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THE AISLE SEAT - "BIG DADDY"

by Mike McGranaghan


Big Daddy is the latest comic misfire from Adam Sandler, a comedian who is like nails on a blackboard to me. I can't stand the way he always insists on playing someone obnoxious and abrasive. It's a routine that just doesn't make me laugh. I realize there is a wide audience for his films (all the bad reviews in the world couldn't keep The Waterboy from becoming a blockbuster). Therefore, anything I say will probably be ignored by Sandler's fans, who will write me off as just another high-minded critic harping at their favorite clown. So let me say this: I wish that I understood the appeal. I wish the guy made me laugh. The simple truth is - I don't, and he doesn't.

This latest movie is particularly appalling to me because it not only features tons of the comedian's trademark obnoxious humor but also shamelessly pandering attempts at pathos. You know that moment at the end of the annual Muscular Dystrophy telethon when Jerry Lewis - punchy from 23 straight hours of broadcasting - comes out and soberly sings "You'll Never Walk Alone" before bursting into tears? Big Daddy is exactly like that, stretched out to 95 minutes.

Sandler plays Sonny, a lazy slacker whose girlfriend (Kristy Swanson) dumps him for lacking maturity. Soon after, the illegitimate child of Sandler's absent roommate is dropped off at his door. Thinking a child will make him seem more responsible, Sonny keeps the kid, hoping to win his girl back.

Is there any point continuing here? You probably can guess that the self-centered Sonny grows attached to the kid (after teaching him all kinds of bad habits, of course). And there is the inevitable scene in which a social services worker threatens to take the little boy away from Sonny. There's even an obligatory romance between Sonny and a cute lawyer (Joey Lauren Adams).

My objections to Big Daddy are many, but here are the most prominent ones:

  • Too juvenile. Want to know the kind of insight this movie has about children? They urinate a lot. I swear, there are no fewer than 6 scenes in Big Daddy in which the little boy pees on something (2 different restaurants, a tree, a plant, in the bed, and once - gasp! - in a urinal). You know what else kids do? They throw up. Projectile style. If that's too lowbrow for you, perhaps you will enjoy the scene in which the kid repeats a swear word he heard somebody say. There are also about 20 jokes aimed at a character who used to be a waitress at Hooters restaurant. After a while, the movie seems to think it's funny just to keep saying "Hooters" at any given opportunity. And here's a sample of the crackling dialogue:

    Sonny: You wear diapers?
    Kid: No.
    Sonny: You wipe your own ass?
    Kid: Yep.

  • Too predictable. Sandler's movies always follow a well-worn plot and never once add an original variation. This one's no different. If you've ever seen a movie in which a crusty adult softens after spending time with an adorable child, you've seen this one. There's not a single moment of cleverness or wit in the whole film. The ending involves the stereotypical courtroom scene where Sonny must fight to keep his "son." It's a long bit in the film, made longer by the fact that it's blatantly manipulative. You can feel Sandler and crew trying to forcibly yank a tear from your eye. This may be the single worst courtroom scene I've ever witnessed in a motion picture.

  • Too obnoxious. I think this is the 3rd time I've used that word in this review, but I can't think of another one that is more suitable. Sonny teaches the child to trip roller bladers, spit, and relieve himself in public. I had a hard time being sympathetic toward this character's paternal attempts. The kid will probably grow up to be a psychopath, yet we're supposed to root for him to stay with Sonny.

    In fairness, Big Daddy is not as vile as The Waterboy, although it's close (I'd like to see Sony use that quote in an ad). I did enjoy the performance from Adams, who was excellent in Kevin Smith's Chasing Amy, and the one from Jon Stewart as Sonny's roommate. But the bottom line is that I did not laugh at Big Daddy. I mostly looked at my watch and counted down the minutes until the agony of having to watch this idiotic movie was passed.

    ( 1/2 out of four)

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