I hear tell that he first came to earth becuz of a tennis match. I dunno how true that is... it’s just a rumor.

Either way, he managed to convince people that he was the son of god. A lot of people even believed that he was god. They sure followed him around like one. Jesus, people r stupid. but damn, that boy loves attention. Myself, i think it’s just cuz he has low self-esteem.

He has the tendency to tell people that the thingz they love the most are sins. He’s got a wicked sense of humor, that one.

He even managed to convince them that my best friend (sweetest most cuddly cat u ever did meet) was evil. and that my house was some kind of bad place... just becuz i have a tendency to light shit on fire now and then. ::rollz eyez::

people will believe anything if it comes from a pretty face. And he alwayz did have one of the prettiest faces i ever saw... and that devilish smile, ohh... be still my heart.

a lot of people say he’s gonna have a 2nd cumming. but i speak with absolute certainty when i tell you, he’s already here. His followers really were the first to forsake him.

So anyway... he has a love for tacos that rivals even Gir’s. Likes to order a the supremes even tho he wont touch tomatoes. And literally, i mean wont touch. he’s gotta use a spork to remove them. only a spork will do, u know. anything else is blasphemous.

For this very reason, we make a lot of tripz to taco bell. One particular excursion stickz out in my mind.

We’d finished eating, and we were going to leave. as Our LoRd and Savior goes to exit the door, some choad is coming in. In an effort to either be helpful or a dick (we never did figure out which) he holds the door open... but stands in front of it with his arm blocking the way.

To cover all bases, christ courteously thanked him, drew back his arm, and punched him right in the face.

That kat’s got quit an arm on him. sent the choad flying into the wall, cracked his jaw, and left a smeary, gooey, bloody mess for the employees to clean up.

Then he causally walked out to his car, turned on some SenteNced, and cruised away.

did i forget to mention that christ is meTal?

Christ is meTal. Alwayz remember that. No matter what those damned christianists tell you. (Even if he is too pretty to be meTal... with the black eyeliner & nail polish & dyed hair & type o negative poster... and just ignore that sisters of mercy shirt. Really. he’s NOT a goth. I swear.)

Annnnnnyway, a lot of people try to talk religion with him. try to Get him to believe that same delusional bullcrap they do. I don’t know why they bother. I mean, the guyz and atheist.

And seeing as how is IS our loRd and sAvior... i THINK he would know.

Jeez-oo.