Disclaimers: I don’t own the characters. No profit is made, nor will it
ever be, nor any copyright infringement is intended.
Rating: I’d say Gen (despite the very slight allusion to bdsm)
Notes: This was written in response to a challenge for the Lyric Wheel.
I was supposed to write something funny and light-hearted, but, well, I
don’t have much sense of humour. This is all I could come up with.
Perhaps if I had Suze’s or Diana’s talent something could come out of
this. As it is, it’s a mess oh, well….
The lyrics sent to me are at the end.
Olympia
Everybody knows
(just because I can’t think of a title to save my life)
by Olympia
****
“So many people you had to meet. Without your clothes. Everybody knows
that, but me.”
Duncan made himself comfortable, waiting to hear the punch line.
“But it’s my job, I replied,” Methos finished with a shrug.
“And he didn’t believe you?” Duncan tried hard to hide the smirk off
his face.
Methos shook his head and then sighed. “It’s the third one in two
months. This is getting boring.”
Duncan nodded, his grin finally appearing and sharing a look with Joe,
who was equally amused. Listening to Methos mourn his latest love
affair was a more entertaining business than one would have thought.
Not that Methos seemed particularly crestfallen. In fact, Methos
seemed, well, quite blasé about the whole thing.
“So, what bothered you this time, Master?” Joe smirked.
Duncan noticed Methos’ answering smirk. Joe could get away with murder,
as far as Methos was concerned. The only time he’d called Methos
‘Master’ he’d ended up with his face on the ground and Methos’ sword on
his cheek.
“Pride, of course. I had prepared such a nice break-up speech.” Methos
sighed. “Oh, well.”
“Not their fault your profession is a bit… unusual,” Duncan ventured.
“Unlike yours, partner?” Methos’ eyes had narrowed dangerously and his
voice was soft and smooth, always a bad sign.
Joe snorted. “Face it, old man, being “Master of Ceremonies” isn’t the
same as having the Management of your Establishment, fine as it may be.”
“It’s a job like any other.” Methos stirred the sugar in his cup
furiously. “I don’t do anything bad, Joe. And I’m quite good at it.”
“I bet.” Joe shook his head and turned to Duncan. “Is business doing
that well, Mac?”
Duncan took a sip of his coffee – black, thank you, unlike that stuff
Methos used to drink – and nodded. “You wouldn’t believe how many
people like to be… It makes no sense, really.”
Methos snorted. “Of course it makes sense, you just don’t want to admit
it. You should join me sometime, you’d be quite a success.”
“Methos,” Duncan warned the serious-looking immortal with a glare. He
suspected it wouldn’t be the first time they’d have that discussion.
“Is this why I came back?” he muttered. After travelling around the
world for years he’d come back, to find Joe teaching at Watcher Academy
and Methos the owner of a very exclusive club. He still didn’t know how
he’d signed a contract to work for the devious SOB, but he suspected
that it had involved lots and lots of liquor. There was still a gap in
his memory, after all.
“At least you’re not the main attraction,” Joe said, as though he were
reading his thoughts.
“Pity, he’d be great in leather,” Methos said, flicking his wrist while
still holding his spoon. The spoon somehow made a graceful arch in the
air and landed on the floor with a clanging noise. “Oops.”
Duncan rolled his eyes. “Joe, you didn’t see him pour brandy in his
coffee, did you? We’re trying to get him off the stuff, thank you very
much.”
“I’m immortal, and, I’m not an alcoholic,” Methos protested from
somewhere on the floor. “Where’s the bloody thing?”
“You don’t need a spoon, Methos, get up. Ouch.” Methos had managed to
hit Duncan’s knee with his elbow and Duncan knew he was doing it on
purpose.
“I’m not in the habit of making a mess,” Methos explained calmly as he
stood up once again. He then threw the spoon in the sink with another
graceful flick of his wrist and resumed his position.
Duncan rubbed his eyes, but he was certain Joe was watching Methos
closely and with a very strange expression on his face. Methos was
sprawling like he always did, though. And was staring at him quite
speculatively. It made the hair on Duncan’s back rise.
“You’d really look good in leather, Mac. We’ll find you a suitable name,
perhaps Master Damian or Reinhardt or Udo?”
“Master Udo sucks,” Duncan said absent-mindedly.
“Such language.”
“Why not Fido?” Joe was grinning again.
“Joe. If I wanted to be in the entertainment business, I wouldn’t do as
a Master of Bondage, like he does.”
“Oh, you make it sound so kinky,” Methos said in his most honeyed voice
and looking at him from under long lashes.
“It is kinky, that’s why,” Duncan exploded and stood up to pour himself
some more coffee. “You tie and beat people up, Methos.”
“And they come back for more.”
“If you’re having such a problem with that, then why don’t you go?”
Joe’s innocent question echoed his thoughts – again. It was uncanny.
“I think he likes to see me work,” Methos suggested just as innocently.
“Oh, gimme a break.” Duncan tasted the coffee and spat it out. It
hadn’t grown cold but it felt stale.
“Oh, well, just trying to broaden your horizons, Mac,” Methos said and
stood up effortlessly. “Got to practice. See you later, okay?” He
grabbed his coat and walked out of the barge.
Duncan ran his hand through his hair in annoyance. Joe stared at him.
“What?”
“Nothing, buddy.”
“No, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Look, I have to get going too.”
“Fine, man. I’ll be by the bar later.”
“Yeah, whatever.”
Joe walked out and Duncan suspected that his friend carried a secret out
with him. Well, he’d find out eventually.
****
Everybody Knows by Concrete Blonde
Everybody knows that the dice are loaded
Everybody rolls with their fingers crossed
Everybody knows that the war is over
Everybody knows that the good guys lost
Everybody knows that fight is fixed
the poor stay poor and the rich get rich
that's how it goes
Everybody knows that the boat is sinking.
Everybody knows that the captain lied
Everybody's got this broken feeling
Like their Momma or their dog just died.
Everybody's hands are in their pockets
Everybody wants a box of chocolates
and a long stem rose.
Everybody knows.
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows that its now or never
Everybody knows that its me or you
Everybody knows that you live forever
When you had a line or two
Everybody knows that deal is rotten
Old black Joe still pickin' cotton
for ribbons and bows
Everybody knows you love me baby
Everybody knows you really do
Everybody knows you've been faithful
Give or take a night or two
Everybody knows you've been discrete
So many people you had to meet
without your clothes
and Everybody knows.
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
Everybody knows
that's how it goes
Everybody knows
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