A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them play very well. So, they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first.
After the pro sees his swing, he says, "NO, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard! Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your wife's breast."
The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and WOW! He hits the ball 250 yards straight up the fairway. The man goes back to his wife with the good news. The wife can't wait for her lesson.
The next day the wife goes for her lesson. The pro watches her swing and says, "NO, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard. Hold the club gently like you'd hold your husband's penis."
The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and thump. The ball goes straight down the fairway, about 15 inches.
"That was great," the pro says. "Now, take the club out of your mouth, and swing the club like you're supposed to!"