The unofficial Philadelphia Flyers' info page

Philly News columnist Les Bowen, "Gretzky knows it’s time to retire now,; he’s finally slow enough to get hit by Luke Richardson."

Ranger President Neil Smith on Eric Lindros’s errant stick, "One of these days somebody’s eyeball is going to be rolling around the ice and (Lindros) is going to be skating around saying, "Geez, I didn’t know I did it."

"At least I don't need a mask for Halloween now." -Andreas Dackell, on the hit by Eric Lindros

"He clearly left his feet and his elbow hit him in the head." -Rick Dudley, Senators GM on the hit

"It was a clean hit, the guy ducked." -Bob Clarke answers that

"There's a lot of relief when you go through a stretch like that. It's nice to be able to get the monkey off your back. Hopefully, I can turn this around and be able to contribute more as the season progresses." -Chris Gratton, on scoring his first goal

"The first two periods, I had a blast. The third period (stunk). You want to play well when you go against a team you played for. But tonight, it didn't work out." -Vancouver's Garth Snow, on his return to Philly

Eric Lindros joked on winning the Flyers training camp ‘Most Fit’ award, "They never had a trophy before."

The ice surface at the Flyers practice facility is 185' long and so the neutral zone couldn’t be shrunk to reflect the new NHL rink dimensions. Coach Neilson, "If we shorten the neutral zone, we won’t have one."

Bobby Clarke on power player Hayley Wickenheiser of the Canadian Olympic team and her invite to the Flyers training camp, "She kind of plays like John Leclair, only I think she’s a little meaner."

Really funny Top Ten Lists, courstesy Bruce Bennett Studios:

Top 11 Reasons Philadelphia Hired Roger Neilson As Coach:

Game Night Revue - St. Louis, MO

11. Wanted a new coach in place before Eric Lindros recovered from his concussion.

10. Because of all those Stanley Cups Neilson won as a coach.

9. Got a kickback from Pepto-Bismol because they knew Jimmy Roberts' intake would go up. 7. Wayne Cashman was spending too much time partying with Jeffio.

6. Bobby Clarke wanted Neilson to teach him how to program his VCR.

5. Thought Neilson would make a better scapegoat than Cashman after this year's playoff flop.

4. It was Neilson's turn to be recycled.

3. Anyone who learned his trade under Orval Tessier and Bob Pulford has to be a genius.

2. Everybody wants Neilson's hairdressing secrets.

1. Part of a league-wide plan to have Neilson coach every team at least once.

(From the liver of Jeffio)

© BBS NEWS SERVICES/ All Rights Reserved

You know you're a "real" hockey fan when.....

By Bud L.

1. You say PUCK so much that you're Mom doesn't slap you for it anymore.

2. You'd rather drive a Zamboni than a Ferrari.

3. You know every player's nickname, even the player's you hate.

4. You know the difference between the "Garden", the "Gahden" and the "Gardens"

5. You admire a beautiful goal, even when it's scored against your team.

6. You equate the Montreal Forum, the Maple Leaf Gardens, the Boston Garden and/or Madison Square Garden with Mecca or Jerusalem.

7. You consider the Stanley Cup the Holy Grail.

8. You consider the Holy Trinity to be Wayne Gretzky, Gordie Howe and Bobby Orr.

9. You can SMELL the ice.

10. You consider the greatest moment in sports to be Team USA's win over the Russian's at the 1980 Olympics in Lake Placid.

11. You cried when Wayne Gretzky retired.

Humpagoalie, Denver, Colorado

TOP 10 REASONS HOCKEY IS BETTER THAN SEX...

10. YOU GO IN 1-2 MINUTE SHIFTS 9. THE PUCK IS ALWAYS HARD

8. THE PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT IS REUSABLE

7. IT LASTS A FULL HOUR

6. YOU KNOW YOU ARE FINISHED WHEN THE BUZZER SOUNDS

5. YOUR PARENTS CHEER WHEN YOU SCORE

4. A 2 ON 1 OR 3 ON 1 IS NOT UNCOMMON

3. IT IS LEGAL TO PLAY PROFESSIONALLY (Pornos are legal and so is prostitution in some places)

2. YOU CAN COUNT ON IT AT LEAST TWICE A WEEK (If the sex is good, you can count on it every day)

1. PERIODS ONLY LAST 20 MINUTES

Top 10 Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting:

10. Goalie removes an article of clothing for each goal allowed.

9. If the Zamboni goes less than 50 mph it blows up.

8. Canadians must play in bare feet.

7. Replace hockey sticks with live flamingos.

6. Just barely visible under the ice: the frozen body of Walt Disney.

5. At some point in every game - exciting police chase in the stands.

4. Actually have Jason from "Friday the 13th" skating around in his hockey mask trying to kill guys.

3. Instead of an ice rink, a huge red-hot griddle covered in bacon grease.

2. One word: blindfolds.

1. Lose the puck and goals - and make it a 4 period free-for-all. (Watch a Dallas/San Jose or Detroit/Colorado game, they are 3 period free-for-alls)

Q: Whats the difference between Jagr and Pamela Anderson?

A: ask Alexandre Daigle

Q: What is the worst feeling for a Flyers Fan?

A: Being in Madison Square Gardens on tie giveaway