Disclaimer: I don't own nobody or nobody's body. ::sniffle:: Duncan and Methos belong to Panzer/Davis'. That 'other guy' belongs to me.

Hullo, sorry I'm late! I was very uninspired and it was late and I'm making up excuses now, aren't I' Oops. Well, thank you mucho to the awesome pixie faery. She will assimilate *you*. Ok, this is rated, um, R' For cussing and some slashy stuff and violence (what can you expect from a quickening story')
Also, I wrote this for part of my other story I'm working on (much apologies to my betas for putting them through the same old same old') Lyrics used are Shatter by Meredith Brooks. Enjoy!


BLURRING THE EDGES
totem

I can't afford to come undone in your embrace. Nothing's going to be okay anymore; there's no chance of me rising above this if you carry it through. Why do you always know these things' Why do you play so many games' I've been tested, because of you and your demons. I've been total wasted, always wasted by the end of your exploits. You're not bringing him in here, I'm not letting you, Methos. You can't control everything around here, can't make me frozen with a stare. I'm not sharing my soul with you again.

But you drag him over to me anyway, hands tied behind him, some kind of sacrifice to the damned. I glance down at him, at his confused expression as he regards the chains binding me to the ceiling. I note his youthful features; they make him look innocent. I turn away, unable to look at his eyes, his lips, ever questioning your motives.

'You're gonna love this, boy'.' You exclaim, standing behind him, watching him move, watching me look at him. He has the same glint in his eyes as I see in yours; the same past.

'You knew each other," I conclude aloud.

You smile, slowly murmuring, 'That's an understatement.'

I close my eyes and turn my face away. I don't want to know, Methos. I don't care. And I don't'

'When you taste him, you'll want him. You'll be thanking me afterward, Duncan.'

'pulling out your sword.

'Methos, I don't fucking want it!' I tug at the chains, wishing you'd come a little closer so I could rear up and kick. Then we'd both be free.

Ignoring me, you look down on him, turning up his chin to face you. 'Well'' you ask him. 'Was is fun' Did you enjoy acting to cool''

The small immortal doesn't answer, instead demanding what you want with him. He turns his bitter stare back to the ground.

'What do I ever want with you'' you ask in mock innocence. 'Don't worry, I won't keep you long''

You're not gonna do it again, please, not again. My pace quickens as you raise your sword; I can't handle three in a day. You've exhausted me beyond belief, pushed me too deep to the zone.

I retreat.

'Don't kill him, Methos, he doesn't deserve to die.'

'Oh hell, don't start again, Duncan. Shut up and take what I'm giving you.' You give me a warning look before turning back to him, tensing for the fatal blow. I pull relentlessly at the chains, fury building me up, walking me through this exhaustion.

'Don't, please'' You don't bring down the sword. 'I can't take another one,' I breathe, ceasing to pull on the chains. My only hope is that you'll believe me, that you'll think of something else. Chances are slim, though. You drop the sword, let it rest at your side.

'Yes you can,' you say. Frowning, I shake my head profusely, remembering the first three. 'I can't.'

I see a fire glint in your eyes, trying to hide it, to look collective. You approach me and run a hand down my back, owning me; I know the message you're sending. You lean in close, whispering, 'Yes. You can. What doesn't kill you makes you strong, eventually.'

I don't want to be strong this badly, you bastard. I don't want to collect strength this way, to build myself up by letting you shove them down my throat. I feel dizzy, remembering the pleasure the first one brought me. I don't want to want it. I'm afraid that you'll make me drink down the pleasure guiltily. I want no pleasure from this; I want to be a victim. I want no blood on me.

You lean into me, whispering all the things you've done to him, sounding seductive, and I try to block out what I'm hearing but I know I'll see it'feel it all as soon as that man dies. I can't let you kill him; this will be nothing like the first one.

You bring your blade to my skin, and kiss me; feels like prick of the pin. I just breathe in'

'Everything he shows you promises what you're going to get.'

--I just breathe out. Feeling your touch running over me, daring me'.

''it makes us strong eventually.' I just want no blood on me.

You back away, raise your sword again, and bring it down, saying, 'It's destiny wasted over and over.' You cut off his head; I am repulsed by the thought, feeling like a kid again, my stomach doing flip-flops from the sickening sight. I swallow, a sudden headache blurring the edge of my vision, cutting off my thoughts. Oh God, he cut his head off, he'there's too much blood, too much blood'.

You stand directly in front of me, arms uplifted and legs braced apart. You turn your face to the roof, mumbling fragments.

'Let me show you what you'll become, Highlander.'

'No!!' I protest, tearing up my wrists trying to be free, trying to shake off the glow that sifts into me, chocking me, until all I can see is his face, his bound hands. I hear his voice as he dies, right before he falls to the ground. Millions of thoughts, flying by in a second, eating my brain.

''seven doves are waiting for me up ahead'.'

Lightning strikes, hitting us both. In his mind, I see your smiling face, your glare, your weapon; I see your brothers'

'Jesus,' I moan, falling forward limply, letting the chains cut further into my skin. I feel you cutting him, deep, down to the bone; feel your flesh against mine. Pain shoots through me, electric and ceaseless, building me up until I feel it lifting me off the ground. I feel your presence inside me, sharing his power. I feel you looking into my thoughts as I stare down into yours, trying so hard to ignore what I'm hearing, what I'm seeing and feeling.

The quickening is not painfully long, but intense in it's lifespan. I feel it ending, feel all his memories flushing down into my mind, horrific but prophetic, as you promised. I try my best to stand up straight; I taste blood, feel it running down my arms, the chains almost melded into my wrists.

*It's not what I see, not what I see'.* I just breathe out, I just breathe in, and'

'Don't tell me you didn't enjoy that, Duncan.'

--come out screaming, it's the only time we're free.

Electric tingles run up and down me, head throbbing and fingers numb, but it's over. I let myself go limp, trembling and in a cold sweat. You stumble over to me and watch me crack. It's amusing that I'm still on fire.

You regard me hungrily, waiting for me to react. I feel my throat has melted, and wait for you to take what you want, for a moment feeling almost indifferent.

'Troubled man, he was,' you comment, sounding boyish. I drink in the silence. Morning has broken; I realize I've been chained here all night. You lick your lips, drop your sword you've been holding all this time. 'I know you won't admit you liked that,' you smile, short of breath but almost recovered. 'I think you owe me something, don't you''

Gasping, I swallow and shake my head profusely, grimacing as you grab the nape of my neck. You brush your lips against mine, and I still feel a voltage drumming through us both.

*I have a secret. In the dark I keep it closed.*

You continue to kiss me harshly, keeping a firm grip on my neck and fumbling over my belt, your temperature rising; but I feel a thousand miles away, unable to keep my mind off of what you did to him in India, how I could feel Caspian's breath on me, his blade cutting away so much flesh'

'How could you do it'' I wonder aloud, grimacing at your touch, ravaging. 'How could you do it to him''

You stop and look at me; I try to hide my relief. Your hazel eyes bore into mine, holding no anger but a dangerous conviction, willing me to shatter. We stare for a minute, my pulse racing.

'Well here's the thing,' you say quietly. 'I made no promise to the world. Still have my head. Each and every time, I'm given another chance, saved by the sun'why not do it''

Then everything becomes much clearer, keener. I feel my surroundings, my wounds. I feel that look you're giving me.

'I like the way you look this morning. I think the power did you some good.'

*'still have a secret no one knows.* I shake my head slowly, denying you just for my own sake, just to tell myself there's no blood on me. No shame on me.

I feel you owning me again, crushing me, willing me to shatter. Speaking softly. 'He learned to like it. So will you.' I may crack but I'll never shatter, never learn to love anything you do. He spins around in my mind, crying out, always crying out.

'How could you'' I whisper, trembling as you rip off my clothes, listening to my heartbeat and the quickening finally resting inside, deep where it won't knock me over again. I grit my teeth; no shame on me.

You gotta come out screaming.

*Seven doves are waiting'*

'it's the only time we're free.

FINIS


Shatter
Meredith Brooks

Prick of the pin
no blood on me
I've been tested
total wasted
and too deep
To the zone
I retreat
what doesn't kill you makes you strong eventually

Blade to my skin, blurring the edge
seven doves are waiting for me up ahead
I just breathe in
I just breathe out
I've taken every hairpin curve by now

I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack but it doesn't matter
I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack

Promise the world
dropped in a pool
Was it fun' Did you enjoy acting so cool'
Well here's the thing
still have my head
I stumbled hard but I'm not sleeping in your bed
Saved by the sun, no shame on me
Come out screaming, it's the only time we're free
I just breathe out
I just breathe in
I ride the wave until I come again

I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack but it doesn't matter
I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack
but I'll never shatter cause:
I still have a secret
In the dark I keep it closed
I still have a secret no one knows...
I may crack but I'll never shatter
Destiny wasted over and over
I may crack but it doesn't matter
In the darkness I won't shatter

Shake down just did in time
It's amusing that I'm still on fire
I just breathe in
I just breathe out
I may crack but I'll never shatter cause:
I still have a secret
In the dark I keep it closed
I still have a secret no one knows
In the dark I keep it closed
I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack but I'll never shatter
I may crack...
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