The eight of us soon returned to England. Too soon, if you asked me. But, the boys had work to do. They couldn’t stay on vacation forever.
A few days after we returned home I went to the bathroom to check and see if I had gotten my period yet. I hadn’t. I wasn’t too concerned, because sometimes I am late like that. Suddenly, I felt a strong urge to throw up, so I did. Of course I couldn’t have done it in the toilet; I did it all over the floor.
“Paul!” I shouted. “I just threw up all over the place!”
“I’ll have the maid clean up your mess.” He told me, as he tucked me into bed.
* * *
A little while later I woke up. I was madly craving tomato soup. ‘How odd,’ I thought. ‘I don’t even like tomato soup!’ “Paul!” I yelled again.
“What now?!” He snapped. “Dearest?” He corrected himself.
“I want tomato soup, pronto!” Paul scurried off to get the soup.
Just then, Jill came in. “You hate tomato soup.” She said. She looked at me strangely. “I heard you threw up.” She said. “I think you’re pregnant.” I grinned. I hadn’t thought of that! “That’s good,” Jill commented, “Because I am too!”
* * *
“Ringo, Paul, get in here!” Jill and I shouted.
“We’re pregnant!” We told them, excitedly.
“That’s great!” Screamed Paul.
“Wow!” Said Ringo.
Then Jamie came in with George. “We’re having a baby!” They exclaimed.
“So are we!” We all hugged.
* * *
The next day we went shopping. We bought matching maternity clothes. They were very groovy with mod patterns on them. We also bought bottles and cribs and everything else a baby could need.
“Oh, this is cute!” I said, holding up an outfit for our baby. Paul rolled his eyes. “We don’t even know if it’s a boy or a girl yet!” he exclaimed, exasperated.
We looked through some more things, finally decided on some unisex baby outfits. We would have plenty of time to shop when the delivery date was closer. We checked out and headed home.
“I think it just kicked!” Ringo exclaimed from the backseat of our limo. Jill just giggled, “Ringo, don’t be silly, it can’t kick yet!”
* * *
A few days later we went gambling at a local casino in London. Paul thought he would have a joint before we left. I coughed, gagged, and left the room, disgusted.
I went down stairs and threw a quarter into the slot machine. Three strawberries came up. That was my favorite food, in the whole wide world. Suddenly I had a mad craving for strawberry ice cream, so I left in a hurry for the closest restaurant, which happened to be just next door.
As I was retreating I heard someone hit the jackpot. ‘Lucky them.’ I thought to myself.
By this time I had arrived at the ice cream parlor. I ordered and sat down to eat. Suddenly a man appeared out of nowhere yelling, “Pardon me Mrs. McCartney, but it seems you just won the $10,000 jackpot! He told me as he shook my hand.
“Well, by all means I’d be quite prepared for that eventuality.” I said, shocked.
Just then Paul bounded around the corner, with John not too far behind. They had heard the announcement made over the loudspeakers and followed the man with the check.
“Great! We can give it to gun control!” He said happily.
“Okay,” I said, moving away from Paul who reeked of smoke. “I really wish you would stop that.” I told him. “It’s not good for the baby. It can cause birth defects. Do you want a deformed baby??” Paul just smiled sheepishly and shook his head.
After hearing all of the commotion Jill, Jamie, Ringo, George and Yoko came in. “What’s all the trouble?” Ringo asked, his arm still around Jill’s waist. “Did we miss anything?” Jill asked me.
“Yeah, Sam just won $10,000. She’s going to give it to gun control.” John informed them.
“That’s a really fab cause.” George said, stroking Jamie’s hair.
“Here,” I said thrusting the money the man gave me into John’s hands. "You can have it for your cause.” Then I left the room. Jill and Jamie soon followed. Yoko went off by herself.
* * *
“We need to do something about the guys' drug problem.” Jamie was telling us. “It’s harmful for the babies, not to mention themselves.”
“Yes,” we all agreed.
“We’ll talk to them about it at dinner.” Jill decided and we all nodded.
* * *
That night at supper George was smoking a ciggie. The rest of them pulled out cigarettes as well and lit them off of his. All of the sudden I got up from the table. Jill and Jamie followed. We walked over to another booth and sat down.
“What was that all about?” John asked, puzzled.
“Oh, they’re mad because of our smoking. It gets on their wick.” Paul explained.
“Oh, well we have to put it right,” George said, feeling bad.
They came over to our table. They each sat down next to their wives. John sat next to Yoko. “We’re really sorry.” They told us. “We won’t ever light up around you again.”
“You just don’t get it!” Jill said angrily. “We want you to stop because it’s bad for you!”
“Okay, okay.” Said Ringo. “We’ll try to quit. What’s that program you heard about John? Some hypnotherapy thing?”
“Yeah, I’ll call that number tomorrow and look into it. I’ve never really like smoking that much to begin with.” They all put out their cigarettes for the time being and we resumed our dinner. Shawna was at a Jenny Craig meeting with Brian, trying to lose those extra pounds.
* * *
Yoko was enraged. She thought getting high was enlightening. “Don’t be pressured to quit by them.” She told John after they got up in their room. “Why do you like them anyway? They’re so immature!”
Now it was John’s turn to be mad. “They just happen to be me bestest friends in the whole world. And if you can’t handle that, I think we should start to see other people.”
“I can’t believe you would choose them over me.” Yoko announced, annoyed. “They’re stupid and don’t know the first thing about singing. No one could ever compare to the talent that I possess.”
“That’s a laugh! You must have the worst voice I have ever heard. I can’t believe I’ve humored you for so long! And you have the nerve to call my friends stupid?” John yelled. “All right, on your way. You went too far, get out of here and don’t ever come back!” John began throwing her belongings into the hallway.
Yoko glared at him, picked up her things and shouted for all the world to hear, “You’ll be sorry, I’m going to get even with you for this!” as she stormed out of the building.
Jamie and I were not too far away and heard this entire goings on. We breathed sighs of relief when we heard that Yoko and John had broken up. Little did we know that our friend Yoko would be back in the future to disrupt our lives once again.
* * *
The Beatles soon joined a hypnotherapy group and were hypnotized to get rid of their nicotine addiction. It actually wasn’t that hard for them to give up. They soon declared their studios no smoking territories. Anyone who wanted to smoke had to step outside, something that they were years ahead of their time in imposing.
This came in handy because one day us pregnant girls decided to join the boys in the studio. Jamie was feeling ill, so she brought her bed along. Ringo kept getting his trousers caught in his drum set, and was complaining about it.
“Take ‘em off!” John joked.
“I like that idea,” Jill piped up.
“Please spare us!” George pleaded. He was practicing a new song he had written for Jamie, called 'Taxman.' I guess he thought she would appreciate the irony of the government taking more money than they earned. We all had a laugh at his new tune.
* * *
“Let’s go horse back riding,” Shawna suggested. She loved riding horses, and even competed in Gymkhanas.
“Yeah, I haven’t ridden Paul in so long!” I declared happily.
“Samantha! How could you forget? We just did it last night!” Paul said, insulted.
“Way to go Samuela!” Jill joked.
“Not you!” I exclaimed to Paul, sending Jill a glare. “The horse!”
Turning to Jill, I said, “So! You and Ringo keep us awake almost every night!” George and Jamie agreed.
Just then we heard a small noise. “Did you hear that?” Jill asked.
“No, why?” I asked.
“I just farted.” Jill said, turning bright red. She let out a nervous giggle.
“That’s nice, Jill.” Paul said as he rolled his eyes.
“Well, are we going riding or what?” I asked.
“Samantha, you know I’m always up for that.” Paul told me as he whispered into my ear, “Let’s go upstairs.”
“Huh!! The horse! All you people want to talk about is sex and bodily functions! I just want to ride my horse!” I exclaimed, perturbed.
“Oh, well why didn’t you just say so?” Paul asked. John was laughing hysterically at our little argument. “I’ll go get the horses saddled up, I think Paul better take a cold shower before he does any riding!”
We all laughed and Paul looked a little embarrassed. We all got our riding apparel and headed off to the barn.
When we got there we realized we were one horse short, so Paul and I rode the same horse. It felt good to have my arms around my new husband. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something slither across the grass.
“Oh my God! Look at that huge snake!” No sooner had those words come out of my mouth when Jill’s horse, June, was very spooked. She reared up high in the air and sent Jill flying.
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh!” She screamed. “Help!” She landed on the ground with a thud you would expect from Shawna.
Ringo jumped off his horse and immediately ran to her side. “Are you all right?” He asked.
Jill moaned and tried to get up with Ringo’s help. She sniffed, not only from pain but from sadness. “I think something went wrong!”
“What do you mean?” George asked.
“I landed on my belly!” She exclaimed as a tear trickled down her cheek. “I think I just killed my baby.” She sobbed and Ringo put his arms around her.
“We need to get you to a hospital right away,” Jamie instructed, always calm in an emergency.
* * *
“I’m afraid we have some bad news, Mrs. Starr. You had a miscarriage.” A doctor told a very upset Jill an hour later at the hospital. She burst into sobs. Ringo tried to comfort her. Jill and Shawna had to spend the night.
Shawna had tried out the hospitals new scale while we were waiting for news on Jill. Her weight was too much for it, however, and it broke. Since no one had ever broken the scale before they made her stay overnight for observation and to watch her eating habits. She was not very happy about this, but John was. He was glad to get away from her for a night. She slept in the room next to his and every night she kept him awake with her singing. She often sang about her favorite food, which was chicken fat.
“Oh chicken fat, chicken fat, I love you because you make me fat.” She sang this to the tune of 'Smelly Cat' in a very high-pitched voice.
* * *
Before we left the hospital, Paul was singing a new song he wrote called 'Samantha.' It went like this “Samantha, ma belle, sont les mots qui vont tres bien ensemble, tres bien ensemble.” It was a great tune that won song of the year.
When we got to the hospital the next day to pick up Jill, her eyes were all puffy. I gave her a big hug, and everyone else soon followed. Shawna tried to join in the hugging but was rejected. Jill quickly pushed her away quickly and said, “You can’t do that!” Ringo tried to do more than hug. Paul had to haul him off, saying “Enough of that!”
As we left, Ringo was consoling Jill. “We’ll do it again tonight! You’ll be pregnant again in no time!” Jill seemed to like this idea, but we had to remind her that it wasn’t good for her to have sex so soon after a miscarriage. She resumed her pouting. Ringo looked like he might cry too.
* * *
When we got out into the parking lot we saw that the place was surging with fans. We gave them a quick wave and jumped into the limo.
A younger fan, about 12, was running like mad to catch up with the car. “You better run for your life if you can little girl!” Paul yelled out the window. As the limousine slowed down the girl thrust a record at John. He signed it and handed it back to her, smiling. He had signed “Ringo Starr.”
“This is the famous Ringo here...” John joked.
Ringo made face at him. “That’s not me!” He shot back.
The fan didn’t seem to mind, she was just happy. She watched us drive away with a tear in her eye.
All of the sudden they hit a big bump, sending Shawna flying. She landed on John’s lap. “Get her off!” he cried, suffocating. “I was just sat on by a bloody cow!” he exclaimed. She didn’t move, she liked the prospect of sitting on John’s lap. Finally George was able to pull her off. John caught his breath. “Next time you’re sitting up front if you can’t stay put.”
“No! Not that! Anything but that!” Shawna shrieked.
* * *
When we got home we went to the kitchen to get a snack. Shawna’s was more like a meal, even though she was still on Brian’s diet.
“I have to take a shower.” I announced.
“Okay,” Paul said, “I’ll join you.”
“Oh, you guys are so gross!” Jill told us.
“We’re gross?!” Paul exclaimed. “You’re the ones that have sex in the shower!”
Go to Chapter Six.
Check out The Pooh Page The page where I got my email pic.
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