Someone said "How can you not like birds?" with a twinkle in their eye "They're so fluffy and cute!"
What?
I have a bird phobia. Ever since i was a kid sitting on the roof of my old apartment. A fat peach coloured spider fell out of the sky just a few feet in front of me. While it was on the edge of the roof, I watched it a bit as it rolled around. I wondered why it only had two big fat stumpy legs. Out of curiousity, i slowly walked to the edge of the roof to look at the strange fat two legged spider.
Twas no spider. It had big red bulging eyes and a spiky little beak. I saw it's little bird tounge moving when it squawked. It's wrinkled bluish pink body wiggled around at my feet.
I tried to run away but i was so sick my legs moved while my head stayed looking at the bird. When i finally did get inside i said nothing but "There's a big fat spider bird on the roof" then sat on my bed and rocked back and forth.
The worst part is when i was watching "It", you know the made for tv Stephen King movie. One scene where their opening the fortune cookies and the bird came out of one. That was the spider bird. Tounge and all.
After this experience i could not eat anything that reminded me of birds. Peeled oranges, fortune cookies, noodles, cheerios and oh goodness not chicken.
It's still going on today, 8 years later. It's hard to avoid birds when you live in the city. Birds are everywhere. EVERYWHERE! I stomp so they know i'm coming and they fly away so i don't have to look at them. The pigeons know me as the "freaky phobic bird chick".
tweet tweet boom
