COLLEGE STUDENT DAILY SCHEDULE

  6:45  roommate** gets phone call, stumbles about, wakes me 
  7:30  roommate's alarm 1, wakes me 
  7:45  (version 1)roommate stumbles out of bed to shower wakes me 
  8:00  roommate comes back and bustles about thus keeping me awake 
  8:20  roommate leaves for breakfast 
  8:30  (version 2)roommate overslept, scrambles about for class, keeping me 
        awake for the duration of the rest of my sleepytime 
  8:37  alarm 1 (hit snooze) 
  8:41  alarm 2 (hit snooze) 
  8:47:59  lunge towards the alarm to avoid the piercing agony 
  8:49  fall off bed 
  8:50  bathe 
  9:00  make coffee 
  9:10  wake up 
  9:20  realize class starts soon, begin to look for pants 
  9:29  realize will be late for class, put on pants 
  9:30  search for shoes, coat, etc., realize no time to brush teeth 
  9:32  slither past scary maintenance man coming out of bathroom, briefly 
        wonder why he looks so happy 
  9:35  arrive at class, third one there 
  9:40  music theory fun at last, ten minutes down already 
  10:00 begin praying for merciful death 
  10:45 class out early, rush home to nap 
  11:00 roommate comes home, neglects to look in other bed, blasts gangsta 
        rap 
  11:10 realize nap is inevitably ruined, fume 
  11:45 roommate leaves for lunch, resume nap 
  11:50 friend calls to inquire about lunch plans, nap foiled again 
  12:00 knock on door, friend arrives, frantic search for pants 
  12:15 ewwwwwwwwwwwww sodexho 
  12:30 search again for sustenance 
  12:31 bitter disappointment sets in 
  12:45 queasy sodexho feeling overwhelmed by hatred of theory class 
  12:59 arrive at class two steps ahead of professor 
  1:00  listen to sappy romantic period tonal music, movement 1 
  1:20  movement 2 
  1:45  movement 3, daily contemplation: why? 
  2:10  movement 4, oh the pain; teaching asst. arrives 
  2:15  fun with dr. beat (creative melodic dictation) 
  2:30  dr. beat gives up, rush home to nap 
  3:00  head for computer lab 
  3:10  greet my lifeless loser computer geek friends 
  3:45  begin to dread band 
  4:00  begin to openly blasphemies band 
  4:15  attempt to open locker containing horn with careful accurate turns of 
        the dial. 
  4:17  fucking lock won't fucking open 
  4:19  attempt to access horn with randomly generated numerical sequence 
  4:20  rush upstairs, who needs to warm up, we're all perfect 
  4:45  send hate waves at conductor till approximately 
  5:00  rush home madly for simpsons, spread homework on floor 
  6:00  marriott, part deux, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww 
  7:00  gather homework and head to work 
  8:00  still not working 
  9:00  still not working 
  9:35  realize there are less than twelve hours left, start working 
  9:45  quit early 
  10:00 rush home to find roommate masturbating, hide with neighbors 
  10:30 check room, eeeek still, continue hiding 
  11:00 blissful vegetation 
  12:00 send any visitors away, bathe 
  1:00  sleeeeeeep in the hideous pulsating blue glow from roommate's new 
        lava lamp