“Now look, if you think I’m unsuitable, let’s have it out in the open.” Shawna told John who was sitting next to Yoko. “I can’t stand these backstage politics.”
“How do you turn the situation into black and white, somewhat?” John asked.
“Well, quite honestly, I wasn’t expecting you to question my ability, eating wise.”
“I could listen to her for hours.” John told us.
We were in a huge hotel, where we would be staying for a few weeks. Yoko had moved in already, and slept in John’s room. Shawna slept in Jamie’s room. Jamie wasn’t too happy about the situation, and neither was George, for that matter, but, Shawna was her friend and Jamie didn’t want her to feel left out completely.
Everyone but Yoko had just come home from the hospital, and had gotten their minor injuries patched up, good as new.
* * *
The boys had had a holiday for a long time now and it was time for some work. “Good, I’ve been dying for a bit of work.” Ringo said excitedly.
“Aw, he’s the teacher’s pet!” George joked.
They were working on a new song that Paul had written for me called “I Want to Hold your Hand.” The song would later go on to be their first number one in America. A few weeks later they appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show, three times. Us girls went and watched. Over the microphone Paul dedicated the song to me. He said, “I dedicate this song to Samantha, the woman I love.” After, George went on to do the same with Jamie and Ringo with Jill. Finally John did the same with Yoko.
Shawna was sitting next to me and was pouting. Yoko sat next to Jill, looking distant.
“How come no one likes me?” Shawna asked, “How come I don’t have a boyfriend?”
“Because you’re a drag, a well known drag. When you’re not around, we talk behind your back and say rude things.” We explained.
“It’s my profession.” Shawna said. “I’m the resident elephant.”
* * *
“If you don’t need me I’ll lock myself up in the dressing room.” Shawna said the next day.
“No, we don’t need you; lunch isn’t for a half an hour.” Paul told her.
A little while later, Shawna came down, a few minutes early. She couldn’t wait for the Big Mac’s they had ordered.
Today was my birthday. Over dessert they sang “Birthday” to me. When they were done singing Paul handed me a large box. I opened it up excitedly. Inside was a picture of a horse.
“Very nice,” I said. ‘What do I want with a picture of horse?’ I wondered.
Seeing the look on my face, Paul said, “It’s not just a picture, Samantha. I bought you the bloody horse!”
“Oh! Thank you!” I cried. “I love it!” I kissed him. “I’ll name it Shawna. It’s as big as her anyway!” I laughed.
“I want to go home,” Shawna repeated. “No one likes me here.”
* * *
I didn’t end up naming the horse Shawna. I named it Paul, because it was as cute as him. The horse was very friendly and loved carrots. I feed them to it everyday. It was an Appaloosa riding horse and it was very beautiful. Paul had excellent taste. But I knew that already because he had chosen me.
Paul and I went riding that day, September 19th. We rode into the woods, me on the Appaloosa and he on his white mare. We stopped at a meadow and had a picnic lunch. Paul was so romantic and sweet. I couldn’t imagine life without him. We ate our lunch and made out in the grass. It was a perfect afternoon.
That night we rode back to the barn and then went out to dinner to celebrate. We ordered wine and got a little plastered. We had to call John to come pick us up when we were ready to come home.
Ring, ring! The phone rang back at the Beatle joint. Jamie answered. “Hello?” She asked.
“Hullo? Is John around? He he he.” I started giggling at Paul who was making funny faces at me.
“Samantha?” Jamie asked questioningly, “Is that you?”
“Huh, what? Yes this is me.” I answered. “Is John there or not? Cause you know we kinda need to talk to him sometime this century!” I giggled again.
“Yes he’s here. Are you all right? You’re acting funny.” Jamie replied in a huff.
“We’re fine, just a little
“Huh!” Jamie sighed. “Here’s John.”
“Hi John!” I said. “Will you come (hick-up) pick us up?” I stuttered. “We’re at that nice Chinese restaurant downtown.”
“What’s the matter?” John asked. “You and Paul have a little too much to drink?”
“Yeah, that’s right. We’re drunk!” I laughed.
“Yes, I know the feeling. I’ll be right over.” John replied.
* * *
The next morning I emerged from my room with a killer head-ache, I had my first hangover. As I entered the kitchen I heard Jamie and Shawna arguing.
“You do smell,” Jamie was telling her, “Awful!”
“That’s just your opinion.” Shawna replied. “Do I smell, Jill?”
“Yes, you smell terrible! You should really take a bath on a regular basis, not just every two weeks.” Jill answered.
“I was going to do it!” Shawna protested.
“Well, now, now, now!” I urged. Reluctantly she headed towards the bath.
She filled the tub with water, seemingly. John was coming down the hall, talking to Paul. “Well, we have to put it right,” he was saying.
Not knowing anyone was in the bathroom, he went right in. “Aaaaaaaaa!” He yelled, scared to death. “What is that?” He asked.
“My name’s Shawna.” She told him.
All of the sudden he heard a whoosh sound. (No this was not Shawna farting in the tub.) It was Superman! “What seems to be the trouble?” He asked, not seeing the blob in the tub.
“Nothing sir, I was just frightened by the resident elephant. She’d frighten any man, even the man of steel, like you.” John added.
Hesitantly Clark turned towards the tub. “Help me, heaven’s help!” He was not singing.
“What’s all the fuss about?” Shawna asked. “Haven’t you ever seen a real woman before?”
Clark fled the scene immediately, running for his life.
After that Shawna frequently sat in the tub and scared John for a giggle.
* * *
Read Chapter Four. Check out The Pooh Page The page where I got my email pic.
© 1997
