10. You know...I just wouldn't feel safe out there without that restrictor plate.

9. Gee...the race doesn't start for another five minutes. I think I'll climb out of the car and sign a few autographs.

8. This new bodystyle seems to give our cars a distinct advantage over the competition. I think nascar should look into this immediately.

7. You know ... it sure is good to see Gordon get a win after that long dry spell he's been going through.

6. Look -- it's John Boy with a garage pass! Hey big guy -- over here!

5. I sure wish Miss Winston would stop pinching me on the butt during driver introductions!

4. Gee guys...some of this stuff under the hood looks a little fishy to me. Let's get Gary Nelson over to take a look.

3. Those new t-shirt designs are a tad gaudy. Can we tone em down a little bit?

2. I'd like to thank the Prince of Darkness for my victory today.

...And the number one thing you'll never hear a NASCAR driver say...

Ford ... Chevy ... heck, what difference does it make, really?