 | Domestic![[Good and Evil]](/pa2/fanny/angel_151.gif)
..............Violence
Remember you are not alone,
help is just a phone call away.
What is Abuse? - A Warning List
Many women don't think of themselves as abused.
They may not think of themselves as battered.
Many victims don't see the things their partners do to
them as abusive, and they don't see them as a pattern.
Abuse is about control. It is one person scaring another
person into doing what he wants her to do.
It is not just one hit. It is a pattern.
Abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, economic.
It can also be criminal. It is usually a whole series of
behaviors used to get and keep control.
Here is a list of questions for you to ask yourself.
You don't need to answer yes to all of them to have been abused.
Has your partner ever...
hit, grabbed, choked, bitten, burned, slapped or pushed you?
used a gun or a knife or some kind of weapon against you?
hit you with some object like a bat or pan or belt?
hit, held or squeezed you so hard that it left a bruise?
threatened to hurt or to kill you or your children or your friends?
withheld money or food or medicine or transportation from you?
called you names, made you feel ashamed of yourself, humiliated you?
put you down in front of your children, your friends, your boss?
forced you to have sex when you did not want to?
forced you to perform sexual acts you did not want to?
destroyed or broken your possessions?
threatened to harm or kill himself if you do or don't do something?
Posted from: "Domestic Violence Handbook"
I Got Flowers Today
I got flowers today....I got flowers today
It wasn't my birthday or
any other special day.
We had our first argument
last night,
and he said a lot of cruel things
that really hurt me.
I know he is sorry and
didn't mean the things he said
because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
It wasn't our anniversary or
any other special day.
Last night he threw me into
a wall and started to choke me.
It seemed like a nightmare
and bruised all over.
I know he must be sorry,
Because he sent me....flowers today.
Last night he beat me up again.
And it was much worse then
all the other times.
If I leave him what will I do?
How will I take care of my kids?
What about money?
I'm afraid of him and scared to leave.
But I know he must be sorry,
because he sent me flowers today.
I got flowers today.
Today was a very special day.
It was the day of my funeral.
Last night he finally killed me.
He beat me to death.
If only I had gathered enough courage
and strength to leave him.
I would not have gotten flowers today.
Copyright? Sept 91
Allen "Two Trees" Dowdell
A little of the background for "I Got Flowers Today"
In Oct of '91, the author wrote the poem 'I Got Flowers' for a friend.
Her husband was about six feet tall, she was 5' 2" and blind.
She not only didn't know when the next incident would occur,
she couldn't even see the blows coming when it did.
I did not write the poem to win her, but to get
her to find the strength to get out of that situation.
She is now well, alive and my wife.
Allen "Two Trees" Dowell (Scotland)
![[Domestic Violence Ribbon]](/pa2/fanny/dvribbon3.jpg)
The .38
I hear the man downstairs slapping
the hell out of his stupid wife again
I hear him push and shove her
around the overcrowded room
I hear his wife scream and beg for mercy
I hear him tell her there is no mercy
I hear the blows as they land
on her beautiful body
I hear glasses and pots and pans falling
I hear her fleeing from the room
I hear them running up the stairs
I hear her outside my door
I hear him coming toward her
outside my door
I hear her banging on my door
I hear him bang her head on my door.
I hear him trying to drag her
away from my door
I hear her hands desperate on
my doorknob
I hear the blows of her head
against my door
I hear him drag her down the stairs
I hear her head bounce from
step to step
I hear them again in their room
I hear a loud smack across
her face (I guess)
I hear her groan - then
I hear the eerie silence
I hear him open the top drawer of
his bureau, the 38 lives there
I hear the fast beat of my heart
I hear the drops of perspiration
fall from my brow
I hear him yell I warned you
I hear him say damn you I warned you
and now it's too late
I hear the loud report of the thirty
eight caliber revolver then
I hear it again and again
(the Smith and Wesson)
I hear the bang, bang,
bang of four death dealing bullets
I hear my heart beat faster and louder
- then again
I hear the eerie silence
I hear him walk out of their
overcrowded room
I hear him walk up the steps
I hear him come toward my door
I hear his hand on the doorknob
I hear the doorknob click
I hear the door, slowly open
I hear him step into my room
I hear the click of the thirty eight
before the firing pin hits the bullet
I hear the loud blast of the powder
exploding in the chamber of the .38
I hear it emerge into space from the .38
I hear the bullet of death flying
toward my head the .38
I hear it coming faster than sound the .38
I hear it coming closer to my
sweaty forehead the .38
I hear its weird whistle the .38
I hear it give off a steam like noise
when it cuts through my sweat the .38
I hear it singe my skin as it
enter my head the .38 and
I hear death saying,
Hello, I'm here!
By Poet Ted Joans
A House With Many Windows
She lives in a house with many windows,
The view from each, obscured by bars.
She walks through empty rooms,
Where her children once were.
She stares at a silent telephone,
That once rang with the laughter of
family and Friends.
Her mind is jumbled and confused,
When did one day stop and another begin?
Appeasing him, is her only goal,
As she nurses the bruises inflicted on her body,
Sometimes her heart but, mostly her soul.
By....Copyright ? 2000 Sara Kennedy - All rights reserved
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LINKS
NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE
VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
Domestic Violence Handbook - Table of Contents
IMPORTANT PHONE NUMBERS
IF YOU NEED HELP
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TDD)
OR
EMERGENCY 911
Thank you
for visiting my page,
I hope I have helped someone.
You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
And, you can get help.
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