It seems this guy had been experimenting with an unusual method of seeking autoerotic gratification; namely, inserting a live fish into his butt.
~~PLEASE DONT TRY THIS AT HOME~~
What he hadn't counted on was the fish's scales acting, in effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes that allow you to drive over them one way but puncture your tires if you try to go the other way. So you can imagine how much pain this dumb a$$ must be in while attempting to pull this fish out.
In his pain and panic, he dialed 9-1-1. The EMT arrived, surveyed the situation, and said, "Son, you gotta learn to chew your food better."