All of the Commandments of the Ice Cream God
1. Ice cream is not a game.
2. Ice cream is no joke.
3. Wet malt is perfectly acceptable when one is at fault for a violation of the ice cream laws.
4. If Mike Marks is dipping the same flavor you need for your customers, shove him out of
the way and help yourself.
5. If Grim comes in tonight he wet mops the front.
6. If there is melted ice cream on a dipper in the well, it means you should wet malt Mike
Marks.
7. Golf employees should be pranked whenever possible.
8. If you f*** with Ice Cream, Ice Cream will f*** with you.
9. Ice cream was here before us, and it will be here long after we're gone.
10. If you don't know how much it costs, make up a price.
11. Thou shalt not eat Soft Serve.
12. Thou can put other gods before the Ice Cream God, just don't f*** with ice cream.
13. Thou should be prepared to be bitten by animals when entering the animal cage.
14. Thou shalt not order astroshakes, or thou's a** will get kicked.
15. If you're bored, wet malt Mike Marks.
16. The golf employees are not human. They are children.
17. If thou likes ice cream, join the Ice Cream Church.
18. Cookie dough is a sin! It be more cookie dough than ice cream, and that is not what we have came to love. It, my child, is a minion of Beef.
19. Chocolate Marshmellow is an imaginary flavor. It once existed with the likes of ancient Beevians.
20. When a milkshake blows up, it is the workings of Beef. This archangelf can posses helpless milkshakes and astroshakes and cause them to explode wenever he feels it is necessary.
21. Thou shalt not drive the golf cart in front of the store, but behind it.
22. If thou must, thoust can eat right out of the can...with your fingers.
23. Thou shalt not eat the Frozen Custard, nor the Frozen Yogart, nor the evil Soft Serve.
24. Thou shalt heave the half gallons at your partner when the fill-time arrives, not hand.
25. If you are fat, you don't need any ice cream.
26. Peanut butter ripple kills fat people, indirectly of course.
One click on each one of these links is one step away from becoming a follower of Beef!
The Old Testament of Ice Cream, the Old English vers. of the Ice Cream Bible.
Well, you guessed it, the same as above, only in a language so the stupidest redneck could understand. Not as funny as the above page.
Think that one of the pastors of the Ice Cream Church are cute? Get their email addresses here!
Friar Emu's homepage-Lots of neat children's ice cream stories!
Do you like ice cream more than just a little? We thought so...Join here.
The stories you'll hear at this site make you wanna be a part of all the ice cream action.
Think you know your Ice Cream Bible? Take the 20 questions test!
Fudgement Day and Carmeggedon will probably hurt you if you don't read the fine print in the Ice Cream Bible.
Friar Emu explains the personel of the Ice Cream Church.....From bigman Reverend Joseph... to Jose the Janitor!
The Ten Commandments of Ice Cream
Download pics of the guys and gals at the Ice Cream Church
Find out what happened to Warren's maternal mother and father.
Email: sum1shate@aol.com
