The Post Office Conspiracy

by Nicole

I was waiting in line during the holiday season to mail some packages home to my family when a thought hit me. Who really runs the country? Is it the Masons, the Illuminati, the CIA? Bill Clinton, Congress, the American people? Is it a top secret organization that no one knows about? No, it's none of the above. The true rulers of our country, and perhaps the world, is the United States Postal Service! Think about it for a moment, millions of letters, bills, and packages are mailed out every day in the world. We put our money in an envelope, lick the stamp, and drop it in a box and pray that it makes it to the electric company before they shut of our power. We rely on the post office for everything. They have the power to get our phones turned off, leave us without running water, turn our credit up side down, and leave us homeless. All they have to do is misplace a few letters, which they do all the time and get away with. The worst part is, they don't even have to atone for their mistakes.

This Christmas season my mom sent me two priority mail packages on the same day. The first one arrived within a week in perfect condition. The second one arrived two weeks later, the sides completely ripped open and the box was wrapped in saran wrap to prevent further damage, as if that would be humanly possible seeing as how the box was destroyed. Even though it was an insured package, all I got for this mess was a note telling me that the post office processes millions of pieces of mail a day and sometimes stuff like this happens. They even had the gall to suggest that perhaps the sender didn't do a good enough job securing the box. My Mom bought the box from the post office! Essentially, what they were saying is 'We're the post office, we run the world, be happy we were even kind enough to get the package to you in the first place. We can do whatever we want and you just have to deal with it because you're at an APO address and UPS doesn't ship there We're all you got you foolish little girl so don't even try to mess with us or you'll never see another piece of mail again. HA HA HA HA (evil laugh)" To further pound their point into my head, a week later I received an envelope from the manufacturers of Aleve. It was supposed to contain a free sample, but the envelope was open and empty.

The Post Office knows that we couldn't survive without them in, even this age of email and internet shopping. I think they love that power. They love knowing that they can ruin any holiday, birthday, or anniversary just by not delivering the mail on time. They have more power than the government and all the top secret organizations in the world, because lets face it, everyone relies on the postal system, and there is really nothing we can do about it. Back to Contents