Beth ran her last strand of long, wavy hair through her hair straightener and shrugged at her reflexion in the mirror. She had been told so many times in her life that she was beautiful, but she still wasn't sure what that word meant. She wasn't a tomboy, she never was. In fact, today she wore a plain, long, dark purple, strapless dress, with her favorite black, vinyl jacket over it. It was still fairly cold for being springtime in Pennsylvania.
She tucked her hair behind her ears, which straighteded, reached the middle of her rear end and silently compared herself to Hoku. "If only I was blonde." She laughed and sat down in front of her computer. She set up a program so that whenever she had e-mail from Taylor, which she hadn't recieved any yet, his picture would come up on the screen. She about jumped through the roof when his blue eyes flashed before her.
To: bsparks@csrlink.net
From: Jordan1217@hotmail.com
Date: April 1, 2000 10:46 AM
Beth,
How's it hanging? Oh I hate that expression. I always wanna say "Short and shriveled and always to the left"... I love that movie... anyways.
I have to tell you about last night because if I don't I think I might freak out. I can't talk this way to anybody else because they all think they know me so well. So I heard Carter having a bad dream and I went to see her, she woke up and we ended up laying there talking for a little while. But she fell asleep so fast.
I could have layed there and watched her for so long. Have you ever loved anybody that much? There's that word, love. I'm not sure if I use it too loosely or not. I told Carter I loved her a few times in the past. And I think I told Nique that I loved her, but I can't be sure. I guess that's when you know you use the word to loosely right? So there's the question for the day.
Have you ever been in love?
Love, Taylor
P.S. Oh no, I did it again.
Beth sighed to herself and pressed the respond button. She answered his e-mail with one simple word. "Yes."
"Beth?" Her mother's voice echoed throughout the walls of the still empty house. They hadn't finished unpacking yet and the house was so new, it seemed like even whisperes echoed.
"Yeah?" Beth came out of her room and looked around the corner at where her mom was standing.
"Some boy was just here for you. I told him you were out. I thought you were out."
Beth's expression fell. "Some... boy? Was he blonde?"
"Yeah he was a hottie." Her mother nudged her and winked.
Beth rolled her eyes. "Alright I'm going out." Beth grabbed her pink and silver bag, pulled it over her head so that it was hanging in a diagonal across her chest, and went out the door. She jumped back a foot when she saw Andrew sitting on her porch. "Hi..." She started to sit down next to him, but he stood up before she had the chance.
"Wow... you look really nice. Why are you so dressed up?"
Beth looked down at her purple dress and shrugged. "I dressed like this all the time in Oklahoma... Why?"
"I guess... Jen, Rae, and Alana are the only ones that wear stuff like that around here."
"I'll change." Beth took her vinyl jacket off and turned towards the door.
Andrew laughed and grabbed her arm, pulling her back. "No. It looks better on you than them."
Beth blushed and put her jacket back on. "So... why are you out here on my porch?"
"Oh, I got locked out of my house. Your mom said you went out, and seeing as though you don't know you're way around, I figured you'd be back soon."
Beth smiled through her thoughts of "oh my god I have a stalker".
"So... I was thinking we could go for a walk to the park?"
"The park?"
"Yeah. There's this little park down the hill. Baseball fields, basketball courts, tennis courts."
Beth nodded.
"Or if you want, we could take my car and get there faster."
She shook her head. "Walking is fine." She smiled, amused by his charm. He was the kind of person who always wanted to do the right thing for everybody else.
The two of them walked, side by side, all the way to the park. Beth was silent for most of the walk, while Andrew told her about all the kids in the neighborhood. "There's the twins that live next door to you. Rae babysits them. But she hates them." He laughed. "One time when Alexia was nagging her about something, Rae picked her up, held her over her head, and dropped her."
"That's not very funny."
"No..." He sighed. "But the way she told it was. She doesn't get along with kids very much. I think they smell her fear.
Beth laughed lightly. "There's a lot of people living in the house to the left of me. Where are they from?"
"Pakistan." He laughed again. "My brother used to call them the Habibs."
Beth looked at him.
"You know... all those people you see on Married With Children that work at gas stations, and all have the name Habib?"
She shook her head.
"Nevermind. It was funny for about a week... but then everybody started calling them the Habibs, and it just got sad because they had no idea what people were laughing at. My brother was like that."
"Trend setting?"
"I guess so..."
Beth looked over at Andrew as he sat down on a swing at the park. She sat down on the one next to him and watched him as he rocked back and forth.
"What?" He asked, putting his feet down to stop him.
"You said 'was'."
Andrew started to swing again.
Beth waited a few seconds and then spoke again. "He was like that?"
Andrew shrugged. "Yeah. Things change I guess... people change."
"Oh." Beth nodded, thinking nothing more of it.
"Why aren't you swinging?"
"I hate swings."
Andrew laughed. "How can you hate swings."
"I fell off of one when I was 2. You know those one's with the built in butt? I fell off, and had 12 stitches in my head. Never been on one since. I get sick on carnival rides that rock back and forth. That pirate boat thing? Oi. Just sitting here is making me woosey."
Andrew stood up and went behind her.
"Don't even!"
He pushed her once. "You mean to tell me, you've never been on a swing since you were 2 years old?"
"Andrew, Don't! I hate swings. I'll throw up!" She squeezed her eyes shut.
"Oh come on, nobody ever threw up from swinging."
Beth put her feet on the ground to try and stop, but he kept pushing, and she continued to swing higher and higher. "Please... stop. Please!"
Andrew grabbed the side of the swing, causing her to twist around and stop so that she was facing him. He laughed. "You can open your eyes now."
"Not until you promise you'll never do that again."
"I promise."
Beth opened her eyes and laughed. "I hate you."
"No you don't."
"How do you know?"
"Because you would have jumped off."
"Huh?"
"Come on, you liked it. Swinging is fun. You're just too stubborn to admit it."
Beth made a face. "I'm not stubborn."
"You're the most stubborn person I've ever met."
"You've known me for... what... less than a week?"
"I know a lot about you."
Beth laughed. "What could you possibly know about me?"
"I know about you're sister." Beth became abruptly silent. She stared down at the ground. "What?"
"I ran into your mom yesterday while I was getting the mail. We got to talking. I asked why you moved so far away from Tulsa... and she told me."
Beth bit her bottom lip and stood up.
"I... I'm sorry if..."
Beth turned to him and glared. "What right do you have to bring that up?!"
"I just thought..."
Beth pushed the swing away from her and started to walk back towards the street.
"Beth!" Andrew ran after her and tried to walk with her.
"Leave me alone, Andrew! You DON'T know me.... And you DON'T know about my sister."
"I know she died! That's what your mom told me."
Beth stopped and stared at him. "What do you know about death?"
"My brother died last year." He looked into her eyes. "He was in a car accident."
Beth shook her head. "I'm sorry... But it's different."
"How is it different? And don't even say it's because it involves you. Because that's a stuck up, snotty, bullshit answer."
Beth shook her head. "I wouldn't say that."
"Then how is it different? You're not the only one that's lost a loved one."
Beth shook her head again, fighting back tears. She wasn't about to let a stranger see her have a meltdown. Definitely not on a public street. Cars were driving by, and she felt their eyes on her as she wiped the tears away from her red cheeks.
"Why can't you just tell me? How did she die?"
"She was sick... for a long time."
"That's what your mom said. She had met my mom a few days ago... and that's how my brother died. He had leukemia."
Beth shook her head and stomped her foot down onto the gravel, flinging pieces onto his pantlegs. "That's what my mom wanted me to tell everybody here... that she died because she was sick. But it's not true. She just didn't want people to judge us... or feel sorry for us..."
"Beth..."
"Just shut up and let me tell you before I change my mind."
Andrew bit his lip and stared at her. The little flecks of green in her eyes were blazing as her cheeks turned redder and redder.
"She had all this medication for sleep... and for pain... and everything. They kept taking all these tests and ... eventually the pills just kept stacking up and kept getting stored in the cabinet. Then they finally diagnosed her with cancer... in her bones... and..." Beth stopped as the tears started to flow. Andrew leaned forward to hug her, but she pushed him away. "I woke up... it was about a month ago... and I went to wake her up and... that was it."
"She died in her sleep?"
Beth shook her head. "She took every single pill she had. She killed herself. She was so angry with everybody. She wrote in her journal that they gave her all those pills... they had to expect her to take them." Beth wiped her eyes. "So... is it different from your brother?"
Andrew nodded. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it happened a month ago. I wouldn't have brought it up. I just thought we might have something in common...."
"I just want to go home ok?"
Andrew nodded. He walked with her in silence, all the way home.
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