I'm not a beauty queen. I've never been described as pretty. In fact, the only words I can recall being used to describe me are geek, dweeb, nerd, and giant flaming fat kid. My parents don't have a lot of money and I've had to suffer through a few years of school wearing clothes from a store called 'It's New to You'. Don't get me wrong, I try to fit in. I work up my astounding charm and charisma and try my hardest to 'wow' the crowd. It works for about thirty seconds until the participating party looks up and actually sees me. Then I'm back to my metaphorical corner where I sit by myself and stare at the floor.
I don't have any friends and somewhere along the line I've learned to laugh at myself and make jokes about my pathetic nature. I've stopped trying to impress other people. I've stopped crying myself to sleep at night. I've stopped caring. I'm just me and that's all I'll ever be.
My name is Adora Zai Lane. From birth, the name itself was enough to set me up for public humiliation. My parents realized this when I was five and they started calling me Adie. It didn't work. Now I'm just Adora. This brings me to my favorite of all insults; Adorable The Man-Eating Cow. Creative, I'll give them that.
I'm average height, slightly over the average weight, with long, curly, dark brown hair. My eyes are what my brother lovingly calls "shit brown" and that is exactly what they are. There aren't even any pretty flecks of gold or green. They're the epitome of shit brown.
Recently I found myself embarking in the average teenager's most enjoyable past time. Shopping. Woohoo. It's actually quite sad to watch me. I sauntered into my favorite store with the most colorful, loud, flashy clothes which suit my personality perfectly. The cashier, a beautiful little size 2, always smiles at me, thinking through her teeth, "Right, move on. Fashion Bug Plus is at the other end of the mall."
While I was fishing through a rack of long, purple and red skirts, I heard the bubbly pop-princessesque voice come from behind me, "May I help you with something?"
"No." I was honest. I didn't want her to help me. I could manage fine on my own. How hard was it to take their largest size, a 12, one size too small for me, into the dressing room, squeeze it on, and then panic because I can't get the damn thing off? I could definitely manage that on my own.
I put the pretty red skirt back on the rack deciding not to give in to public humiliation so soon on my shopping trip. I grabbed a pair of thick black boots in my size from a shelf and sat down in an uncomfortable metal chair next to the men's dressing rooms. I figured if I was going to be depressed as hell after I left the store, at least I could buy shoes or a hat or something. Maybe even a nice necklace that didn't come in sizes which only consisted of single digits?
I sighed and pulled one of the large, heavy boots onto my foot and began lacing them. I actually don't remember what happened in the next three minutes. I do, however, remember a tall figure kneeling next to me, apologizing profusely for hitting me in the face with a dressing room door.
I sat up slowly and I felt his hand on my back, helping me up. "I'm fine." I muttered, slowly standing and realizing there were about ten people staring at us. I shook off the dizziness and began to walk away. To be honest, I didn't know why two girls were glaring at me as if I just missed out on the biggest oppourtunity of my life. Excuse me? I was just hit by a metal door... My vision is blurred... I can't feel my upper lip... and dammit I'm only wearing one shoe.
I growled and walked back to the chair where I had taken off my sandles to try on the boots. I kicked off the boots and slid my sandles back on. I put the boots back into the box and set them on top of the rack where fat people put the clothes that just wouldn't fit over their thighs. I think I may have stumbled because I grabbed the rack to steady myself and half of the clothes came spilling onto the floor.
My ears throbbed with the ringing that comes after being knocked out and somewhere in the background I heard a shriek and a nervous, "Can I have your autograph?"
I don't really know what I was doing between then and the next time when reality hit me in the face, but the next thing I remember was a hand on my shoulder askign if I was ok. "I told you, I'm fine."
"Well, I just wondered because you've been wandering around in circles for about ten minutes now." He laughed lightly and I glared at him.
"I'm just... looking for my car." I mumbled and then widened my eyes. "I'm inside aren't I?"
He nodded. "Look I'm sorry I knocked you down. I didn't see you behind the door."
"It's ok." I kicked at the floor and then noticed his nice, new, pair of brown suede pants. "So I take it you found your size? Must be nice."
He looked down at his pants. "Actually I wore these here. I was trying on a shirt. It didn't fit though."
"Aha! Welcome to my world."
"Are you sure you're going to be ok?"
"PEACHY!" I think I yelled a little too loud because a girl behind me said something about me being rude to him. I guess I hadn't realized that He was in the room and I found myself wondering how to introduce myself to Him. "So, Jesus, my name is Adora." I didn't really think I had said it outloud until he laughed.
"Uhm, it's Isaac, actually." He sounded surprised that I didn't know who he was before hand. I didn't realize the snob convention was in town.
"Right, well, yeah." I grabbed my purse from the floor and straightened my shirt.
"Look, I don't really want to leave you alone. You might have a concussion or something. I have to go find my brothers. Do you want to come with me?"
"Is there pie?"
"Pie?"
"Yeah. Fruity, flaky thing you eat and go yum yum?" When I think back at the things I said to him that day, I realize now why I am such a dork.
"Right. We can find pie." He wrapped his fingers around my arm and walked with me out to the food court in the mall. I could almost feel the daggers of the girls piercing the back of my head as we walked out of the store. I still didn't know why.
I tripped over nothing three times on the way to the food court. In fact, I think I actually fell into the food court. I'd never been so dizzy before.
"Hey guys." Isaac was talking to somebody. "This is Adora. I kind of knocked her out a few minutes ago."
I looked up and smiled at the two, tall, blonde boys in front of me. Now that I saw the three of them, standing in a row, I blinked. "You know who you guys look like?"
"Who do we look like?" The tallest one asked. He was cute. Blurry, but cute.
"You kind of look like those Hanson kids. Except your hair is shorter. Well, not you. You have long hair." Then I stopped and realized the joke I'd been missing for the past twenty minutes. "You are those Hanson kids aren't you?"
Isaac laughed. "This is Taylor and this is Zac."
I nodded. "You guys live here?"
He shook his head. "We're here recording. We might as well live here though." He laughed.
For some strange reason, probably God's way of kicking me while I was down, I sneezed. "Ow."
"You ok?" The tall one who had been introduced to me as Taylor, asked sympathetically.
"I'm fine. I think your brother broke my nose. But I'm fine."
Taylor laughed and turned to Isaac. "What did you do to her?"
"I hit her with a metal door?" He answered sheepishly.
I took their moment of cute brotherly chatter to realize how quiet and subdued Zac was. I had had a different vision of him. The only time I'd ever really seen them do an interview, Zac was bouncing around and making ketchip monsters. He'd definitely grown.
As I was collecting my thoughts and shaking off the apparent blood clot that was forming in my face, Taylor and Zac disappeared and I was left alone with Isaac again. "So..." He nodded and rocked back and forth on his feet.
"If you're going to ask me if I'm ok again, I really am. My vision is back and I don't hear flutes in the distance anymore."
"Always a good sign."
"So, I guess I'm going to go now." I waved and spun around on my foot only to fall down flat onto my knees. "Or not."
He laughed and helped me up again.
"Ok you've gotta stop helping me up. That's like twice today."
"Well, at least I didn't hit you with a door that time."
"True." I laughed. I was actually laughing and joking with a boy. This was definitely something that never happened. It was such a rarity that I found myself becoming nervous. Chill. I told myself. You'll never see him again. Laugh all you want.
"So are you sure you have to go? You can hang out with me and my brothers and finish your shopping." He asked and he actually sounded genuine.
"No, I should really go. You know, put some ice on my face." Dumbass, dumbass dumbass.
"Alright. Probably a good idea." Isaac took my hand in his own and shook it. "Sorry about what happened."
I nodded and I'm pretty sure I may have blushed. I looked down at my shoes and turned around to leave.
"Wait!" He called my name loudly enough that a few people turned to look at us. Yes, Isaac, you know the perfect thing to do. Draw more attention to me and make me feel even dorkier. "Can I have your phone number?"
"Huh?" Ok, that had never happened before.
"To call and see how you're doing. I don't want to just send you home after knocking you out. That wouldn't be very gentlemanlike of me. And I'd never forgive myself if I read in the papers tomorrow, 'Girl dies after being run down by a Hanson.'" He grinned and I couldn't help but smiling. He had the whitest teeth and the nicest smile I'd ever seen.
"Uhm, I don't have a pen."
He sighed and looked almost embarrassed as he pulled a felt tipped marker out of his pants pocket. "I kind of have to carry this around. Here, write it on my hand." He handed me the pen and held out his hand.
"Oh, wait. I have a reciept." I pulled a reciept out of my purse and scribbled my name and phone number onto the back.
He repeated my name to me and it felt like fingernails on a chalkboard. "Adora Zai Lane. That's unusual. Where does it come from?"
"Adora is Latin. Zai is typical weird, and comes from nowhere. It's actually my full first name and I don't have a middle name. I just go by Adora though. It's bad enough looking like this and then they had to go and add a funky name on top of it."
He laughed. "I like your name. And... I don't think your looks are anything to be ashamed of." He trailed off and turned to reciept around to see what I had bought.
Please don't be something embarrassing. I prayed silently.
"Cheap Trick's greatest hits. Nice choice."
"Yeah I hear 'The Flame' and I go to jello." I laughed. "So, I'll talk to you... sometime."
"I'll call you tomorrow and see how you're doing."
"Ok then." I smiled and turned around, positive that I would never see Isaac Hanson again.