Katerina sat quietly on Jenn's bed, staring at her. "So I guess you still want an explanation, right?" After Taylor left her house, she went straight to Jenn's house, feeling guilty.
Jenn simply nodded and watched as Kat laid back so she was staring at the ceiling. She waited a few minutes, listening to Kat breathing and watching as she closed her eyes. Finally she spoke, almost in a whisper.
"When we were little, we met at the park. We were friends for a long time until they went out to record their first album. Then we just kind of drifted apart."
"So... that's it?"
Kat nodded and opened her eyes.
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because. I didn't even want to remember it. So instead, I spent the last few years being mega bitch. It helped me to forget all that crap."
"All that crap? I've only known you for a few years but... whenever you talked about your childhood you made it seem like it was the happiest time of your life."
"It was." She shrugged. "Shit changes, Jenn. People change."
"So you're not even going to try to be friends with him now?"
"I don't know." She lied. She didn't want Jenn to know how much he really meant to her. She didn't want anybody to know that. Telling somebody would involve opening up in a way she hadn't been able to do for 5 years.
"Are you ok?" Jenn asked, seeing a strange look in her friend's eyes.
"I'm fine. Look, I'm gonna get going." She looked at her watch. "It's late, and I'm tired. I'll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can go to the mall. Ok?"
Jenn nodded, shocked. Katerina had never offered to call her before. She'd never made plans a day ahead before either. Kat was the kind of person who showed up at Jenn's house because she was bored, and then ignored her for the rest of the day. She never really understood their friendship but whatever had changed Kat's mood, she hoped would stay in her life.
An hour later, Katerina crawled into her bed wearing a black tanktop and black underwear. She covered herself with her thick, dark red comforter, and laid her head on her soft red pillow. She closed her eyes and rolled onto her side and within minutes, she was asleep.
She wouldn't remember when she woke up, but she dreamed about Taylor. Her dream was sad. Taylor was saying goodbye to her again and she knew that it was goodbye for good. He reached forward and ran his fingers through his hair before kissing her sweetly on the lips and leaving her forever. She woke up crying.
With her eyes still closed, she was surprised to still feel his hands in her hair, sending chills up her spine. She shivered and opened her eyes. The room was dark and her vision was blurred, but she could see somebody sitting next to her on her bed. She gasped and jumped back.
"Shh..." The figure whispered and she instantly recognized his voice.
"Taylor? What are you doing here?" She asked. He shushed her again and placed his fingers against her lips. She stared at him and could see that his cheeks were flushed, as if he'd just ran a long distance... or climbed through a bedroom window. "What are you doing here?" She asked again, whispering.
"I couldn't go. I got the the airport and I couldn't get on the plane. I called my mom on my cellphone and she understood. They don't need me there until tomorrow night." He smiled down at her and then frowned suddenly. He ran his fingers across her eyes and she closed them lightly. "You were crying..."
She shook her head. "My eyes always water when I wake up. You scared the crap out of me."
"Sorry." He laughed lightly. "I just wanted to stop in and see you. I figured we could hang out tomorrow, just the two of us."
She nodded. "I'd like that."
Then Taylor stood up. "So call me tomorrow when you wake up, ok?"
"Wait... don't go." She sat up and pulled her covers around her waist, suddenly aware that she wasn't wearing very much clothes. Note to self, sleep in pants. She blushed. "I mean, you just got here."
"It's late. I don't want your parents mad at me for being here."
"Then let me come with you." She looked at the window. "I'll walk you home at least. It's safer that way." She smiled, quoting him from the first night they were reunited.
"Ok." He smiled and waited for her to get up, but she didn't.
"Uhm. Can you turn around for a minute?"
He gave her a confused look and then shrugged, turning around to face her closet door.
Kat jumped out of bed, grabbed a pair of jeans that were sitting in a pile in the corner, and pulled them up over her hips. "Ok. We can go now."
He looked at her and laughed. Your hair is sticking to your face. He said, reaching forward and pulling a clump of hair that was glued to her cheek with sweat. She blushed and then he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist giving her a firm hug. "Ok, let's go." He let go and climbed out the window onto the roof. Then he jumped down and waited for her. When she jumped, he caught her by the waist and steadied her.
They walked hand in hand to his house. "I wish I lived further away." He muttered and Kat looked at him, surprised.
"Huh?"
"Then it would take longer to get there..."
"Oooh." She laughed.
He frowned as they stood on his porch. He didn't want her to go. "Look, I know you were just supposed to be walking me home but... can you come in? Just for a little while? I want you to do me a favor."
"A favor?" She shrugged. "What kind of favor."
"Please?"
She sighed and smiled. "Sure..."
Taylor pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. He lead her inside and threw the keys onto the endtable in the hallway. Kat looked around. The house was still too bright, she sighed, still too happy. She shook the thought from her mind.
"So what's this favor?"
Taylor grabbed her hand and led her down the hallway to the basement door. They went downstairs and Kat's eyes lit up when she saw the room they used for their music equipment. On one side of the room were two sets of drums, two sets of keyboards, a large black piano, a set of bongos, and six guitars, among other various instruments that weren't quite as conspicuous. On the other side of the room was a living area with a tv, vcr, and a couch. "Play for me."
"What?" She asked, her eyes widening.
"Play something." He pushed her forward so she was standing behind the piano.
"Tay, I can't..." She nervously twirled the silver bracelet around her wrist.
He reached down and pulled her arm up, pointing to the silver music note. "Yes... you can."
Kat took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. There was no way around it, he wouldn't give up until she played a song for him. She nodded slowly and fooled around for a few seconds with the keys, getting comfortable with the piano. Then, she sat down, closed her eyes for a moment, and began to play. Her fingers barely touched the keys as they flowed through the music. She played him one of her favorite songs of the moment and she found it very hard to not cry through the lyrics.
I'll give my all or not at all. There's no in between. I'll give my best, won't second guess this feeling deep in me. You make me want to love you. With every breath I'll love you, endlessly. I'll give my heart, give my soul. I won't hold back. I'll give you everything, all of me, completely.
She took a deep breath as she continued to play. She was cursed to the point where once she began a song, she couldn't end it, even if she wanted to.
You fill me up with your love. Oh I just overflow. When we touch I can't get enough and I want you to know; You make me want to love you. With every breath I'll love you, endlessly. I'll give my heart, give my soul. I won't hold back. I'll give you everything, all of me, completely.
Oh. You make me want to love you. With every breath I'll love you, oh, endlessly. I'll give my heart, give my soul. I won't hold back. I'll give you everything, all of me, Completely.
She finished the last chorus of the song and the last chord of the music and stayed still for a minute before finally breaking the silence. "This is a really nice piano..."
"What was that song?" He asked and she finally noticd that his face was bright red.
"It's called, 'Completely'. It's by Jennifer Day but I haven't been able to find anything else of hers. They used that song for the movie 'Where the Heart Is'. Why?"
He shrugged. "You're really good..."
She bit her bottom lip. "So are you." Then she smiled at him.
"I'd forgotten how great your voice was. You should perform... like in public."
Kat laughed.
"What? You should."
"Right. That's going to happen. Because I just have this great stage presence. People will come from miles away to see me. They'll even hold up signs with lyrics to my songs on them." She laughed again.
Taylor sighed and walked the length of the basement, sitting down on the couch.
Kat blinked hard and then followed him to the couch. She sat down next to him and leaned back, staring at the spot on the wall that he was staring at. "We're very very different. People love you, Taylor. I'm just one of those people who loves music more than life itself, but doesn't know what to do with it. I'm not going to be like you, no matter how much you want me to be. I can't write music and I refuse to just go into a recording studio and play other people's crap. I'm not going to do that. And even if I did, people wouldn't listen to me. I'm just not... you guys are captivating. People want to see you, they want to hear you play. I'm just me."
"You used to write poetry." He turned and stared at her.
"I still do. But poetry is a far cry from music. I try to put my writing into music but I just get frustrated and... that's how keyboards end up on my front lawn. I've gone through eleven of them."
Taylor laughed. "We have to work on your temper."
Kat smiled and sighed. "You want me to be more than I am."
"No, I don't."
"You always have. You've always wanted me to be more like you. I'm just... not a people person. I'm just worried that you aren't going to be able to accept me for that. You always used to look down on me."
"What?!" He asked, sounding angry.
"You did. When you wanted me to sing with you guys when you were practicing and I said no, you'd get mad and you wouldn't talk to me. I wasn't as good as you and you always knew that."
He stared at her, his eyes intensely blue. "I never wanted you to be more than what you are. I always thought you were the greatest thing in the world and I felt bad because I couldn't get you to show that to anybody else. I spent years of my life trying to get you to open up to everybody else the way you did to me. I wrote you music, Katie. I wrote you song after song and put them in a box up in my room. I wanted you to sing them someday. Everything was you. Everything I did revolved around you. Every song I wrote reminded me of you. Every note I played... would have sounded better if you were playing backup..."
Kat didn't give him the time to finish. She reached behind his neck and pulled him to her, kissing him hard. She didn't know what to say and the words wouldn't have come anyway. She laid her head down on his shoulder and hugged him. Nobody had ever said anything like that to her before and she didn't know any other way to react.
Taylor ran his hand across her back and inhaled the scent of her hair. "I love you, Katie. I have always loved you..."
Never Again
Kat, Jenn, Milo, and Lars
My First FanFic Awards
My Other Stories