A Guy Worth Fighting For
A Parody by Suz

Yes, this is a parody of Wilder and Zippel’s “A Girl Worth Fighting For.” The characters are: me aka Suz/Patria M/Pa-Tria, Diana aka R, Karen aka Mei Sing/Jam-Yai, and Dana aka Tian Ning.

Suz, Diana, and Karen riding their horses thru a village with Dana following:
For a long time we’ve been
seeing men in battle
Diana:
And on the whole
they act as dumb as cattle
Karen:
But there is one man
who doans a cape
the one you can’t ignore!
Diana:
And who is he,
A guy worth fighting for!!
Dana:
What?
Suz points to Shang riding away on his horse:
That’s him right there!
A guy worth fighting for!

Dana misses Shang so the others attempt to describe him to her.
Karen:
He’s got a lovely back
the muscles make you swoon
Suz:
His voice is something else
like the dark side of the moon
Diana:
Of course it’s not just what he wears
or what he looks like,
But also what his personality’s like
Funny
Karen:
Smart
Suz:
Sensitive
All three, while Dana rolls her eyes:
Sigh!!

Diana tries to distract Suz:
Look over there
I think he’s quite a charmer...
Suz sees guy and dismisses him:
The guy I want:
he must look fine in armor
Karen notes:
But if he works out
without a shirt
I’ll like him even more!
Suz:
What do we want?
All three:
A guy worth fighting for!!!

Suz:
My man will love me for my voice..
Diana:
Adore me for my mind.....
Dana, hesitantly:
Uh…how ‘bout a guy with yellow eyes
who’s brute strength blows one’s mind?
Suz, Diana, and Karen make faces:
Nah!
Karen pictures Shang in her mind:
His manly ways
his handsome face
and his wide shoulders....
Diana:
Ooh, yes, now there’s a lady-killer
Suz nods feverently

Karen acts haughty:
My Shang, he will love me unlike all the others....
Suz mutters to Diana:
Yeah, my Shang will always love her like a sister...
They all see Shang’s horse grazing near the gate to a garden, they dismount their horses.
All three:
But when I walk in, he’ll see my face and forget that She (referring to Mulan, of course) was born!
Karen:
What do we want?
All three:
A guy worth fighting for!
Diana:
Wish that I had
All three:
A guy worth fighting for!!!
A guy worth fighting.......

All three walk into a garden and freeze seeing Shang and Mulan holding hands. Scene switches to teahouse where Suz, Diana, and Karen are sulking and attempting to get drunk on tea and rice wine.
Suz: Blah.

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