Top Ten Signs You've Joined The Wrong Church

10. Ushers ask "Smoking or nonsmoking?"
9. Regular pastoral retreats all seem to be in either Las Vegas or Atlantic City.
8. Church bus has a gun rack
7. Instead of the King James Version, pastor uses a copy of "The Shooter's Bible."
6. There's an ATM machine in the lobby.
5. Worship services are BYOS: Bring Your Own Snake.
4. One of the deacons keeps telling you he's still married to Carmen Electra.
3. Ministry staff consists of Pastor, Assistant Pastor, and Socio-pastor.
2. Women's quartet are all married to the preacher.
...and the number one sign you've joined the worng church...
No cover...but there is a two-drink minimum.