All the news that's unfit to print
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After nearly 30 years of speculation, Jim Morrison shocks the public by winning the Pittson Tomato Festival in "The Largest Tomato Grown by a Dead Rock Star" category. "Maybe if I just walk through town, no one will know I'm an escaped convict. I look normal."
Tiger Woods and Sergio Garcia announced their engagement last weekend.
Tiger says, "I'm livin' La Vida Loca!"
At a Lilith Fair Press conference in Anchorage, Alaska Sheryl Crow demonstrates that when the temperature drops below zero, the human tongue will stick to metal objects and Sarah McLachlan.
Bessie the Cow, winner of the "Detroit Rock City" Gene Simmons look-alike contest said she will try to turn her new found fame into a film career. "Miss this opportunity," she exclaimed. "Don't be udderly ridiculous!" "I'm going to milk this opportunity for all it's worth," she continued, adding "Why not shoot for the mooon?!!" The judges felt Bessie was out standing in her field.
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Last Revised: 9/99
