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Planet Ass Page

Welcome to the Planet Ass portion of the site, dedicated to the recording project of the same name. Here you'll find:

Greetings from Planet Ass... As some faithful "Ass"ians might know, I haven't updated my site in a loooooong time. However, despite my apparent neglect of the Planet Ass Web Site, I've been busy with a bevy of new projects, particularly in the music category. I've been working for the past year and four months (though quite leisurely) on my Ffej's Career Capsule: The Evolution of Ffej in a Box - a boxed set containing 6 hours of music culled from my personal archives of recordings, which charts an almost 20-year career. This ultimate compendium will also contain a thick-ass booklet of ffacts, ffun, ffolklore...and all that is Ffej! Also, there will be an abbreviated companion issued as well, Ffej's Abbreviated Career Capsule: Highlights from the Box...for those who are wary to dive right into a ffull-ffledged Ffej assault. I've also been recording the follow up to Planet Ass...Helping to Make the Ozone a Better Place, a full-length album featuring 13 tracks recorded between April and December 1998 on my newly purchased 4-track. Aside from that, my other recording project, Cosmic Vending Machine, has been busy for the last year or so, recording our album Shape Shifter, which should be done in May sometime. It will contain 10 tracks featuring rock, pop, space, experimental, groove and psychedelic moods, plus more. Plus, I've been busy playing in a local Beatles cover band, Number Nine, in and around Berks County. So, needless to say, I've been rather busy doing the music thing. One last tidbit of information...I've been busy coming up with ideas for an Original Music Community, called The Upper Crust, which is comprised of recording artists/bands who need to be heard! If anyone has any ideas, or would like your band to be included, please e-mail me! Thanks for landing! Now back to our regularly scheduled program!...
I don't remember exactly when the phrase hit me, but it came to me sometime between my second and third semesters at Penn State University, State College, PA -- the actual model for Planet Ass. Planet Ass is a collection of songs which spawned from the "Ffej's Album" project sometime around January, 1996, but soon became the name of the project and the "band", as well as the title track of the album of the same name (and consequently this Web Site as well)! And so, Planet Ass was born . . . or shall I say founded.
Here are some lyrics . . .
I live in this place/Big ole college town
Where all the people stink/and all of them are brown
One big ball of butt-nuts/that has a lot of mass
Soon you'll be landing/down on Planet Ass
Planet Ass has no grass/Just toilet bowls and natural gas
Think it's time for my little shuttle/to lift off Planet Ass
Planet Ass the place to be/It's heaven for the trendy
And dairy sells, especially cheese/Planet Ass, the place for sheep
Planet Ass - Lots of mass
Planet Ass - Natural gas
Planet Ass - Suck my Ass!
I met this guy up at Penn State, this campus radio DJ. He called himself Nigel, but his real name was John. Anyway, he seemed cool because he liked the Beatles. However, that wasn't the case. Well, he did like the Beatles, but he wasn't cool. As a matter of fact, he turned out to be one of the biggest idiots I've ever had the displeasure of knowing. He was Blather's Kite's "manager" for about 2 months, and he did "dick shit", according to Matt, our bassist/vocalist. So I decided to write a song especially for (and about him). Here are the lyrics . . .
You try to set the record straight/but where is all the give with take?
Working hard is no big deal?/Isn't that what others feel?
You like to take the credit/for others' well-spent time
and you want that ten-percent advanced/while you haven't even earned a dime
Get out of my way/'cause I've got something to say
Mr. E/you're a mystery
Simple hints and obvious clues/never find their way to you
Managing my life your way/"You'll never be that certain egg!"
So I try to turn my life around/You call, I shoot you to the ground
My mind at ease, your thoughts, astray/I'm the twenty bucks you never made
This is me and Sonny during a recording session for the first Planet Ass EP (titled Planet Ass) in February 1996. Sonny's the little guy with the long blonde hair. He supplied lead guitar and support vocals to the song "Planet Ass".
Track listing for Helping to Make the Ozone a Better Place, due out this year...
1. Aloe Vera
2. Driftwood
3. Planet Ass (The Ozone Friendly Mix)
4. Humditty
5. March of the Worms I
6. The Healer Within the Radio
7. Route 54
8. Driving Across the Desert
9. Lucy
10. The Fly Beat Keeper
11. March of the Worms II
12. Eve's Eden
13. Lift Off
Soon you'll be landing!
As far as the status of Helping... goes, I am currently in the process of digitally mixing the songs to DAT and will most likely be adding select overdubs to a few songs here and there. Hopefully, the album will be done someday!
E-mail me to find out how to get a copy of Planet Ass, or recordings by Blather's Kite, Bunker Hill, Johnny Disco Shoes & The Teenage Blondie Ninja Dragons, Cosmic Vending Machine and other Upper Crust artists!
"Humditty Humditty Hum...Suck my big hairy ass!"
Coming soon... Two NEW Planet Ass releases - Are There Rings Around Uranus? and Pure Ffej

Other Places to Visit on Planet Ass...

Home
Ffej
Footwear
Rush
Balther's Kite

Email: ffeg@fast.net