"So, I hear you're dating Hanson." The voice pierced my eardrums and made me sick to my stomach. I recognized it right away as the voice of Sophie, the popular, French exchange student who say behind me in Calculus during the school year. She was bubbly, blonde, tall, and thin. She was the only person in the school who got away with having pictures of Taylor Hanson plastered on her notebooks and not be teased relentlessly for it. I guess it goes along with being popular.
"Hello, Sophie." I muttered without looking at her. I was busy pushing a shopping cart down the toilet paper aisle; the best place to run into a snob from school.
She followed me. I could hear her platform sandles clicking on the floor behind me. "So, what's the deal?"
"Well, first of all, they have names. Second of all, I find it very difficult to date three guys at once." I said quietly, throwing a box of tissues into the cart. "Well, it wouldn't be for you. I've seen you do it." I whispered.
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing."
Sophie grabbed my shoulder and turned me around. "So how did you do it? How'd you get our claws into them?"
"Them? Who are you getting your information from?"
"Some of my friends saw you holding hands with Isaac Hanson in the mall yesterday. Is it true?"
I thought for a moment and then nodded. "Yes, it's true that your friends are mainly deralicts, assholes and generally flaming wads."
"Adora! You know what I mean! I need to know!" She wimpered and for a moment I thought I recognized sincerity in her eyes.
"Why is it so important that you know?"
"Because I'm a fan! I've been a fan for 4 years!"
I nodded. "Well, I'm not a fan. I've heard maybe two of their songs. I don't follow them around like puppies, swoon, and/or scream in their faces. Isaac hit me in the face with a door, we talked, and he was happy to speak to somebody with more brains than air in her head." I sighed and shook my head. "And even if I was a fan, I would be a good enough fan to respect the fact that they are going to have dates and girlfriends and lives that don't center themselves around you."
Sophie's jaw dropped opened and I feared if I said another word I'd hear it echo inside of her mouth. "So, you are Isaac's girlfriend?"
I let out a sigh of frustration and continued to push my cart down the aisle. To my dismay, Sophie followed me.
"Wait, Adora!"
I turned around sharply and found myself yelling at her. "So, it's Adora now? What ever happened to Adorable? You know, that cute little mocking name you and your cohorts gave me at school. What ever happened to your vow of never speaking to the little people? Now all of a sudden I have something you want and I'm worthy of your time? I don't think so!"
"So you do have Isaac?"
"OH MY FREAKING GOD! Get over it! I don't have Isaac Hanson, nor will I ever have him. I ran into him at the mall and we talked for a while. That's it! Now leave me alone!" I slammed my cart into her and then pushed it to the side. I think I left her standing there with her mouth hanging open.
I paid for my bag of cheddar cheese combos and left the store. I had intended to buy much more but somewhere during my little tete-a-tete with Sophie, I lost my train of thought and my appetite.
As I was walking across an intersection, I saw the last person I had ever expected to see. Sitting next to a fountain in downtown L.A. was Isaac Hanson. He had a set of headphones on his ears and he was looking down at a notebook, scribbling frantically. Normally I would pass him by and disappear into my home of dispair and self-loathing, but for some reason I found myself standing behind him, tapping him on the shoulder.
He turned around and a huge smile appeared on his gorgeous face. I can't believe I actually thought that to myself. It was usually very difficult for me to admit my attraction to somebody. "Hey! How are you?" He stood up and pulled his headphones down around his neck. Then he motioned for me to sit down on the bench next to him.
"I just thought I'd warn you that today probably isn't the best day for you to be wandering around in public." I sat down and placed my grocery bag next to me. Then I straightened my shirt self consciously as I always did when I sat down.
"What do you mean?" He asked as he closed his notebook and looked at me.
"There's an ice queen fan of yours about a block away with blonde hair and a laugh that could freeze your eardrums in a split second."
Isaac laughed. "She's really that bad?"
I shrugged. "She just gets of my nerves. I'm really glad I'll never have to go to school with people like that again."
"People like what?"
I found myself staring at him, not sure how to answer. I wasn't really sure what he meant.
He laughed. "Sorry, I've never been to real school before. Are the cliques really that bad?"
I nodded. "They're worse than you could ever imagine. It's like, if you don't spend 80 dollars on a sweatshirt that gives free advertising to Abercrombie, you don't fit into a certain group. And if you don't fit into that group, you're invisible."
"And you don't like that group?"
"I can't stand them. They judge everybody by their exterior and... I really don't know how they judge us. I've never understood it."
Isaac thought for a moment and then asked me with nothing but honestly in his voice. "So... aren't you kind of judging them unfairly, too?"
"Huh?" Nice answer. I was proud of that one.
"I mean, if you've never gotten to know these people and all you really know is what you see for five minutes before they piss you off and turn you away, then aren't you kind of judging them?"
"I... guess so." He caught me there. I'd never thought of that before. There were times during my highschool career that I assumed just because the girl was sitting next to me chatting up a very nice looking guy, and having no trouble doing so, that she was a vapid bitch with no personality and no intellegence. "I guess it does go both ways." I answered quietly. Suddenly I felt miserable. Not only was I now feeling horrible about my exterior, I was also doubting my interior.
We sat in silence for a few minutes and he scribbled something else in his notebook before finally speaking. "Look, Adora, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad or assume anything that I shouldn't. I just kind of missed out on a real highschool experience and sometimes I wonder what it would have been like for me. I mean, where do you think I would have fit in?"
"Well, before you have any regrets about having missed out on highschool, you really weren't missing much." I sighed. Then, I told him something I've never told anybody. I don't even know why I told him. It just came out. "Isaac, I can't even tell you how many times I came home from school and just in my room, crying."
"What made you cry?"
"Everything. There were days when I couldn't take it anymore, days when I was just shadowed one too many times. It didn't matter how smart I was, or how funny I was, or even how nice I was. I didn't have what it took and then I was nothing." I shook my head slowly, remembering things that happened to me. "At my school, we had pep rallies quite often. Basically they were meant to boost your school spirit and honor your fellow classmates. Do you know I was never once honored or even noticed?"
"You should have been."
"I wasn't bubbly and cute so I couldn't do one of those dance numbers to entertain the school. I can sing, but they would never give me a chance to do it in public because I wasn't Sophie, Brandy, Molly, or Sarah. I couldn't speak for a crowd or lead a cheer for the football team. I wasn't one of the elite few, and therefore, I wasn't enough. It didn't matter who I was or what I did, because I never got the chance."
Isaac shook his head and stared into my eyes. For a second I was afraid I was crying but there were no tears. There were barely emotions. I lived through the hell of being nobody to everybody but it was no longer part of my life. I had the oppourtunity of moving on and I planned on taking it. Running into Sophie was just a minor setback.
Finally, Isaac said something. "I'm really sorry."
"What for?"
"For bringing up and making you tell me. And just for the fact that you think you're nothing."
I shrugged. "You didn't make me tell you." I avoided the last part of his comment, but he continued.
"Because that's not who you are at all." There was more silence until spoke again. "I've never met anybody like you."
"Like me?"
"Granted I've only known you for a week." He laughed and I laughed also. "But seriously, I've never known anybody to be so..."
When he couldn't finish his sentence, I took it upon myself to do so. "Homely, weird, odd, incredibly intimidated by the world of popularity?" I answered in an accent.
"Beautiful."
The word hit me like a rock and I felt a sharp pain in my chest for an instant. This was a word that had never been used to describe me outside of the comfort of mom and dad. But that was different, they had to say that. My ears were ringing wildly and I panicked. I didn't know what to say or do. I stood up and took a deep breath.
Isaac stood up, too. I don't even remember what was said next, if words were even said. But I do know, that right before I left to go home, Isaac leaned over and kissed my right cheek. Then, he smiled and told me that he'd see me soon.