The story of the woman with 2 butt cracks
It's not really epic, I just like the way it sounds
It was a week before finals started for us freshmen at SHS. Most of us were happy to be excused from the last 2 classes of the day to attend the moving up ceremony for the class of '98. (Congrats to the class of '97 by the way!)
Everyone filed in through the small gymnasium doors and took their seats among their class. Long processions of people then followed (the Juniors and Seniors) and they took their seats in the center of the Gym on folding chairs. The assembly began and everyone was hushed for the announcements of the awards and scholarships.
About an hour and a half went on like that and by then, our asses were asleep and we became restless. Everyone's mind was wondering, when suddenly, IT walked in front of our freshman bleacher. *Mind you, I have nothing against "large" people, just dumbass Stroudsburgers.* We weren't so restless then. Everyone was pointing and whispering about...the woman with 2 cracks. You simply could not tell if she was comming or going! This woman had consumed so many pork rinds, twinkees and other artificial delights that her rolls of fat had become vertical! The large reservoirs of fat tissue on the right and left sides of her stomach formed a perfect ass crack! I kid you not.
Only about 15 minutes remained of the assembly but no one took their eyes off the ass crack on the wrong side. After we were dismissed, groups of friends formed on the loading dock next to the buses, every conversation containing a tidbit or 2 of the woman with 2 cracks. Even my own started, "Did you see..."
Well, now I suppose she'll go down in high school yearbooks with a funny comment. Joining the likes of Enis the rent-a-cop, the security gaurd that highlights as a stripper and of course, the janitor that bums a smoke off the kids hiding in the bathroom.
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Email: scjc@epix.net