It began with a dream....
One freezing January morning in 1934, Arnold Linto woke up screaming
from a nightmare in which he was being beaten to death by man-sized waffles.
"I'll show those bastards who's boss," his wife recalled him muttering
decades later, and before the day was out, he'd purchased a truck and
painted the word "waffle" on the side.A beginning...
Experimenting in the kitchen for weeks, Linto neither ate nor slept,
not until
he'd concocted the most delicious waffle known to Western Civilization.
It's recipe remains a mystery, but supposedly includes a high nutmeg to
surface area ratio.
Linto's
homemade
business took off, and soon he hired seven women of ill repute from
Chapelsnap to keep up with the demand. Strangely, despite massive sales,
he wasn't making any money. Flour was disappearing from the mill, and
Chapelsnap's pancake industry was booming. Linto called himself a failure
and was discovered the following morning with a self inflicted waffle
wound to the cerebral cortex. The town, nay, the world, was shocked.
The true story emerged. Soon, The Chapelsnap Seven were indicted on
fraud charges and burned at
the stake. Since that time, a bitter rivalry has existed between our
towns. It'll be another cold day in hell, like the one poor Arnold Linto
had during Roosevelt's first term, before we give up!
Do it for Linto!
Had enough?
- 1)Waffles taste great!
- 2)Weltsville makes the best Waffles!
- 3)Waffles make great gifts!
- 4)The largest waffle ever was 243,955 tons and made by God!
- 5)The most maple syrup ever consumed was 2 gallons in 2 minutes by
Rodger Hampton at the Weltsville Hippie Rally '69. He died 27 minutes later!
