Jack Hanna is such a happy person around animals. He'll sit with monkies and talk about his life. They're the only ones who understand. It makes me wonder what's REALLY going down with this freaked out happy animal guy.
I want some Jack Hanna trash. No one can be that great to animals without wanting to escape this cruel cruel world of humans. I seen him on Maury Povich with his elephants (maury is obviously happy with connie because he ran like hades when he sw it) I'm thinking, all right! this guys wife has some major problems. Then i turned the sound up. Jack and the elephant were just friends. Doh.
So i'm still wanting some Jack Hanna trash, staying around the warn glow of my Zenith all day waiting for Jacks ride on the aminal happiness wave to come crashing down. He's on Letterman, Regis and Kathie Lee, Larry King and Good Morning America. All smiles. Him and his sufari suit and hat. Come on Jack, do something whacky! All he does is sit their with all his adoring big eyed animals making cutsie noises and telling anyone too close "Hey Hey, that (thing) might bite ya!"
If i can't get trash, i make it up in my mind! So here's Jacks story... He's a divorced 40 year old, desperatley trying in any way to get his wife back. He goes on tv with all his furry friends. Ah here's what you don't see... Before everyshow, he gets his trained monkies to run into the back and rig the tv show so that every 15 seconds, a small subliminal signal flashes at the bottom left corner of the screen, visible only to the eyes of his wife (don't ask how this is possible, i know those monkies know too much) She stares at the tv screen then BAM brainwashed. Now she wants Jack back but can't tell him cos well, she's intimidated by his fame and friends. What's Jack gonna do know? I say try the right hand corner of the screen, buddy.
baaahhh-ka
