Do you ever feel like this?
You're not alone. There is a growing discontent
with Chapelsnap's future.
Five candidates will be vying for your vote
this November, and the city
will never be the same.
Garrison Wabash
(Pro-Pancake Party)
is the nine time
incumbent
mayor of Chapelsnap. Winning over Mayor McPoodle
nearly two decades ago
on the platform of "Eat it or Beat it", Wabash
fulfilled the community's
breakfast leanings while kicking all Vietnam
Protesters out of town. He has
run unopposed since then, but with the death of
Frank Sperling, the town
is a bundle of frazzled nerves.
Clem Lawson
(Anti-Pancake Party)
is the current mayor of
Chapelsnap's rival town of Weltsville. His entry
into the race is
shocking, because of his well-known hatred
for Chapelsnap. He claims he
can "merge the two towns into one metropolis-
maybe even get a library
for the town."
Bill Oakenthorpe
(Bull Lemur Party)
told reporters he
felt
"as fit as a Bull Lemur" when questioned about
his obesity. Twenty-one
years old, Bill is already a prominent citizen,
due to his work in the
community. His most famous achievement- The yield
sign at the corner of
5th and Juicy.
Martin Iambic
(The Coming Out Party)
,7 foot 4 inchs
tall, claims he's "twice the man Ross Perot is."
A millionaire and hobby
sod farming enthusiast, Iambic declared his
self financed candidacy in
the rubble of the Winkhouse building, where he
once found a Susan B.
Anthony Dollar. His slogan: "Like lost change,
I will amount to
something."
Snappie
(Greenback Party)
has
never officially been
seen, but a petition with sufficient signatures
for candidacy was mailed
anonymously to city hall last week. Professor
Juntha has compared this to
the Loch Ness Monster's recent role as Scottish Ambassador to Kenya, but
few of the other candidates see this as relevant.
