Things to annoy people

TAKEN FROM "LIFE'S LITTLE DESTRUCTION BOOK" BY CHARLES SHERWOOD DANE 

     Take the hotel towel 
     Pay tolls with $100 bills 
     Practice the art of limp handshakes 
     Tell the ending of movies 
     Give little kids clothes for their birthdays 
     Leave the toilet seat up
     Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic 
     Finish other people's crossword puzzles 
     Use the last square of toilet paper 
     Tailgate the elderly 
     Drum your fingers during other people's presentations 
     Blow out other people's birthday candles 
     Don't leave a message at the beep 
     Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot 
     Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways 
     Eat produce at the market; don't buy it 
     When giving directions, leave out a turn or two 
     Toss things out the window: tissues, cigarettes, cellophane food wrappings and those sorts of things 
     Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April 
     Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures 
     See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window 
     Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations 
     Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons 
     Go up the down escalator (B.P., this means you) 
     Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines 
     Snap your gum 
     Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off 
     Open umbrellas in crowded hallways 
     Announce when you're going to the bathroom 
     Read over other people's shoulders on the bus 
     When it says, "Reserved Parking", this means you 
     Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want 
     Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower 
     Chew other people's pencils 
     Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair 
     Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces 
     Tell teenagers how things were in your day 
     Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation 
     Pee in the swimming pool 
     Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in 
     Wear large hats during the movies 
     Forget the pooper scooper 
     Race the old woman for the last bus seat 
     Cause gridlock 
     Bring 15 things into the dressing room 
     Draw mustaches on posters 
     Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back 
     Serve TV dinners, wine coolers, and cherry Twinkies on Thanksgiving 
     Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you 
     Touch strangers 
     Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus 
     Bite your dentist's finger 
     Fart in cramped places 
     Leave lipstick prints on people's cheeks and foreheads 
     Don't stand during hymns and anthems 
     Dance fast to slow music and vice-versa 
     Rubberneck 
     Leave pages in the copier 
     Be "in conference" all the time 
     Don't clean the dryer lint screen 
     Buy it, wear it, return it 
     Tell people they have bad breath 
     Smell smoke often and announce it 
     Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet 
     Put everyone on speakerphone 
     Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you 
     Rain on someone's parade 
     Make scary faces at babies 
     Flirt with a friend's spouse 
     Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team 
     Pretend you're listening 
     Shake with your left hand 

Go to The weather Page of N3PBQ Space information
Friends of the web Sports from PBQ Music links
Some humorous stuff Television's broadcast frequencies
Email: n3pbq@yahoo.com