Sorry I am a little late in getting this posted. I finished it up last night and went to post it but was not quite satisfied with it. So I slept on it one more night and finished tweaking it this morning. Enjoy everyone! Thanks for the lyrics from Crystal MacLeod.

Incidentally, the character is from the season 4 episode, The Colonel. (Just in case someone doesn't recognize her!)


Disclaimer: The concept of Highlander and its characters do not belong to me. I am only borrowing them for a short time. No harm is intended. Enjoy!


Taking Control


by Sandra Adair



*Black was all around her. She knew she had opened her eyes but she quickly closed them and opened them again just to make sure. She could still see nothing. She felt the first sliver of fear as she wondered if she had gone blind. Wanting to touch her eyes to make sure they were open, she tried to raise her arms, only to find she couldn’t. Fear quickly became full blown terror as she attempted to raise her arms a second time and again could not budge them. Next she tried to move her legs but, just like her arms, she was unable to use them. Seconds went by as she struggled mightily to move one of her arms or legs, all to no avail. She could feel some sort of cloth covering her mouth, gagging her. Panting heavily, almost sobbing, she tried to control her panic and think. She could feel the chair under her so she knew she was not dead. She could feel and taste the material in her mouth with her tongue. She was awake. She just couldn’t see, talk or move. Where was she at? What was happening to her?

Suddenly, she heard a soft whisper of sound and felt the first satiny prickle of tiny legs crawling on the bare skin of her arm. Holding herself very still, she felt it begin to crawl up her arm. She felt another one beginning to crawl on her other arm. Then all at once they seemed to be everywhere. She felt one moving in her hair, there was one on her shoulder and she could feel several crawling on her legs. Panic completely taking over, she began to struggle furiously, trying to free her arms so she could brush the spiders off her. She could feel them, hundreds of them, crawling all over her. She could hear the soft whisper of more coming across the floor towards her. There was one on her face. It was heading for her nose. She tried to blow air out her nose hoping to dislodge it. She shook her head from side to side wildly. The spider came on. She felt them begin to bite her. Gasping, she began to hyperventilate, hoping and praying for rescue. She heard moaning faintly in the background and realized she was the one making the noise. Feeling another spider land on her head, she began whimpering. The whispering of the spiders’ legs became a roar and she felt herself fading away. Welcoming the oblivion, she ceased to struggle and once again all was black.....*




Melissa woke in a cold sweat, heart pounding, shaking uncontrollably. Terror clawed at her throat as she felt the satiny prickle of tiny legs crawling all over her. Quickly throwing off the comforter and jumping to her feet, she snapped on the bedside lamp. Looking down at her arms and legs she could see nothing. No spiders. Reaction set in and she began sobbing as she rhythmically slid her hands up and down her arms and legs, brushing at spiders that weren’t there. It was just a nightmare. The same one as always. Shivering nonstop in the chill air, she wrapped her arms tightly around her middle, trying to control her sobbing. Trembling, crying, out of control, her shaky legs gave out and she sank back onto the bed again.

Cigarette. I need a cigarette she thought. Rising once again, she stumbled to the nightstand. Grabbing the pack of cigarettes she shook one out. Using both hands to steady the lighter, she finally got the cigarette lit. Dragging deeply, she felt the nicotine hit her system and she began to relax slightly. Turning, she began pacing, jerky and uncoordinated, while she continued to puff on her cigarette.

She continued to smoke and pace for several minutes before she felt the panic receding and her movements smoothing out. She began to feel in control once again. Coming abreast of her dresser, she paused and looked in the mirror. A young, unlined, elfin face stared back at her from underneath a cap of short platinum blonde hair. Dark anguished eyes looked back at her steadily. Melissa gave a short, sharp bark of laughter. Sarcastically she spoke to her reflection, “Well, aren’t you just a picture, Melissa Berkowitz! Shake it off . It was just a nightmare.” Taking out another cigarette and lighting up, she continued to inspect her reflection. Dark circles stood out prominently on her ashen face. Raising her cigarette for another puff she noticed that she was still trembling slightly. Knowing that she would not get any more sleep tonight and desperate for a reprieve from her memories, she turned away muttering to herself, “Time to bring on the Absolut.”

Going into the living room, turning on lamps as she went, she checked the floor for spiders before heading for the cabinet where she kept her whiskey. Getting down the bottle and a glass, she returned to the couch, sinking down after once again checking to make sure there was nothing crawling on it. Pouring a shot, she leaned back and closing her eyes, drank it all in one quick gulp. She breathed in sharply as it burned a fiery trail down to her stomach but almost immediately she felt the warmth settle and begin to spread. Quickly pouring another, she tossed it back as well. After the third drink, when she felt pleasantly warm all over and was beginning to feel a little numb, she lit up another cigarette. She briefly closed her eyes and then quickly opened them again. She glanced down at her body, making sure that there were no spiders on her.

She glanced around her bare apartment, suddenly seeing it as it really was. Overflowing ashtrays, empty whiskey and beer bottles, unwashed dishes, stacks of pizza delivery boxes and piles of dirty clothing littered the place everywhere. She had been in Los Angeles for a month now and she hadn’t even bothered to decorate the apartment. Most of her stuff was still in the moving boxes, stacked along one wall of the living room. She had thought a change of scenery would help her forget and help the nightmares go away. But it wasn’t working. She only left the apartment these days to go to work at the Hair-N-Now Salon. It was the only time she could truly relax and be at peace. The customers and other girls she worked with made her forget, at least for a few hours, all about her own problems as she immersed herself in their lives, their problems, their worries and concerns. It was her safe haven.

Thinking about her job, she realized that she wanted more to life than her existence as it was now. She wanted her old self back. She wanted back the Melissa that was bold and brash. The one that had gone shoplifting with Amanda and picked the pockets of innocent strangers she met in bars. The one that would take a car for a couple of hours for a joy ride, abandoning it when she was done. The one who embraced life and its challenges. The one who *lived*. Not the Melissa that was scared of every little sound. Not the one that totally flipped out at the site of even the smallest, most harmless spider. Not the one who couldn’t get more than three hours of sleep a night before the nightmares came. Not the one who hid from life instead of embracing it with open arms. It was time to take control of her life again.

The Absolut and cigarettes forgotten, Melissa sat on the couch as the black of night lightened into dawn, thinking and planning. Finally, she reached the conclusion that she needed to go back to Seacouver and face her demons head on. She would find out where Amanda was and what she had been up to in the past few months. She would find out what had happened to Colonel Simon Killian. She briefly toyed with the idea of trying to do to him what he had done to her but quickly abandoned it. She knew he was crazy so she didn’t think it would work. She thought about killing him but she had never killed anyone before and she was not sure if she could now. She was sure, though, that together her and Amanda could come up with something sufficiently nasty to teach him a lesson about messing with them.

Sighing, she rose from the couch and stretched. Glancing out the window at the early morning light, she grinned darkly and turned away muttering to herself. “Run, Colonel Simon Killian, run. When Amanda and I catch up with you you’ll wish you had. We’ll stick you in the dark with some of your spiders where no one will hear you. You can crawl on your hands and knees but you will get no mercy. I *will* have my revenge.” Laughing softly she began shedding her clothes as she headed for the shower. She had a busy day ahead of her. She had a million things to do and the first one was getting a plane ticket to Seacouver. Feeling more lighthearted than she had since the abduction, she began to set her plan in motion.

FINIS

Army Ants by The Tea Party

Bring on the Absolute
A walk on the water
Can lead you to slaughter

Chorus:
No one will feel you
No one will hear you

Bring on the brave new world
Tied to condition
A slave to submission

Chorus

All that I need
Is a way to deceive
The eyes of the end
I will rise once again
And still shine on

Chorus

Crawl on your hands and knees
Blind from the vision
The dawn of decision

Chorus:
No one will feel you
No one will hear you
All that I need
Is a way to deceive
The eyes of the end
I will rise once again
And still shine on.

Mail The Author
Return to Index