For those of you who haven't been included in the Flavour of the Week Mailing, this is especially for you, dammit and you will like it. So spoke the Great Celestrial WeeSaul.
The Bathroom that is trying to kill the Great Celestrial AntiHuman Thingie...
Once upon a time there was a happy little bathroom was came unto this world a happy, shiny pink...
All pink except for the commode, bath tub, and sink...
Floors, walls, tile, all of pink...
The happy, shiny bath was then put up for adoption and it's new mummy and da-doo decided that Jr. needed a new look, a new groovier style...
Gone were the pink walls and pink vinyl tiled floors, and in came white walls and a gold carpetted floor...
But the adoptive parent folks grew tired of the responsibility of raising such a groovemiester...
So again Jr. went up for adoption...
And it just so happens that the Great Celestriablah-blah (me, dammit!) is happening down yonder in the neighbor of Jr.'s soon to be ex-adoptive parents and the Great Celest(get on with the story, o Great Masochistic One) spies with his little eye - a sign, not a large sign, not a small sign, but a sign that is just the right size to catch the eye of the Great Me, dammit! Upon this wee l'il sign (cute in a sign kinda way) is printed "For Sale with a must see to believe bath" (OK, it didn't actually say that but I'm an artist and I'm suffering here, gimme a break)...
So, I, the Blah-blah, took vast sums of money and adopted Jr....
Jr. was so groovy, so retro, so 70's that it reminded me off the days that I for the most part don't remember...
So, Jr. once again needed a make-over...
A vision, John Lennon, "Imagine", white, all in white the whole freakin' place in white!
White! White! WHITE! (having flashbacks at the moment, sorry)
Imagine all the people using Jr....
WHITE!
So began the make-over...
The Whatever removing everything of colour, everything...
And thusly begun the creation of the vision, John Lennon singing on the pot, imagine that if you will...
The items of colour refused to be removed without a struggle, a war between the forces of good (that's me, Herc. That's me, Herc) and the armies of pink and gold...
After much shedding of blood, my blood which flowed much as a crimson river upon the armies of pink and gold, I was victorious!!!!
I won!!!
Now I must make it all white, white, WHITE!!!!!
White the colour (not actually a colour) of purity and pure shall be Jr....
Work AntiThingie, work...
Unfortunately Jr. proved stronger than he seemed at first and all the trouble I went through in the first place was for not...
In the end only the grooviest survive...
MINE!!!!
WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOO-HHHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Actually July 21 or 21 July whichever you prefer...
(For those taking notes: that makes me a Cancer and a WeeBit Crabby)
"The Better Life" by 3 Doors Down
If I go crazy...
Then will you still call me Superman?
hhhhhhmmmmmm...
Guess you'd be crazy than I...
Noted Pee-sychologists reading this will gladly help ya out...
For a small fee of course...
Edy's Dreamery
Nuts about Malt
So malty, I must be nuts...
Due to international viewing of this feature
Remember all brands and/or flavours are
NOT available everywhere!
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Ben & Jerry’s |
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Häagen-Dazs |
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Breyer’s |
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Dreyer’s |
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Edy's Dreamery |
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Godiva |
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