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Risus Rednecks 
Risus Recipe Extra 

Serving size - Any  
Serving Suggestion - (over 21) with Beer and pretzels
- (under 21) with Root Beer and chocolate pretzels  
Prep time - However long it takes you find Six Sided Dice plus 20 seconds per Redneck served.  

Redneck Cliches
Biker   (can fix a Harley, knows backroads, drinking, brawling,motorcycle riding, personal connection to other bikers)  
Militant   (public speaking, distributing anti-government propaganda, automatic weapons, amateur military skills, wear camoflague, paint ball, knowledge of classic war movies, planting radishes, conspiracy theory)  
Recreationist   (costume creation, historical accuracy, saber rattling, melodramatic acting, theatrical combat)  
Trailer Trash   (use of snow plow, drink beer, use cb radios, talk show trivia, lie, petty theft, haul ass, wrestle, gerry rigging, light industrial work)  
Trucker   (run the big rigs, knows where to get a good meal, amphetamine use, fighting, country music knowledge,mechanic, dirty joke telling)  
Weekend Cowboy   (middle management skills, SUV driving, tv remote use, fashion sense, carousing)  
Weirdo   (looks funny, not from around here, obscure technical knowledge, talking to self, bad luck, hiding, knows where unemployment is)  
Yokel   (whittlin', still operation, brothel finding, whiskey drinkin', dirt farmin', shotgun use, chewin' out dumb-asses, kickin' ass, spittin', etc )  

Other Folks!

Yeah Yeah I hear what ya goin' a say. A weirdo ain't no Redneck! Well for the sake of this argument they are. It covers all borderline Redneck quasi-types. Other folks such as townies (sherrifs, barbers, bartenders,et al.),wanderin' preachers, Elvis Impersonators, and Bigfoot is left entirely to the gumption of the motherscratcher who has the nerve to call demselves The Big Cheese (BC). This ain't no rocket science, Einstein!
Settin': Where are ya and what the hell are ya doin'?

Settin'? Sure am! Huh? Can't you see I'm busy? Wrastlin's on! You want a back story? Bend over and I'll put my foot in your back story! Oh wait...Commercial's on! I'll make it quick! If you need a date and a year use a phone book. It's got color maps and everythin'! It's a BC's best bud! And what the hell are ya doing? Ask your mama, fool ! If you mean do I have any good ideas you can steal, here's some stuff that'll do ya good. Dukes of Hazzard, Weekly World News, Redneck Rampage, Solid Gold, Wizard of Id, and any other Proper American Entertainment!.Whoa! Shut up will ya! Stone Cold Steve's On! Before ya leave could ya grab me a beer?


Redneck Seeds
    Seed One : What ya want?

  • One redneck runs into another type of redneck. A bad scene develops.


  • example - Weekend cowboy walks into a biker bar, ready to line dance.


  • example - Trucker breaks down near a trailer park and wants to use a phone.


  • example - Yokel is kidnapped by Militants so they can use his farm as a base of operations.


  • example -Weirdo shows up at a Civil War Recreation thinking its a renaissance fair

    Seed Two : What are ya lookin' at?

  • One redneck screws over another redneck. A bad scene develops.


  • example - A Biker squabble over whose old lady is whose.


  • example - A Trucker 'steals' another Trucker's route.


  • example - Two Weekend Cowboys fighting over a prime parking space at Doc Holliday's.


  • example - A pair of Yokel Families bickering over a piece of land between their two properties.

    Seed Three : Gimmie That!

  • One redneck drinks with another redneck. A bad scene develops.



  • example - they're too many to list.




Warning! Do not operate heavy machinery!

No offside betting allowed. For entertainment purposes only. And don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out! YEE-HA!!!



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Created by Greyshirt, March 10 2000 on less than eight hours of sleep in the last 24. Do the math. Assisted by Caffeine and Invention.