THE SNORING HUSBAND
The day he came a-wooing,
Says his most devoted wife,
I used to think 'twould easy be
With him to spend my life;
His speech was, oh, so gentle,
And so tall and straight was he,
I never dreamed how terrible
He'd prove some day to be.
I never dreamed I'd wake at night
To give his ribs a whack,
With, "Darling, please turn over,
You're sleeping on your back!"
When life was all before us
And our single path uphill,
I never dreamed the time would come
I'd wish his voice was still.
And when "for better or for worse"
To cling to him I vowed,
I never dreamed so nice a man
Could make a noise so loud;
Now, night long through I elbow him,
Until he's blue and black,
And say, "Turn over, Darling, please!
You're sleeping on your back!"
At times it's like a whistle's shriek,
At times a grunt and groan,
And then a buzz-saw at a knot,
And then a fearful moan!
There comes a second's silence
When I think he must be dead
To find he's merely paused
To start full steam ahead.
And this must last my life time through
for how can I forsake
The ghastly creature fast asleep
Who is so nice awake?!
Author Unknown
