Phantasmagoria
Drifting through a world of darkness, and then, a nothing even less than the darkness which was the all of existence so very shortly ago. And then, a tree, and the tree has seven branches and one of them bends low and a pear comes from the tree to rest nearby and its taste is very bitter, but somehow perfectly delicious in every way.
And then, the tree fades because everything eventually must, and the nothing is left behind and a feeling of confusion and loneliness is left in its place and the feeling overcomes the very spinal chord of existence, and then the world decides to fall away and the sensation of falling is incredible.
And falling lasts forever, and it doesn't seem like it will end, and perhaps it doesn't! So the falling goes on and images flit past, broken pictures of things that could be important, a man wearing half of a golden mask that looks to be an insect but is a dragon; the man is robbing a liquor store and he carries a gun that is made of plastic.
A carrot, half eaten, lying in the place between life and death. A lamb, crying aloud to a world that doesn't hear it because no one listens to the weak ones and so when the lamb dies it dies unheard. And then the falling stops and so many more images have passed but they are forgotten, and the falling is over and that is all that matters.
The world is new and it is composed of orange, and the orange permeates the essences of life, the being of the world. The orange penetrates to the very core, and it doesn't hurt but somehow it leaves a feeling of intense loneliness and so of course it is time to flee the orange and into a world of red, and the red feels so good, so right; the red feels like maybe the world isn't really that important, like maybe nothing could go wrong, and relishing the red is all that matters but the red can't last forever, no matter what anyone says.
Red spreads throughout, but it dims very slowly until only gray is left and the feeling that is left behind is so indescribably crushing to the insides that running away from it all seems the only choice, but the gray is everywhere and there is nowhere to run so the gray takes over and soon the falling starts again, the pictures, an alligator who has been shot by a hunter, but it can't die because it feels it must protect its young.
A piece of orange plastic lies in a gutter painted yellow; it is misshapen and has several strange protrusions sticking out at odd angles poking to the sky as the world wakes up, not even knowing it is there. A young man sits and thinks to himself that the world would be better off without him, and he raises a knife to his wrist never knowing that if he had allowed himself to live he would have saved millions of lives.
A piece of paper, crumpled up and forgotten, that holds perhaps the most important thing ever, and the poem written on that paper could change the world, but the poem is thought of by its writer as stupid because the writer does not believe in itself, so the world remains the same as the paper slowly decomposes.
And a dream that no one can remember.
The falling stops and the floor sways as the world tries to come into focus, and soon everything seems okay........but the tree is there again, and the pear, and the whole process must begin again....forever.
BACK to the writing page.
Email: awl109@psu.edu
