
	Above: Chapelsnap's famed Photomat, in an undated file photo.

(AP) Chapelsnap - Person or persons unknown slammed a hovercraft into Chapelsnap's lone Photomat early this morning, reducing (or elevating, depending on your outlook) the town's most potent symbol of Capitalism to a pile of planks and negatives. 1.5 people are reported missing - proprietor Minnie Schepps as well as longtime customer and sideshow staple Timmy the Torso.

Reaction has ranged from outrage to fury. According to earwitnesses, persons involved may have had an accent of some form, leading local curmudgeon Head McBody to exclaim, "All foreigners must go!" at a riotous town meeting immediately after the incident. "I second that, " offered Native American tribal leader Chief Executive Officer.

In a potentially related incident, a runaway zamboni slammed into the Drink 'N' Stink Liquor outlet at 7th & Understatement at precisely the same time. Chapelsnap Specific Hospital was overrun with injuries, including employees Jimmy Chivas and Tibberious Regal.

Above: Timmy & Minnie, in marginally happier days.

Syndicated Humorist Sidney O'Sidney mocked the events in his daily column, claiming the media at large had taken a biased view of this unparalleled, unmitigated, unspeakable horror. He was found tarred, feathered and tarred again soon after. Between beatings by assorted network newsanchors, O'Sidney commented, "This sucks," summing up the mood of the region.

"We don't want anyone taking the law into their own hands, unless they have huge hands, " said a solemn Mayor D'Vaccum while visiting the scene.

Looming large as a suspect is expatriot Chapelsnapper Shawna McPoodle, whose previous stunts in the name of environmental advocacy have left dozens of Namibians maimed. Currently hiding out in Weltsville and supported by their government, McPoodle is a mysterious figure. Reports of financial support by Chapelsnap for her war on illiteracy during the 80's have been largely suppressed by the local media. D'Vaccum demanded she be handed over immediately, or else "Binklop will be TP'd."

Inexplicably, Chapelsnappers have been hording canned Bell Peppers and the Chapelsnap Stock Index (CSX) fell to 1 in midday trading.

Additional reporting by Grover Hapsberg