The Playing Pig

A guy walked into a bar with a pig and asked for two beers, one for himself and one for the pig.

The bartender said 'Sorry sir, we don't serve pigs. You'll have to leave him outside.'

The man replied 'Ah, but this is no ordinary pig. This pig can play the piano.

The bartender, disbelieving, said 'Yeah? Get him up there, let's hear him play.'

So the pig walked up to the piano, pulled out the stool, racked his pig knuckles and started to play beautifully.

The bartender was amazed and immediately offered to buy the pig. But the owner said 'Sorry, that pig is a close personal friend of mine and I can't possibly sell him.'

Anyway, the pig became a regular and started pulling the crowds into the pub. The bartender became rich, and was eventually able to offer $500,000 for the pig. Eventually, the sale was agreed to.

Two years later, the same guy came back with a dog. Gone was the old bar, it had been replaced by a huge nightclub called 'The Playing Pig,' with the pig on stage in the center. So the guy walked in and ordered two beers, one for himself and one for the dog. The bartender was about to refuse when he recognized the guy.

'So,' he said, 'What's special about the dog?'

'Well, this dog can sing.'

'He can sing! Well get him up on stage with the pig, let's hear him!'

So the dog went up on stage and started singing along to the pig's piano playing.

This was repeated every night for a couple of months, every night the bartender offering to buy the dog and getting the same reply 'Sorry, the dog's a close personal friend of mine and he's not for sale.'

One night, the bartender said 'Look, I've got to have that dog. Here's a million dollars, the keys to my private yacht and the deed to a villa in Spain. Take them, in exchange for the dog.'

So the deal was struck. Six months later, the same guy's back again. The bartender's obviously pleased to see him.

'So, what have you got for me this time?' The man deposited a set of keys and the deed to the villa on the bar and handed over a check for 1 million dollars.

'Look,' he said, 'I have a confession to make. I've been living with the guilt for six months. I can't keep your money, or your yacht, or your villa.'

'What's the matter?' asked the bartender. 'What's the confession?'

The man looked at the bartender and said 'The dog can't sing, the pig's a ventriloquist.'