away.
At the creek that ran through the valley, he stopped on the bridge that ran above it. He looked into the reflection's eyes; it was a reflection of a little boy, not an emu, and he knew then that he was not to ever come back to this place. He reached into his napsack and with one mighty heave he thrust the Warren G cd that his parents gave him into the rushing water. It was his first step towards being normal.
Many days passed until he met up with a town called Wrightsville. Here, he was manipulated by the words of the locals.
"What in the hell?" one man cried.
"Is that a boy, or an ostrich?" shrieked a woman.
As he neared the edge of town, a man in the last house in town cried out into the dusk air, "Hey little boy!"
"Yes?" Warren replied, curious.
"Are you an orphan?" the man said.
"Well, I am only traveling," Warren replied, at a loss for words.
"You must be tired then! Come inside, you can sleep in the guest room tonight!" insisted the man.
As it turned out, the man and his wife starkly insisted that Warren stay longer. In fact, it came to the point where, not having any children of their own, they adopted Warren and gave him a home. The Andersons were loving and caring poeple. And forever and ever he stayed with the Andersons. he was so happy he had finally found a place where emu are treated as people too. He lived amongst the human race; going to school with other children, playing games with other children, and being happy, just like a normal boy.
Ice Cream Church Links
The Ice Cream Bible, simplified for the modern day Joe.
Ice Creamail! Mail the high ranking officials of the Church!
20 questions of ice cream/JOIN THE CHURCH!
The Original Ice Cream Bible (in old english)
The New Testament of Ice Cream! STORIES!
JOIN THE ICE CREAM CHURCH!
The Commandments of Ice Cream
The End will be the Day of Fudgement...learn the facts.
The Official Emu Homepage! I love it! It's wonderful!
Emu Recipes! I fear for my mother's life!
