Statistics
Birth era: 6/1980
Height: 5'6"
Weight: 120lbs.
Sexuality: single, strait.
Faith: Christ
self classification: Glamgoth
mental anquish: social anxiety and dpression
non smoker
Are we Really individuals?
Or do we simply feed off of our enviroments which mold us into who we are?
Well, my name is Pain (self dubed).
Beacuse it is what i am so prone to obviously.
My head is usually a wreck...packed with frustraion, disapontments in myself, and a constant striving to make myself something it seems i will fail to be. Or at least that is what my experiences have labled me as. But I know the answers...I know that truth. I know that i can not do this on my own as we all try to. I know i need God to take care of the things I cannot do alone. And I am currently working on expanding my faith in him, allowing him to take the things from me that i cannot handle. I need to continue to learn, expand my mind, and remember to look to him always. We were created with free will, sometimes i wish we were not. Because we have now tricked ourselves into beliveing we are independent, and strong. This is so far from the truth.
I live in Western Pennsylvania.
I attend the Art Institute of Pittsburgh for Multimedia and Web Design. When i am finished, i plan on moving to the aproximate vacinity of Clearwater Florida, Virginia, and possibly eventually Ireland.
I am fragile, frail, and burnt.
Its seems as though if i dont know someone, i avoid them entirely...to avoid the pain of rejection or the possibilty of misrepresenting myeself to them, or not relating to them. I am currently working to learn how to love in a way that is nondependant, patient, giveing, and unselfish. I wish to be able to apply this love to everyone, along with my acceptance that they may not be able to love me in the same way...it is simply that their eyes have not been opened yet. I will learn acceptance of the things I am unable to change.
The latest update I really have is that i seem to have lost myself. Im having a hard time remembering what was important to me. Ive been really lost lately...just moving through school and work, no real sense of identity...just kinda, am who i am. Im not really too proud of this period. I wish i could get back to who i am. But until then, i suppose i should just concentrate on school, and realize that God will fogive me for all that i screw up. Im trying to concentrate on being a bit more respectable, as i make my way through this last quarter of school. I graduate in september and i might be moving somewhere else. When I arrive at that place, I don't want to hold onto a negitive outlook or attitude. I want to surround myself with things that will ease my mind, and allow me to relax a bit more, but not to the point where I stop careing entirely like those who are so many. I am currently a shell of who i was when i described myself in the past.
To learn importnat things about how i work, and what i am, i suggest you look at the other pages on this site.
Those writtings are my voice...the voice some are not able to hear.
