Man on NYC street: Yeah, I think I drove through it once.
Rooney and some people haven't...
Man on Subway: Snapplechap? What's that?
Rooney: Either way, we've all heard the name "McPoodle". But the small town of Chapelsnap is vital for our story, because everyone in the McPoodle family was born there.
Bill Oakenthorpe:I mean it's a shame what they became, but it's not our towns fault what they turned into. We loved them. We repected them. It was the McPoodles themselves who are responsible.
Rooney: Bill Oakenthorpe should know, he grew up with the youngest of the clan: Shawna McPoodle.
Oakenthorpe: I mean, I'd go over their house after school and it was like... chaos. I can't believe that with all that exposure to their ways that I turned out all right. Of course, I wasn't in the house long enough to be rendered impotent.
Rooney Professor Milton Shanghi, local historian pertaining to all things Chapelsnap explains:
Milton Shanghi: Soon after the first McPoodle arrived on the shores of this country, the entire clan arrived to join him.
Rooney: That first man, Phillipe McPoodle, put up the first lean-to on the spot that is now Chapelsnap in 1854. Soon, his three brothers, Mac, Shod and Litrench, joined him, and the town charter was established. So how, from these humble beginnings, did this family end up extorting 56 kilos of Uranium 235 from the government.
Shanghi: Of course, every physicist knows the name of Enrico McPoodle, who designed the tailfins that were eventually left off of ICBM missiles in 1954. Pressure from other members of the family forced McPoodle to take drastic measures. Only by lining his kitchen with radioactive waste could he hope to avoid their treachery.
Oakenthorpe: His motives were pure. Had he not made the entire town uninhabitable from being irradiated, Dr. Enrico McPoodle would the true hero of this century.
Rooney Recent evidence indicates that ground water contamination from the neighboring town ofWeltsville had afflicted the McPoodle's drinking water for decades before. It is perhaps this that influenced their insane actions.
Shanghi And of course the children paid the price.
Rooney: So how did this once illustrious family end up on the runways of local strip clubs... Zambra McPoodle I am not a whore.
Rooney ... and porno movies?
File Footage: Sexy McPoodle.
Wille McPoodle I mean how else could you end up man you know? I mean it was like Mom and Dad gave us a bong for Christmas and we're like 5 years old and totally strung out on New Years Eve. I mean, really.
Rooney Oldest Son of the last generation of McPoodles, Wille McPoodle is a newspaper columnist in nearby Springfield.
Wille McPoodle I mean I can't blame Zambra or Sexy. I mean, with a name like Sexy, did she have any choice but to become a porn star? Come on.
Rooney: Lesley Stall gives a live interview with Shawna McPoodle, next week on Sixty Minutes.
