GAMES Magazine has recently listed Weltsville's annual Flizbit tournament. Amongst the most important and strategically decisive games since the advent of GO, Flizbit, according to recent research, indicates is unknown amongst the more ignorant populace of this foul and undereducated nation.
For a generation of Americans raised on Flizbit, it is difficult to imagine how life would be different had it never existed. Such a question is for historians to ponder; meanwhile, we're left with an enduring legacy of cutthroat competition which mirrors Darwin's natural laws, capable of tearing friends apart, as well as bringin enemies into each other's arms, as a healing spite-mitigating balm. As many confused southerners say: Viva Flizbit!Flizbit, also known in the gaming world as FRONTGAMMON, may be the most original American game. Combining physical skill, intellectual prowess, social fortitude and dumb luck, Flizbut arose from small town cynicism. In a letter to a local newspaper in the summer of 1977, former seaman Captain Yee-naw Liberty proclaimed the traditional boardgame "...dead, dead as goddamn doorknob...a rueful corporate joke played on American by loveless, souless suit and tie types." Challanged by rival newpaper the Weltsville Inquisitor to "do something about it," an enraged Liberty disappeared into his garage for over a month, emerging with what Newsweek has dubbed "The Last Game." Using spare parts which include a bike chain, a two by four, broken glass, and rules inspired by Highlights magazine's "Goofus and Gallant," the first model of the greatest selling home game of 1983* was completed.
* in Chapelsnap and Weltsville.
Email: weltsville@juno.com
