November 9, 1999
"I'm more of the doer type."
November 10, 1999
"I was laughing so hard, so much."
"Tell her it's bones, soup bones, chicken bones."
"Shhhh....I think it's monsignor." (It was Sean Melner)
November 18, 1999
"Hold it down!"
"Hey, what's going on out here?"
"Captain cowboy."
January 4, 2000
"It looks like your appendix...Israel."
"Take my word for it."
"Right now Sadam is in the box."
"Just so, whatever."
"I like the Hokies. Hokies Pokies, ya know?"
"Wait a minute. I took care of you two guys and you've been getting on my nerves...how's your mom?"
"Instead we dropped it on the tents of his front yard."
"They'd break down all over the highways."
"Ehh...help me out."
"I'm not totally bad, bear with me."
"It has been used by professors and teachers who teach."
"I know not why..."
"Ya want me to BANG it again?!?"
"Well, those were the days of old."
"Hey, shut up you goof. What's the matter with you?"
January 7, 2000
"They're just a bunch of immature babies."
"Speed that tastes like mint!"
"Probably laced with some mary joe wanna."
January 11, 2000
"Are you talented in that regard at all?"
'I don't think we did.'......."I think you did."
"That would be a travesty."
"Now this is interesting...here's his grandfather's horse."
"I was very young boy."
January 12, 2000
"Control yourself, you're out of control."
"Ya know what breaks me up? Mr Bean. I hate it when he drives that car of his and then can't park it."
"He goes out there and chops off the obscene parts." (referring to Tom Green and his manmade human statues)
"What do you want from me? You're bugging me."
January 13, 2000
"You're such a bandwagon person, ya know? Get a life!"
"It might say Cokasis Mountains letter P."
"Why are you badgering me to death here Patrick?"
January 23, 2000
"Europe was like Humpty Dumpty. It was a mess."
"What do you think his problem was?"
January 28, 2000
"Wrong arrow! I got the wrong arrow."
February 2, 2000
"It seems like everyone is judged on Kellogg's boxes."
"Special K! Don't even get me started."
February 9, 2000
"Donny will you please get out of my sight before I nail you?"
"You're like a Jake-In-The-Box the way you bounce around."
"Why at times do you have to sprout out like Mr. Flake-O?"
"No, we're N*Sync" [Donny]
"You're in the sink alright!" [Bullet Bob]
"Anybody missing please raise your hand."
"I have no control over this type of stupidity."
"You don't have to touch her and describe how you would do it. If I wanted to touch her this is how I would do it. ::funny hand motion:: If I wanted to get her attention this is how I would do it. ::another funny hand motion::"
"Well howdy doody!"
February 10, 2000
"Well, geez, I feel like Judge Joe."
"I don't wanna feel like the Grinch who stole the championship."
"But I can't say he looked any better then the guy at the door." (Mr. Maloney, need I say more?)
February 16, 2000
"Anyone can rent a movie. Anyone can go to a concert."
February 17, 2000
"Forgetful people I just won't have any dealings with."
"What time is this over again?"
"Control your lip, Don. I can hear everything you're saying, Don."
"Look what this says! Your students think you're a louse and you will be exterminated next year.' "
"Who ya slammin' now Donny?"
"Ya know Patrick, you should be a priest because you're so upset to do wrong that it's right."
February 23, 2000
"So there's sort of a *twinkle* to it!"
"Say What Karaoke. That's a weird one that gets to me."
"I think he's capitalizing on all the stupid people in the world." (referring to Jerry Springer)
"Where do you dig these people out?" (referring to guests on the Springer show)
February 28, 2000
"I'm just checking out your medal."
"Sit up straight and normal. How's your mom?"
"You know when you're getting old when kids at the mall laugh at you. I felt like turning around and saying 'Hey you scrony little brats!' "
"I get the trophy for the MVP and I don't even get a girl."
"Who was your mom? Was she a cheerleader? Watch out!"
"Man! You're like, that really gets me."
February 29, 2000
"Like a Jack rabbit."
March 1, 2000
"They should put you on Star Trek, I don't know what they'd call you though. Maybe Student Psycho."
"Just get up, sign out, we'll catch you on the rebound."
"When I went to school it was I had to worry about if I had my lunch pail. Now it's like, 'Do you have your gun?' "
"Anybody can do that, have a baby. The problem is can you rear it correctly?"
March 2, 2000
"WHOOO the heck do you think you're talking to?!"
"What are you cranked on?"
"Bag on your back and bop down the aisles, do a little bit of a snake charmer dance!"
March 3, 2000
"Stay out of the Pickle Barrel and Wobbily Barn."
"We dropped the Fat Boy! You don't know the Fat Boy?"
"A pallet! A wooden pallet."
"Yours truly."
March 7, 2000
"I was thinking we kinda got silly in the last class so I guess we could get silly in this class."
"Looks like there's gonna be more then a dance tonight."
"He's always been a liar, a sneak. I gave up 20 years of my life coaching baseball with him and I almost got myself punched out." (Mr. Maloney once again)
"The people with all sorts of colored hair and all, they're the crazies."
March 9, 2000
"Where's my make up?"
"Why do we have all the comments? ...the ri-dic-u-los-ity."
March 10, 2000
"Just like I don't shoot those skunks in my front yard when they're eating grubs."
...and there was another time when he was talkin about how funny it was to watch his 15 year-old dog crash into things as it walks around and how fun it is to give it a "friendly shove"
"Scatterbrainess."
"The world revolves around Joe Matiolli...hit the road!"
"They say don't call your students freaks, do not call them space cadets or space cadetresses, do not worry if the elevators stop at every floor. Be nice to them."
March 13, 2000
"I'm just asking all of you to keep your heads screwed on right."
"You say VonSchieffen Plan, I say VonSchieffen Plan."
"As like Americans on planes today, they don't know if they're the only ones on board or not."
March 14, 2000
"I don't know what it was but something about milking cows being abused and students doing research and using the cows."
"Hey now, I shop at those stores...what's the matter with you?" (referring to Wal-Mart, K-Mart and Sally's)
"Beer on your cheerios.."
"If you get Maloney for Saturday and Saturday he'll go crazy on you."
"Over the internet, that's the best way to date...cyber relationships."
"You have to go to the game and cheer on the fans."
March 15, 2000
"What are you? Cookie monster? Some kind of emulating plant? A druid or something?"
"Seasonal swingers did you say?"
"Name calling bandit you!!"
"Because you like to do that kind of thing...immaturity."
"12...where are we?"
"I am near sighted, are you near sighted?" (and then he went into like a 10 minute convo with Emily about the history of contact lenses and his role in wearing them. Poor Emily.)
March 16, 2000
Jeff: Fabian is lying like a rug.
Bullet Bob: That's not even clever. Mind your own buisness!
"No...no...put your hand down...No, I mean shut up your mouth."
"Stealing someone's kidney? That's more like a prank!"
"You two are like Siamese twins attached at the elbow."
March 20, 2000
"Sit up here and try to act normal"
"You enjoy detention? That's just sick ....... yeah Mr. Maloney he was sitting in the back laughing it up having a great time, that's sick"
March 17, 2000
"Well aren't they nidgy..."
"You're a fruitcake!"
March 21, 2000
"I should tell you about the scar on my leg injury I have. I fell down and somebody jumped on me on the pile in the volleyball game."
"I'm a real freak, ya know what I mean? A freak."
"Decapitated...mutilated...crucified..."
March 27, 2000
"She realized I had been crankin' on him."
"I played a really dirty trick..."
March 28, 2000
"What are you getting strange on me for?"
"You're walking around like zombies!"
"Senile...don't you laugh at me!!!"
"You wouldn't be an old buzzer, you'd be a new buzzer!"